Lifelong dry spell

[FelicityJones]

Hello, perhaps you can help me with this problem. I don't get dates. I push myself to go out, dress up in fancy clothes, show some skin, and THEN sometimes I get somebody interested only in one thing, but very rarely (I am no model, and I am getting close to 40), and apart from that nobody, I mean NOBODY, asks me out. I can't even say it was better when I was 20, because back then it was even worse.
At least now I am making the effort to go out there and since some years I am much more positive and open, (used to be borderline shy), still, no dates. One thing I don't do is to ask guys out, because it never really worked, but I am encouraging, not desperate, can give hints without being pushy, can hold a conversation, feel OK with myself, so what is the matter?

Sometimes I suspect I am really ugly and that explains things, and last year I put my picture on HotorNot to get a minimum of objective response, and I had an average of 9, which is not that bad, and all my life I was told I was pretty (although no model) so I just don't understand.

Or maybe I am really boring? How to find out?

thank you

[MerryH]

So...how are you trying to meet new people? Do you just get all dolled up and go sit in a bar waiting for men to approach you? Maybe you need to try something different. Try some dating sites. Or join clubs or do volunteer work. Anything to just meet new people other than in a bar/nightclub setting. Dating sites seem like a win-win - everyone is there for the same reason.

And what's wrong with asking guys out? Or even doing the old "Here's my number, call me if you ever want to go out."

I am encouraging, not desperate, can give hints without being pushy

Maybe the "encouragement" and the hints do unintentionally come across as desperate or pushy.

[Boisdevie]

Dating websites can be brilliant - you meet people, you can talk to them for as long as you like and then you can meet them in person if you want to. And it's the year 2010 what's wrong with a woman asking a guy out. I've been asked out by woman and I don't feel that they are desperate - in fact |I find it very flattering. Good luck. If you're in the uk plentoffish is a very good site