Dating a Feminist Nymph

[GrkScorp]

I'm not going to try and sugar-coat this.. This one's a LONG story.., some of it is funny.., most of it is funny actually.., the title itself sums it up.., some sad.., some ironic.., but in the end.., it's a tale of an honest woman.., a bit crazy.., a bit confused.., and very emotionally unstable.., but nevertheless.., worth the journey.., a priceless life learning and experience..

Chapter I (The beginning)

I'm sitting down by my desk.., reading up on Information Systems and trying to incorporate some theory from Behavioral Economics & Evolutionary Biology into a model that best represents "thought systems".., then test it against a wealth of literature that's emerged regarding the neurology of the brain.., thanks to fMRI technology..

Just when I was having fun and relaxing.., Carla calls me..,

C: Hey you..
GS: Hey.., what's going on..
C: Nothing.., just bored.., what are you doing?
GS: Nothing really..
C: Are you doing anything tonight?
GS: Not that I'm aware of.., why?
C: I have 3 extra tickets to a gallery show in Chelsea.., and so far nobody wants to go..
GS: What's the gallery show about?
C: Illustration
GS: Illustration?
C: Yeah.., like commercial art and magazine art..
GS: Interesting.. well.., what time is it?
C: It starts at 9pm but we should probably be there by 8-8:30
GS: Err.., it's like 7 right now.., by the time I'm ready.., it'll be like 7:30.., by the time I get there.., say 8 just to be safe.., and let's hope it's easy to find.. thanks for the early notice..
C: Sorry.., it's just that Maria bailed on me and I paid for these.., but I don't want to go alone.., if you don't want to come.., just say so..
GS: Ugh.., would you seriously cut that crap out.. get ready.., and I'll see you there at 8:30.., who else is coming?
C: I dunno yet.., I'll try giving George a call and see if he's free..
GS: Fine.., i'll call and see if anyone else wants to come.., later..

(Yeah.., I never actually called anyone else.., only because I know that I wasn't even really that interested.., I doubt anyone was that bored on a Friday night)

Chapter II (The gallery)

We walk inside into a room full of SoHo and Upper East/West side snobs.. People who have an appreciation for art.., they pretend to be moved by it.., to have this deep connection and understanding of it.., because it makes them feel cultured and intelligent.., (overcompensating for what they clearly lack)..

The artist? A radical feminist who was also against consumerism.. All of the pieces were of women being mutilated.., torn apart.., a lot of blood splatter.., nature.., red.., anger.., frustration.., repression.., rage.., sadness..

Carla was really connecting to some of the pieces.., I could honestly care less.. I was looking around to spot some talent in this place.., and that's when my hottie-sense went off.. Sitting by a canvas with an ironing board and a man's blue working shirt sticking out.., was an Alektra Blue stunt-double.. Sure.., she was a little shorter.., and her hair looked boyish.., but her body and face were right on the dot..

GS: I don't know about you.., but I find this offensive..
Her: (smirk on her face.., she knew exactly what I was up to) In what way?
GS: Obviously it's very.., passionate.. But the theme is at best.., outdated..
Her: Excuse me?
GS: At least in a city like Manhattan.., do you think it's very realistic to represent the struggles of women with an ironing board and blue shirt?
Her: You'd be surprised..

(Blah blah blah.., it's a man's world.., blah blah blah.., men repress women.., blah blah blah.., women this.., blah blah blah.., women that.., blah blah blah.., we're so awesome.., blah blah blah.., guys suck.., blah blah blah)

Her: If you're such an anti-feminist.., why did you come here?
GS: Anti-feminist? That's quite a statement.. I'm actually here with a friend of mine.., but since you said that.., I'm curious to find out what.., you.., consider feminism..

(SKIP!)

C: Ugh-oh.., has he been boring you to death?
Her: No actually.., is this your "friend"? (catty voice inflection)
GS: Carla.., Kathy....., Kathy.., Carla..

(Fake-girly diplomacy)

Her: I'm actually having a gallery show in two weeks from now..
C: Really?
Her: I get a lot of inspiration from her work.., but I never show men in my work..
C: Why not?
Her: Because all my work is about women.., if I want to show a man.., I'll represent him as an animal.., but never human.., and all the women I draw are young girls.., innocent.., going through womanhood.., social pressures.., nature affection them.., or men hurting them..
GS: Hmm..

