Not yet ready?

[Lil Ripsta]

OK this is funny as hell. I have a girl that I am interested in her and I really love her so much and would like to be with her. But the problem is... according to her she's not yet ready for a boyfriend material. I have sent one of my classmates to go and talk to her about this... you know... girl to girl talk. Here's what she said to her:

"Look I don't want to hurt him but I am not yet ready for a bf material and that we can be friends. I am not ready to be with him. I need time. See Josh (as in me) is great, fun and sweet and I don't wanna hurt him but I'm just not ready for a bf...

I mean there's nothing wrong with him but I can't force myself to go and be with someone and I just am not ready... I'm sorry..."

Then my friend told her that it's okay she understands and don't worry. She (the girl I'm in love with) even said to my friend if I have asked about this tell him that he's wonderful but I'm just not ready.

So what is this all about ladies? Is she trying to find a way to let me down and forget about my love for her? Or she doesn't want me and that she wants to be with someone else? Or she wants us just as friends and no more than that? Please tell me exactly. There's just one thing that I would like to know. It's whether she truly loves me or not. That's all I just wanna know 'cause I can wait for her until she's ready... anytime, anywhere.

[vashti]

Having a boyfriend is a lot of responsibility when you are 16-ish. They are very distracting with regards to school, interfere with other interpersonal relationships, and introduce a lot of sexual pressure that can be very overwhelming. For this reason, I don't blame girls that avoid high school romances, in fact, I think they are smart. Additionally, her parents - if they are anything like me - might be encouraging her to avoid romantic entanglements.

[Ellynn]

Plain and simple...shes not ready! So, don't push it... Maybe eventually she will be, but keep your options open to someone who is ready for a relationship....


And like Vashti said, it probably has alot to do with her age...

[Lil Ripsta]

Hehehe I just won't stay away from her or go for another girl just because she ain't ready yet lol.

Yeah I think something has to do with her age too because she is now 14 years old and I'm 16. So I'm older than her for 2 years and a few months which is alright I think, don't you think too?

[vashti]

Well, more importantly, what to her PARENTS think of the age difference? They are in a better position to be able to judge her maturity level.

However, I would NOT let my daughter date a 16 year old. (She is 13.) In fact, no dating at all until she is probably 16.

[King Zarathu]

You are one of those parents that wouldn't let one of your kids date?

.....

[Lil Ripsta]

Well, more importantly, what to her PARENTS think of the age difference? They are in a better position to be able to judge her maturity level.

However, I would NOT let my daughter date a 16 year old. (She is 13.) In fact, no dating at all until she is probably 16.

Do they really have to know whether their daughter is dating with someone or not? I guess not, they don't really need to know everything about her daughter, just not even her secrets.

[Ellynn]

Well, more importantly, what to her PARENTS think of the age difference? They are in a better position to be able to judge her maturity level.

However, I would NOT let my daughter date a 16 year old. (She is 13.) In fact, no dating at all until she is probably 16.

Hey, I agree with this... I wasn't allowed to have a bf until I was 16. And IM glad...! (I was upset at the time but now looking back I know why my parents insisted I wait until I was that age)
I mean some of my friends were dating and having sex at 14 and 15 and ended up being parents by the time they were 17-18. Too much pressure and everyone else seemed to be doing it.....and they just weren't mature enough to handle the consequences at the time(even though they kinda had to) and missed out on ALOT while I was having fun, had freedom, etc..
.... I mean being in middle school and high school is supposed to be fun, not worrying about if you have an STD or if your pregnant...! But more and more its happening...

I'ms sorry but at 14.......she has some growing up to do first and PLENTY of time before getting involved with someone... Let her at least do that before making any moves on her.

[bluesummer]

Zarathu - I am also one of those people who would not let their kids date until a certain age. And there's nothing wrong with that. Kids don't seem to understand that dating is a distraction they don't need at 13, 14, 15. Like Vashti said, it also exposes them to sexual pressures which they don't need to be faced with so young, especially girls. I don't think they are losing anything by waiting until 16 to date. All my friends (only the girls....) who started dating so early wish they hadn't - so I take my cue from that.

LilRipsta - If you really 'love' this girl, I suggest you respect her wishes and do not try to pressure or coerce her into dating you. (If you can do that, my next guess is you'll eventually start pressuring her for sex too, lord.) Also, don't try to get her to do anything behind her parents backs, that is not only disrespecting her, but her parents too - it sounds like you only have your best interests in mind, and not the girl's. You don't really 'love' her if you aren't putting her first. No means no, kiddo.

God, now I understand why my parents wanted me to wait to date.

[vashti]

Do they really have to know whether their daughter is dating with someone or not? I guess not, they don't really need to know everything about her daughter, just not even her secrets.

Are you suggesting she LIE to her parents? Boys like you are exactly the reason my daughter is not allowed to date until she is 16. I am not interested in raising a psychologically damaged future teenage mother.

[King Zarathu]

Yeah okay...

[Pins]

Uhm, there's no secret code here, Josh. She's not ready to have a bf yet!

It sounds like this girl has got a good head on her shoulders, is in touch with her feelings, and is brave enough to tell the truth.

If you "love" her so much, you'll be patient with her until she's ready to date you.

Don't convince yourself that you can coerce her into dating you either. Because love doesn't coerce anyone, and she'll see right through it.

[DizzleBizzle]

OW DO U SNOG A GIRL ITS MY FIRST TIME AND Im 12 AND I DONT NO HOW

[Lil Ripsta]

First of all, she is NOT 13 years old. Right now she is 14 and will turn to 15 in about 6 months you see.

Ellynn: so you are saying I'm gonna love, be with her and date the girl just to have sex with her? Hahahaha nawh you got it all wrong. Besides sex is my last thing on my mind and believe me I would never do that with a girlfriend. I won't love and date a girl just to have sex with her. I can just do that with some other whores but not a girlfriend.

bluesummer: I can understand that the girl ain't ready yet for a relationship and I can wait and wait anytime for her even if I die but as long as she will love and be with me later you know. What I'm saying is, I'm afraid that she will go for another guy or love/like someone else who she is interested in when she said "I'm not yet ready". If I know whether she WILL be willing to love and be with me in a later time, then I guess I'm fine with that and so I'll be willing to wait for her until she is all ready for it. =)

vashti: I have never said anything like that and I'm not trying to make her a bad girl just to go and lie to her parents so she can just date with me. Hehehe no.

Pins: Yeah I know she's saying the truth and all. That's good about her. I will be patient for her no matter what but as long she will be together with me and loves me later on.

[Lil Ripsta]

Also I have been thinking like this. When she has finally turned 15 and moved to grade 10, how about I ask her for a date and probably ask "the question" (you know) to her? I think 15 is just good.