A Love Worth Waiting 4 ?

[desperate4her]

I'm a 39 yr.old man in "somewhere" Michigan. (single, never married) for reasons I believe to be meant/planned...In His Infinate Wisdom!

As of a couple of years ago I was reaqquainted with an old friend from way back. Someone I used to date when I was 18. We'll call her ME! As that is how she signs all her notes to me.

I had attended a small gathering at my sisters house one evening on the premice that she had gotten with ME and that "she" would love to see me again. I understood that she was and had been married for some 10 years now and had 2 children. Excitedly, I got a shower and cleaned up, shaved and cologne, the hair thing, all of that...you know! Then on my way out the door I suddenly stopped! Struck by some sense of concious I had LONG forgotten that I had posessed. I had to ask myself..."What are you doing?" "She's a married woman!" I then retreated to my dining room to sit down and indulge in a couple of brews and a re-assessment of my own desires.

After an hour of hashing it out with myself...I went on to the gathering.
Walking in the door, calm, sure and my head "straight". I went and said hello to my sis (hug, kiss) "hi!" "How ya doing?"...." hey Lou!" to the bro in law...greets to all, and so on.

From behind me came a voice that was like a familiar song...calming, soft, sweet as ever, and oh so gentle. "Hey you?" Turning to see, I froze! She was and is as beautiful as ever. I could hardly believe it, almost twenty years had passed and I still melted at the mere presence of her! Choking for the words, I say..."Oh my God!" "Look at you! you haven't changed a bit!" Still frozen, feet firmly planted, she moves toward me, all eyes on the two of us....she says "c'mere and give me a hug!".....and....with an overwhelming desire to scoop her up...I just hugged her, gently like an old friend, with a pat on the back. "It's good to see you" I said. "It's GOOD to see you" "Look at you! Oh my God!", says ME. Waiting to be introduced to the husband, I realise he is not there. So, I inquire, only to find that he decided to stay home with the kids. Phew! Glad thats over with.(thinking to myself) I recompose, and off to the patio to visit.

Later that evening we get a Uechre game going and the usual idle chit chat. When ME asks what I do for a living. Explaining the responsibilitys and nature of my job, she suggests that she could use such services in her home.I went on to explain some things and said "Let me know?" "Okay" says ME, "I'll do that".

A couple of month's later my sister calls and says " ME would like to call you about doing an estimate?" "Is it okay to give her your number?" "Sure" I said. When the call came thru, We arranged to meet at the house to discuss the work to be done. Upon arriving to the house, ME greeted me with a hug? Not like the one before...somehow different, eyes brite, smiling, content it seemed. Prior to arrival we discussed our mutual interest in music and I offered to help with a problem with her guitar. So, once inside, over cofee(ME) and pop(me), we discussed the repairs...and then on to conversation...and then to restringing her guitar.

After tuning the guitar she asked me to play for her...and so,.....I did.Then after explaining a few things about tuning and using a digital tuner, I was off. On my way out, I said ..."let me know about the repairs ", we hugged, she walked me out to the porch, to see me off.

Not less than a mile down the road I had to shake off the feeling that had come over me in the past three hours....or try, should I say.(smiling)
Now mind you, this is where it gets sticky! I could have and maybe should have left well enough alone.....but,....I did not. I immediately called her, not even five minutes down the road! When she answered, I said "Hi.", softley, nervousley, and proceeded to explain. " I may be way out of line here, and if so I am sorry, but I have to ask you something................", pause........."Yes?....What?" she asked. "Uhhhh...well, (sigh)...No, Maybe I shouldn't", "Okay" she says....pause......"What is it?" she askes, again I sigh, I'm not sure if I should, but, ..."Go ahead" she replies, "Well,..OK...here goes", "I'm sitting here not two miles down the road from your house and, I just gotta ask, ..."Uhh..Okay?"...Was it me or was there something going on there?" "I mean, something ......More?" Nervously, she replies "uhhh,..yea,...I think, ...Maybe?" And we're off!...............


So first, let me say that ME is a very devought(*sp) Catholic and an extremely spiritual person. She has strong family values and a good sense of commitment to them! Her vows and beliefs are of the utmost importance to her. Selfless is she and driven by her faith, in everything she does. She obtains great people skills and is always thinking of others and willing to help in anyway she can. Honestly, I do believe that God broke the mold when he made this woman! And there inlies the problem.......