(More girl-to-girl chit-chat)

GS: Kathy.., it was a pleasure meeting you.., the conversation was a little heated.., but I enjoyed it..
C: Haha.., yeah.. same here..
GS: I'll definitely come to your gallery.., but I want to take you somewhere I think you might like before then..
C: (there goes that smirk again.., this girl was sharp) Are you asking me out?
GS: (thought to self "tts": wow.., that's a ballsy question) Yes.., yes I am actually..
C: Well.., give me your number and I'll definitely call you when I'm free sometime before then..
GS: Are you playing hard-to-get?
C: Haha! No!
GS: (smirk)
C: Maybe..
GS: Well.., you don't need to play hard-to-get.., I know you're not the "easy" type....... So.., why don't you give me your number.., and I'll call you next week.., or maybe this weekend if I'm not too busy.. (tts: WHAT THE FCUK ARE YOU DOING??!?!? Are you hard-balling a potential date? This isn't a board room or negotiations table.., you just went from light and casual to serious and heavy.., ugh.. this can't be good)
C: ###-###-#### (tts: hmm.. honest.., very interesting.., I was expecting her to go into denial and stick with her "i'm not interested.., i'm coy.., i'll think about it" routine.., this was definitely unexpected)

Chapter III (Red Flags)

So I pick her up from her apartment down in SoHo with my.., then.., Infinity that was soon to be totaled.. All I had planned was a museum down in Brooklyn.., which she's obviously been to before as an artist.. The point was.., it was clearly just for the date.. that was understood and out in the open..

The drive there was interesting..

K: Ugh
GS: What?
K: Do you know why they shape buildings like that?
GS: Like what?
K: The way they do..
GS: Umm.. no?
K: To repress women..
GS: What are you talking about?
K: Don't you see it?
GS: Not really..
K: Their shape!
GS: Phallic?
K: Exactly! Why can't they be shaped like vaginal objects?
GS: It would probably be architectually inefficient?
K: No! That's what they have you believe! You can easily build them under ground.., going into the earth..

(blah blah blah.. that conversation didn't end well)

K: Do you know why prostitution is illegal?
GS: You mean in the US?
K: Yeah..
GS: I believe back in the 1800's there was an outbreak of syphilis in Louisiana.., back when they didn't have condoms.., and to control for the epidemic.., they shut down all brothels and made them illegal..
K: Interesting.., I didn't know that.. but do you know the "real" reason?
GS: Go ahead.., I'm curious to see what the "real" reason is..
K: To keep money away from women.., and that way.., women don't have power..
GS: Give me a sec.., I need to compose myself..
K: You know it's true..
GS: (deep breath) All I'll say is.., maybe.., it's possible.., so there's no reason I wouldn't be open to consider the possibility.., but other things are also possible.. Like male prostitution which exists but doesn't get much publicity because it's taboo.., or that if sex was a "need" then prostitution wouldn't be illegal.., there would be a Hoes R' Us right next to every Starbucks.., and that men are actually more willing to pay for some high-quality eye-candy and teasing than they are for sex.. If you want a case study.., take NY.. They could never legalize prostitution in the city.., even with Spitzer as governor.., but when they tried to make strip-clubs illegal.., oh boy did that proposal fail..

(That lead into a great conversation about consumerism)

Flags:

- Do you think i'm pretty?
- Do you think I need to lose some weight?
- Wouldn't you like me if I was thinner? (good luck answering that one)
- Can I lose 5 pounds?
- I want to get implants.., I don't like the shape..
- Don't you feel lucky to have such a sexy girlfriend?
- Everybody is looking at me.., they want to sex me..

[GrkScorp]

Chapter IV (Why this lasted for as long as it did)

So the girl had some problems.. (understatement).., She grew up in Manhattan (rough on a girl's self-esteem when she's surrounded by other gorgeous women).., she had an adopted Asian sister.., (which made her feel fat).., her sister was getting implants (which would destroy the one advantage she had over her sister.., her 34Ds).. And I don't have a problem with feminists.., but radical feminism is a disgrace to all feminists.., You can't expect me to respect someone who has conspiracy theories exclusive to men and chooses to represent them as animals.. (clearly a reflection of her biased & self-centered view of this world from the way she sees it.., though it might be rough for her to accept or ever full admit that to herself)

But.., she had other redeeming qualities..

Positives:

- She was an artist.., and despite how provoking her art was for a guy.., artists mentally stimulate me..
- She was very analytical and had some interesting views on consumerism and how social pressure is engineered towards men (sex.., masculine identity.., success) and women (beauty.., feminine identity.., marriage.., status) to cause them to feel insecure and miserable.., and to seek an escape from that feeling.., and to find pleasure in "buying things" because it makes them feel good.., that made for great conversation all throughout the relationship..
- She knew how to dress.. Super short skirts.., heels.., silver chain around the waist.., belly button ring.., silver ankle bracelet.., tight shirts.. mmm..
- She was uninhibited.., constantly asking me to have threesomes.., to come on her chest and face.., to go doggy.., to try anal.., to make a video and post it on YouPorn.., every day.., she would make videos of herself.., fingering herself.., playing with a dildo.., stripping.., and sending it to me..
- She was a nymph.., she said it herself.., "sex is really important to me.., I need it at least twice a day.., and ideally.., four or five times on the weekends would be awesome".. (this also turned out to actually be her biggest negative)

Chapter V (Getting serious)

Ben has this strange philosophy.., that although I don't agree with.., have noticed to be true..

"Before you have sex.., you're just friends.. So.., anything you say or do.., just understand that you're doing it for a friend.., and nothing more"

In her case.., we were friends for about a day.., until we got to her place.. We make our way to her bed.., all I'm doing is sitting down and talking.. In fact.., I didn't want to sleep with her for a couple of dates so that she could get all worked up inside and go crazy.., but then she grew quiet..

GS: What's wrong?
K: Nothing..
GS: You got really quiet.., and you're being really shy.., like you're 10 (she was 21 btw)
K: Well.., it's just that.., there's this cute guy.., in my place.., sitting here.., on my bed.., and we're alone.., how do you want me to feel?

What I heard: "Kiss me"

After making out.., she ran her whole "I need sex twice a day" speech through to me.., and then I realized.., "well.., scratch waiting a couple of days.., that would be cruel.., she really really has to have it.., wants it badly.., I really like her.., so why not make her happy?"

That's when she whooped out a 10" sparkling pink dildo with the girth of my forearm..

GS: What the hell is that?
K: You've never seen one before?
GS: Not like that I haven't! I hope it's not for me..
K: Haha! No.., (sticks it inside her & makes it vibrate) Mmm.., doesn't this turn you on?

(tts: not really.., in fact.., I'm starting to really wonder about your ex boyfriends who told you this turns them on.., but that's probably not the best thing to tell her.., that would create all sorts of pressure and awkwardness.., oh.., what to say?)

GS: Mmm.., yeah..

(The following day)

K: What are some of your fantasies?
GS: I dunno.., I'll have to think about it..
K: Do you like the whole girl-on-girl thing?
GS: Not really..
K: You mean.., you wouldn't like it if you picked out some girl and we all had sex?
GS: It's not really a fantasy of mine.., one thing I do fantasize about is having sex in a hot tub when the water is around 98-103 degrees..
K: Well.., I have a 3-some fantasy.., 2 girls and a guy.., but more likely 2 guys and me.., would it bother you to have an other guy with us?
GS: Hey.., for as long as he's not doing anything with me.., I don't really care if that's what you fantasize about..
K: You mean it wouldn't bother you to have an other guy fcuk me while you're there watching?
GS: No.., it would probably bother me if an other guy fcuks you when i'm NOT there watching.., but if we're all together.., and I know we're doing it because you like it.., it doesn't bother me..
K: Even if the other guy is your brother?
GS: What?
K: Would it bother you then?
GS: It would be weird.., I'd have to say.., it would probably be a whole new level of brotherly bonding.., it would be weird.., I'll leave it at that.., I have no idea why you brought my brother into all of this..
K: What about anal?
GS: I don't like anal
K: But have you ever tried it?
GS: No.., and I don't want to..
K: It feels really good for the guy..
GS: I don't care.. it's a personal taboo against it..
K: But you're Greek..
GS: (deep breath) I said no..