Over time, ME and I have sat for literally hours on the phone, the computer, and yes even together(Morally only), talking....without pause, break or boredom......talking!! Anything, everything, God, Love, Life, Happiness, then, now, "what if's", literally everything! And,... she has discovered, that she did not marry her best friend, that ...I am that friend. In the opinion of both, never have we ever felt such a bond in life before, never could two people be so right for each other, never could we have imagined such things were possible, for two to be so much in love, so selflessly, so pure, so true! So ....what to do? She will never split up her family or seperate her children from thier father for her own gains and nor would I have her (the same) if she did, or her...me. However, if he were unfaithfull or abusive or EXTREMELY unattentive....then yes! And then we could be together. I have the utmost respect for this woman and I tell you I cannot and won't interfere with her life in any way, but yet, I feel somehow I am....We both set boundarys in this situation, that niether can adhere to, and so "It" goes on and on and on.....and I have assured her that I will wait. And yes, even if that means forever or never.


So my question here is....Can anyone relate? Do you think I'm crazy? Can a fate of this nature hold true? Would this be considered a "Love,...Devine"? DOES ANYONE REALLY KNOW?......PLEASE respond!!

Thank You,
ME & me

[MouseKookie]

Tsk tsk tsk. You and I are one of a kind. Only, im 20 yrs old. I feel you and i mean it. My story is starting out like yours, and the forcast looks like yours too. If you appriciate her, then let her go. try to hate her. try not to think of her, try to forget about her. but i know all that wont happen!!!! I'm not planning on waiting for my girl to ever return to me. how stuff is happening right now, it looks like she still has feelings about me. i'll take her back if i dont have a new girlfreind by then. depending on how you 2 broke up, it feels like she back stabbed me and how i think of her will not be the same as before.

[poisoncell]

my bf is not a christian.. shd I wait for him to become a christain one day By MIRACLE purposes?or just get on with life?

[KRISTI S]

I can definately relate. Hopefully it will all work out in the end like mine is now. I have a friend who I have known since he was 5 or 6. We were very close until I changed schools. My brother was friends with him so I did see him every now and then, but never really paid attention to him until I moved back to where I grew and he was working for my Dad (still is) I had been married for 5 years and had a child. My husband was not being very nice I turned to my friend to talk. This went on for a very long time and we found ourselves having feelings for each other. Well hubby found out and we had to stop talking. We moved back to town. Now, 7 years later, hubby has moved in with the girlfriend and left me to look for love. I didn't have to go far. We started talking again and found out all of the same feelings were always there. We are now talking about the future but trying to not move too fast. I have found my true soulmate, and it was worth the wait let me tell you!! Good luck and don't give up. Everything happens for a reason. I really believe that now.

[Only-virgins]

my bf is not a christian.. shd I wait for him to become a christain one day By MIRACLE purposes?or just get on with life?

or accept that he is not a christian?

[COAD]

Becareful man, You know how easily you can break that family apart. Youll feel bad about it later....

--

or accept that he is not a christian?

OV, Its not that simple to accept - PoisonCell knows that her parents will not agree with the marriage since her Boyfriend isnt christian. There are some more reasons, but I wont go into detail.

Im in same situation, my GF isnt christian - I am and stuff with parents.....
But I love her tooooo much, so Im just gonna hope..............

[indigosoul]

You know, I read this thinking: Another one?! But not in a bad way, just finding it odd that there are so many ppl out there feeling this way. There have been a few other posts like this recently... What is going on? I don't have an answer for you (sorry) but I do think it strange that quite a few mature (your 39) individuals are going through this.

This doesn't sound like puppy love or infatuation at all. Not to have gone on for so long. And not if you two are such good friends. I don't know what to tell you though. Being with this woman in any way other than as her friend will mess up her family, esp. her children. And this is not right. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone you really love is to let them go...

I'm not much of a believer in destiny, 'true love' and all that, but I do think there is something out there that guides us in our lives. I think that if you and this lady are truly "meant" for each other, then it will happen, probably when you least expect it. But if you force it, things will go wrong.

Anyone else finding all these "true love" postings odd...?

[artyemi]

indigo, what do you find odd about these "true love" postings? the fact that so many of them are popping up now?

i don't know if I find them odd because I think that we all grow up thinking that there's a true love for us. Who knows where this idea come from... And when we meet one person that we "love," we tend to fall into this mode of thinking that that's it. We've reached the end of the road and that is the person for us because of the connection, emotions.