Chapter VI (Retarded what?)

I should've paid less attention to her Alektra Blue body and been more perceptive to the fact that she had low self-esteem..

K: Are you close?
GS: Just finish.., we'll worry about me later..

(Crap.., it's later)

K: What's wrong?
GS: Nothing
K: Do you want me to do anything?
GS: No.., it's not you..
K: Do you want to fcuk me from behind? Stick in deep inside my nice tight ass? I know you want to..
GS: No.., I don't..
K: You don't think I'm sexy? Don't I turn you on? How can't you think I'm sexy? Other guys usually cum in under a minute when we're having sex.., they can't control themselves.., what's wrong with you? Are you gay?
GS: (deep breath) I have R.E.

(R.E. speech)

K: So.., if you don't enjoy sex.., why do you want to have sex?
GS: Well.., for one.., because I really like you.., and I want to make you happy.., I like seeing you enjoy yourself.., it makes me feel closer to you.., I feel a lot more connected.., sometimes it feels good..
K: So you don't want to have sex with me?
GS: No.., of course I want to have sex with you.., it's not like you're holding a gun to my head and telling me to fcuk you.., I do it because I want to..
K: But I want you to want me..
GS: I do.., can you just try and wrap this idea around your head.., that physically.., it feels numb at best.., and it has nothing to do with you.., you do turn me on.., look.., look how hard that is.., I can't flip a switch.., I'm not in control of that.., that's your doing.., but as far as finishing.., it doesn't happen all the time.., and it takes a long time when it does..
K: Well.., I'm not ok with it..
GS: What do you want me to do?
K: I want us to try and find someone to talk to about this..

(tts: someone to talk to about this means a professional.., she's a starving artist.., this professional won't accept sexual favors as a means of payment.., which means I'll get stuck with the bill.., but I am rather curious to see if there's anything I can do about it.., so this can be like an excuse to go.., perfect)

Chapter VI (Mr. Rx)

Dr: Can you just give us a moment Kathy.., I want to talk to him alone if that's fine with you..
K: Sure..
Dr: You can wait outside..

(goes outside)

Dr: So.., now that she's not here.., why don't you tell me what the real problem is..
GS: Actually.., that is the real problem.., there's nothing..
Dr: Can you describe the pleasure you feel when you're having sex?
GS: It feels like you're getting a head massage..
Dr: That sounds pretty good to me..
GS: Well.., apparently it's not enough.., and when all you can expect from sex is the frustration of not finishing.., and her getting upset about it later.., your desire for sex fades..
Dr: So.., your desire is affected too?
GS: Well.., sometimes.., I'm not fully hard.., I'm semi-soft.., semi-hard.., and then she gets upset.., brings attention to it.., like I have control over it.., the moment she does that.., bam.., it's gone.., It's over.., I'm upset.., and I need to just cool off my mind before I'm in the mood for sex or able to get hard again..
Dr: Do you feel desire for her?
GS: Well.., to be honest.., even though she's obviously very attractive.., and feminine.., and mentally stimulating.., she can be sitting there playing with herself.., stripping.., teasing.., talking dirty.., stroking my d*ck.., and I just won't be in the mood.., and honestly.., I think it's a problem.. This isn't normal for someone my age..
Dr: It's not.. (so let's make your insurance regret they ever gave you coverage) So let's run some tests and see what it could be..

Testosterone: In range (normal)
Free testosterone: In range
FSH: In range

(Weeks later)

Dr: I'm going to put you on Cialis.., also.., for more desire.., even though you're in range.., I want you to start taking AndroGel.., it's testosterone that's absorbed through the skin.., and also take some Ginseng & Yohimbe.. See how it goes..

[GrkScorp]

Chapter VII (Ben's conventional wisdom)

B: You do realize.., she's killed your dating life..
GS: Definitely.. it's only downhill if we ever break up..
B: She tells you to dominate her.., tie her up.., be aggressive.., rough.., control her.., tell her what to do.., make her your sex toy.., choke her.., slam her against the wall.., push her face down on the bed and lift her ass up to fcuk her.., I mean.., where the hell are you going to find that again..
GS: Yeah.., but..
B: Anal you say.., please she says.., threesomes? Why not bring the whole family?
GS: Haha!
B: Dude.., common
GS: Yeah.., but she's not doing it for me.., she's doing it for herself..
B: Obviously.., she has low self-esteem.., she needs to feel like she has some purpose in your life.. She's not paying for sh*t.., she's not exactly going to be doing anything with her life.., what else does she have to offer.., the fact that her and everyone else on this planet are "good people"? No.. She can deny it to herself all she wants.., but deep down inside she knows.., the only thing she has to offer.., is sex.. And it's a real slap in the face to be in a relationship with you.., For her.., she probably feels useless and worthless.., that's why she's behaving this way..
GS: Yeah.., when you put it that way.., I have no idea why we're still dating..
B: Because you're bored.., and because you can.. It's simple..
GS: Well.., no.., I really like her..
B: Sure.., but at the end of the day.., she's nobody..
GS: I wouldn't say that.., I just need to work on improving my desire.., it's not her.., it's me.., it's my problem.., and I have to work on it..
B: Haha! You should listen to yourself..
GS: What do you mean?
B: You're like a chick.., actually no.., I take that back.., if a guy told a chick "sex is really important to me.., I need it at least twice a day".., the thought going through her head would be "ah! awesome.., I feel so powerful.., I have all this control over him".., You on the other hand.., are stupid.., when she told you that.., you thought.., "crap.., how am I going to keep up with her? How am I going to satisfy her needs?".. Why don't you try bringing that up with that feminist b*tch and let her see who's the more considerate and sensitive of the two sexes..
GS: Yeah.., I don't really care about that debate.. Believe me.., I've had my fair share already.., She thinks all men get memos in the mail telling them ways to repress women.., and that when we say "no.., we don't get anything like that".., that we're lying..
B: You know what you have to do..
GS: What?
B: You have a threesome.., you fcuk her in the ass.., cum all over her face.., and then before she has time to clean up.., you break up with her..
GS: Break up with her? No.., I think she's a great girl.., she's just had it rough growing up.., if she gets the right amount of attention and starts to appreciate herself and stop competing with her sister.., she'll have normal self-esteem and her insecurities will start to go away..
B: You tell yourself that.., when people grow up with self-esteem issues and insecurities.., it's very hard to jump in and change them.. You can't.., only they can.. The thing with her is.., she's one of those people who would rather vent and nag and complain.., than to take a moment and admit herself to herself.., she's aware of how she is.., but she's in denial.., she doesn't want to accept that some parts of her are wrong.., some of the ways she thinks.., some of the things she says.., some of the things she does.., and the reasons behind why she does them.., are all bad or wrong.., so she makes excuses.., tries to think up of rationalizations and reasons to justify her flaws.., denying they're wrong.., she redefines them as normal.., that's her road-block to change right there.., and you can't fix it.., no matter how hard you try.., that's just the way she is..
GS: I think you're right..
B: I know I'm right.., the best you can do.., is stop torturing her.., let her go.., and let her find some beta who will appreciate her.., who will get more sex than he could ever bargain for.., and who will pay to keep a nut like that next to him for the rest of his life.., If you care for her or like her and want to help her.., be her friend.., don't date her..
GS: Ahem.., sounds to me like you already have someone in mind to take over..
B: Me? Fcuk that.., too much baggage that I don't give a sh*t about.. You love baggage.., it's like a puzzle for you.., you have to solve it.., and waste your time and money on bullsh*t chick drama.. No thanks.. She's hot.., but no offense.., we've both had better.. She's not 1 in a million.., she's 1 of a million just like her and better.. So.., just let her go..

[GrkScorp]

Chapter IIX (You were fcukn' right)

The thing with Ben is.., he always has great advice.., it's just that.., the way he presents it hits you the wrong way that you just want to do the opposite purely out of spite..

People with low self-esteem feel they're not worth it.., they have little value.., this creates such bad and negative feelings for them.., causing them to feel down.. But seldom do they like the negative attention.., so they want to project an "everything is just fcukn' peaches n' cream" image to the rest of the world.. Any reminder to the fact that it's all an act is a vulnerability and weakness.., an insecurity.. They can deny it externally.., but internally it torments them.. One thing that insecure people seek is.., you guessed it.., security..