[Only-virgins]

OV, Its not that simple to accept - PoisonCell knows that her parents will not agree with the marriage since her Boyfriend isnt christian. There are some more reasons, but I wont go into detail.

Im in same situation, my GF isnt christian - I am and stuff with parents.....
But I love her tooooo much, so Im just gonna hope..............

Your joking right? Crap like this I thought only keeps people apart in the movies? Its a dumb ass religion...whocares...love is more important. I would show my parents the middle finger if they even a bit tried t tell me who I should be with or not....freaking bigots.

[artyemi]

well, you can't get married in a church either, can you? i know couples in which one is jewish and the other is a christian and the rabbi couldn't marry them, and the church also wouldn't.. you'd have to convert.. so they got married in their home

[snickers]

Dear Poisoncell,
I can see you situation is a hard one. You probably really like this boy and would like him to stick around for awhile because he makes you feel good inside, but on the other hand, your morals are telling you that because he's not a Christian, you shouldn't be dating him. Let me give you some advice...
The fact that he's not a Christian generally will mean that his morals will be different than yours, and his beliefs will obviously be different than yours. Since he is your boyfriend, you will be spending a lot of time with him, am i right? Therefore, because he's not a Christian, the conversations you have will not be conversations that will bring you closer to God, but rather pull you away from Him. I can tell that because you care that your boyfriend is not a Christian, you care about your relationship with God, and therefore, you want to grow closer to him, right? My advice is this: give your boyfriend a week and suggest the idea of Christianity to him. People can change, you know . He might be into the idea, and then you can both grow in your relationship with God. However, he might not go with the idea. Don't push it because you want to stay with him- that will NEVER bring him to God. Instead, simply let him know that your morals and beliefs are very important to you, and you would like to continue your relationship as just friends. In a frienship, you will have more freedom to bring him to Jesus, and if that happens, than you can consider a relationship once again. I hope my advice has been helpful to you, and please reply to me with any questions or concerns you have. I will be happy to help .
><>Sami
Proverbs 4:23

[shh!]

Wow - sorry, but your post really offended me!

The fact that he's not a Christian generally will mean that his morals will be different than yours.

Believe it or not, people who are not Christian have morals, too. And guess what? They often are the same ones YOU have.

Since he is your boyfriend, you will be spending a lot of time with him, am i right? Therefore, because he's not a Christian, the conversations you have will not be conversations that will bring you closer to God, but rather pull you away from Him.

That is one of the most narrow-minded statements I have ever read. If you really think that having discussions about the nature of God with anyone who doesn't believe as you do will "pull you away", then your version of religion must not be very strong. Some of my more significant discussions about religion have been with people who do NOT share my faith, as they help me to clarify, define and reaffirm my own beliefs.

My advice is this: give your boyfriend a week and suggest the idea of Christianity to him. People can change, you know . Don't push it because you want to stay with him- that will NEVER bring him to God. Instead, simply let him know that your morals and beliefs are very important to you, and you would like to continue your relationship as just friends. In a frienship, you will have more freedom to bring him to Jesus, and if that happens, than you can consider a relationship once again. Proverbs 4:23

Conversion by blackmail, huh? While I agree in theory that religious people ought to stick with their own kind (for practical reasons), I find attempts at blackmailing someone into converting to be a disgusting use of religion. Besides, how would you know it is a "true" conversion? If someone tried this on me, I would NEVER forgive them. Shame on you.

[whaywardj]

desperate4Her: You're breaking every Christian tenant in The Book with this woman. Especially all the "thou shalt not covet" parts. Since your're already ignoring the principles, why don't you just go ahead and toss the whole religion thing aside; barge into her affairs with all your desires; break up her family; put her through personal hell; and TAKE what you want? Be a MAN about it!

I tend to empathize with shh!, artyemi and COAD on this thread. A large odor of BS pervades in the matter you're encouraging. In my view, if you're all you say are and care all you say you do, you'd drop the whole thing, leave it alone for good, and NOT compromise those religious principles you pretend you're so concerned about; and NOT let her compromise hers.

BTW: I'm Catholic. Just got back from Mass an hour or so ago. Had I seen this thread before, I might've have prayed for you. Then again, I might've had to go to Reconciliation (Confession) instead for committing the sin of being so violently intolerant of such drivel as I've read here.