You do the math.., low self-esteem + insecurity = controlling and manipulative behavior..

GS: I'm not coming over tonight.., I'm going to a friend's party..
K: You don't want me to come? (tone of voice specifically with the intention of inducing guilt)
GS: No.. it's just going to be us guys..
K: Ah! You don't want me there? You don't like spending time with me?
GS: I do like spending time with you.., my two favorite colors are black and white.., and no.., you still can't come.., but good try..

GS: When did you put your picture on my phone?
K: When you were in the bathroom.. do you like it? It's so you can think of me when you look at your phone.., and I put yours on mine too!
GS: I'll try and pretend to buy that.., but all I'm going to say is that I tell everyone I have a girlfriend.., you don't need to do this to make sure other girls get the point..
K: Are you accusing me of trying to keep other girls away by putting my picture on your phone?
GS: Yes.., in case that wasn't clear.., not accusing.., simply pointing out what you're doing.., and telling you there's no need for it..
K: Well.., that's not what I'm doing.. I guess if you don't love me.., I can take it off..
GS: Wow.., that's really amateur.., really cheap.., very low..
K: What is? If you love me.., you'll keep my picture on your phone..
GS: (deep breath) Actually.., if I flip a coin and it's heads.., or if I'm spineless.., or if I'm too tired to argue.., or if I love you.., then i'll keep your picture on my phone.., I keep your picture on my phone.., which one happened?
K: What the hell are you talking about?
GS: That's formal logic.., the necessary condition is your picture on my phone.., everything else is simply sufficient.., but not necessary.. So if you violate a sufficient condition.., all it means is that maybe there's an other sufficient condition that may have caused something to happen.., what you wanted to say was.. "only if you love me.., will you keep my picture on your phone".., and of course that statement would be a load of sh*t..
K: You're mean.., you're hurting me.. (waterworks)
GS: I hate to break it to you Kath.., but by the time you're an L3.., you learn to shut off your emotions and heart from your reasoning.., so I have to say.., really good effort.., but I'm not buying it..
K: fcuk you!
GS: When you're done being a little baby.., call me..

(and she still didn't break things off!!!)

K: When we go see my parents this weekend.., do you want to drive or take the train?
GS: Parents? Since when are we seeing your parents?
K: You're such a guy.., I mention seeing my parents and you look like you're on death row..
GS: No.., first of all.., you never mentioned anything about seeing your parents.., and then out of the blue you're trying to pressure me to see them with you're little "when".., as if we agreed already..
K: So you don't want to see them? I see how it is..
GS: You really need to stop with that.., what part of "it won't work.., EVER" don't you get?
K: What?
GS: Your emotional pressure.., the one you learned as a little girl.., and perfected through the years.., I admire your technique.., but it's both see-through and landing on deft ears.., you're not the only one or the first one that's tried..
K: Are you calling me manipulative?
GS: Yes.., and i'm saving you the time and effort by telling you that i'm like a clown fish.., immune.., I've seen it and heard it all.., and all variations that follow.., and it's beneath me to take the conversation down to an emotional level.., so I'm asking you nicely to please cut it out..
K: Ugh.., anyway.., so what are we doing this weekend?
GS: Honestly Kath.., I don't have a problem with meeting your parents.., what I have a problem with.., is you trying to force me or pressure me into meeting them..
K: That makes no sense.., you're contradicting yourself.., if you have no problem meeting them.., then why would it bother you if I just asked you to come meet them?
GS: (deep breath) You don't know the meaning of contradiction.., I'll let you get a feel for why it's not the same.. When my brother was little.., he used to come inside my room and steal my Oreo cookies without asking me.. He knew that if he would ask.., I would always say yes.., but he still never asked.., and I would always get upset at him.., He never understood why.., He would tell me the same thing.., "If you're always going to say yes.., then what difference does it make if I ask you or not?"
K: He's right..
GS: Let me finish.., the difference was.., that when he came into my room and asked me to have a cookie.., I would give him the whole pack.., and I loved seeing him happy later as he gobbled them all up.., when I gave him the whole pack.., I felt good.., generous.., kind.., like a good brother.., I would get spare packs just in the hopes that he would come and ask for a single cookie.. But when he stole my cookies.., he robbed me of that feeling.., now I didn't feel good or generous.., like a good brother.., now I just felt like he was stealing my stuff!
K: It's not the same..
GS: But it is the same! I want the idea to run through my head.., I want to feel the urge to meet your parents.., and when I do.., I want to be the one to ask you to meet them.., I want to feel how happy you get when I'm ready to meet them.., but when you try and pressure me or force me to meet them.., you take that feeling away.., now.., the only feeling you give the other person is the feeling of being manipulated or pressured to do something that they would supposedly not have any intention of doing.., and if they try and reject the feeling of being manipulated or pressured.., you just yell "you're afraid of commitment" to try and push them back in.. I don't want to meet your parents under those circumstances sweetie.., I want to meet them when I'm ready to meet them.., and believe me.., I want to meet them.., but this whole thing right now.., just added some time before we go up to see them..

Other attempted hooks:

- "When" we move in together
- Talking about kids in the general.., supposedly..
- Then talking about the last names of "our" kids..
- Then talking about what "our" kids will be..
- Talking about the future and marriage in the general.., supposedly..
- Then talking about "when" we get married.., and how it's going to be..

[GrkScorp]

Chapter IX (The End)

It took me a while to come up with this one.., but for some reason.., women get very emotional (angry) when guys (especially their boyfriends) start talking about pre-nupts..

I'm not going to generalize an entire gender here.., but let's be real.., truthful and honest here.. The girl was not doing anything with her life.., I'm sure she was more interested in something aside from the size of my package and the feeling of getting stuffed.. Her mind went wild with the fantasy of never having to worry about money ever again.., or relaxing.., living comfortably and having a secure future.., the one she couldn't hope to have given her career choice.. (not because a guy forced her to be an artist.., but because she chose to be one)

So when you bring up the subject of pre-nupts.., the feeling she (and any other woman in a similar position) would have is that of feeling like she's getting screwed over.. cheated.., even though nothing has yet to take place.., nor will take place..

The reason for that is simple.., although.., she might get angry when the truth hits her eyes.., that's just the denial kicking in.., she plans on having kids.., then sitting on her lazy ass and saying she's going to "sacrifice her $30k a year career as a starving artist.., and not chase after her "dreams" (not goals.., but dreams)" so that she could care for the kids.., when in reality.., this radical feminist hates the feminist revolution.., the concept of women's rights and equality.., because with equal rights.., come equal responsibilities.. But she'd rather the guy be working.., and she be sitting at home.., it rubs her the wrong way to hear that she might have to marry and then run the risk of actually having to work again..

So.., long story short.., since she kept pushing for the topic of marriage and the future.., I thought I might make the conversation a little more realistic by introducing the topic of a pre-nupt.. She flipped.. I thought it was funny.., very typical behavior.., and to be honest.., it was my mistake I mentioned it.., I should have known that a woman in her position wouldn't be able to handle it.. (like a lotto ticket telling you.., if you win.., you may end up getting nothing) that was her facial expression..

GS: Hey.., lol don't get so upset..
K: No! Now you pissed me off..
GS: This is so far off into the future.., when the time comes.., we'll talk about it more seriously.. But till then.., there's no reason to be upset
K: I'm mad at you..
GS: (deep breath) OK
K: We're not having sex until you apologize..
GS: HAHAHAHA! (wrong move on my part for her self-esteem.., I should've acted like I cared)
K: (starts crying) Why are you laughing? I'm serious..
GS: I'm laughing because I have sex because you want sex.., and I almost feel bad for you that you have to degrade yourself to this low..
K: What low? There's nothing low about it..
GS: But there is.., you see.., if I was upset.., despite me having sex with you for you and you only.., I enjoy making you happy.., sex between us is sacred.., it's our bonding activity.., our chance to connect and feel closer.., it would never for a second come through my mind to dare take that away from you just so I can force you to see things my way.. That's the difference between me and you..
K: Thanks.., it's not enough that I feel powerless.., you have to make me feel like a sh*tty person too..
GS: What is up with you and this control and power bullsh*t? You do realize that for me.., we're both equals.., there is no control or power..
K: That's how you see it..
GS: (deep breath.., something ticked) You know what..
K: What?
GS: This isn't going to work out..
K: What are you talking about?
GS: I'm making you miserable.., and the more I try.., the more unfair I'm being to you.., and honestly.., you don't deserve it..
K: Are you breaking up with me?
GS: (deep breath) Yeah..
K: (waterworks)

Chapter X (All you can do.., is laugh)

B: She's probably so confused right now..
GS: I think I was pretty clear.., now.., if she wanted to listen and understand what I was trying to tell her.., that's a different story..
B: The girl is a nymph.., and she's hot.., you do realize this is like the fantasy of almost half of all men.. Minus the emotional baggage of course..
GS: I think the one thing that really did it.., was the principle..
B: That was the mind-****.., she'll go on her whole life and never understand..
GS: That's because in her mind.., it's the guy who has to do the understanding.., in her mind.., she's perfect.., she can only see from the inside-out.., out to the rest of the world.., she can't see inside herself.., she doesn't want to look inside herself.., she's afraid of what she might find.., she's afraid that if she makes the effort to look hard enough.., she might not longer be able to enjoy the comfort of simply denying it to herself..
B: Well hey.., it was definitely an experience right?
GS: Psst.., yeah.. Fcuked up my car.., got juiced up.., was de-masculated by a plastic sparkling pink vibraking toy..,
B: Oh well.., I keep telling you.., but you never listen to me..
GS: It's not the same.., you have to touch the hot stove and find out what the experience is yourself before you keep your hand away from it next time..

[Gribble]

See, I told you he was just busy writing his next post.

[anachronistic]

Well, what an interesting story.

I have a question: why is "Do you think I am pretty?" a red flag? All the other ones are pretty obvious but that one is a little vague to me.

I can't believe you put yourself in this situation, but at least you got an experience out of it.

[Zilla80]

That had to have been a good hour invested into 1 post.

[shh!]

oh, HELL no.

[Asparagoose]

GS: Yeah.., when you put it that way.., I have no idea why we're still dating..
B: Because you're bored.., and because you can.. It's simple..

Can you really blame her for being that way? If you were in a relationship because you were bored, that's a bad reason to be in a relationship. No wonder she was acting crazy. It wasn't her fault, it was your fault.

[anachronistic]

Check my post.

[Kromat]

GrkScorp, I love reading your posts, but they're always too long.

It was quite funny for her to not understand what you were doing until it was too late.

You told her multiple times that she shouldn't be so manipulative, but she continued and
just wanted you to feel bad about yourself, but I congratulate you for giving in.
I'm glad that you finally stopped with her, and not make her feel miserable anymore.


P.S. Do you always find girls like this? or it this a rare case?

[Lipp]

K: Ugh
GS: What?
K: Do you know why they shape buildings like that?
GS: Like what?
K: The way they do..
GS: Umm.. no?
K: To repress women..
GS: What are you talking about?
K: Don't you see it?
GS: Not really..
K: Their shape!
GS: Phallic?
K: Exactly! Why can't they be shaped like vaginal objects?
GS: It would probably be architectually inefficient?
K: No! That's what they have you believe! You can easily build them under ground.., going into the earth.

As Im studying architecture, this one made me grin.

[ecojeanne]

Other attempted hooks:

- "When" we move in together
- Talking about kids in the general.., supposedly..
- Then talking about the last names of "our" kids..
- Then talking about what "our" kids will be..
- Talking about the future and marriage in the general.., supposedly..
- Then talking about "when" we get married.., and how it's going to be..

its disgusting this kind of behavior some people think is ok to do to their partner to 'trap' them...

[ecojeanne]

Chapter IX (The End)


So.., long story short.., since she kept pushing for the topic of marriage and the future.., I thought I might make the conversation a little more realistic by introducing the topic of a pre-nupt.. She flipped.. I thought it was funny.., very typical behavior.., and to be honest.., it was my mistake I mentioned it.., I should have known that a woman in her position wouldn't be able to handle it.. (like a lotto ticket telling you.., if you win.., you may end up getting nothing) that was her facial expression..

.

hilarious but very true....this i reckon happens a lot,


your story is a familiar one in lots of ways, it was very funny at times, thanks for sharing