Time to move on? Give me the nudge

[milocher]

Hi all,

First and foremost I'm new and quite thrilled a forum like this exists. Hopefully I'll find myself in a better place soon and able to give back to the community.

I guess what I'm dealing with today involves understanding the mentality that "4 years means nothing", I'm so angry and sad.

It's honestly disgusting that so often in relationships you have to play the game. Even when you're convinced she's beyond that, I was proven wrong time and time again. She dealt with a drug problem for the most part of our relationship, to anyone else who's had the sad fate of being in a relationship with those circumstances, my heart goes out to you.

In November of 2009 she left me after we got back from a trip to Mexico. She left me for a trainer at her gym.. "I just want to be alone" were her words. I tried for 6 months, to see her again and to get her back, it was only until I threw my arms up in the air and walked away that I got a phone call. Crying, apologizing, begging me to take her back. I did, I continued to be monogamous towards her despite the fact we were broken up during those months. I took her back after she had been with 3 different partners (sexually) and a lot of drug abuse later. I hated myself for taking her back, I still do. The shame and pain you feel when you take someone back in after something like that, is unbelievable.

I never did anything except support her, and respect her. A lot of the time it's not about that though (sadly). The issue I feel is that when someone drains you with their problems day after day, you don't have the energy left to invest it into yourself.

Long story short, she left me again 2 weeks ago, same line "I just want to be alone". Turns out that translates into I'm going to go sleep with the gentleman in my Philosophy class. I'm ashamed, and I know what I have to do. Confidence becomes arrogance, Passion becomes anti-purpose. Reversing these things is proving so difficult. Especially because of what I'm going to explain and the reason for this thread in the first place.

She has attempted to call me 3 times, I've ignored the calls. And on Friday I received an email from her. No subject heading, no written content in the email, just a picture, of me. What is she trying to do? What are her motives? My better judgment is telling me she's just reaching out to make sure I'm still there.

As a note, when I found out she was seeing this other guy, I let her know that I knew. Especially since I found out she was seeing this douche while we were still together. She called me crying and apologizing for everything she did, I laughed and thanked her for letting me go, this was prior to the calls/email.

Hopefully someone can decipher what she's trying to do here?

Thanks

-M

[Regnent]

I don't think there's much to decipher.

Regardless of how much time you spend with someone, there might be a point where it no longer works.

Personally, you sound like her safety net.

[reeba]

I agree with 'safety net'. You are the old comfy blanket. She thinks she sees something better, tries it out and gets dumped, then she comes crawling back to you......and you let her/condone her behaviour?

You need to grow a set and tell her to eff off. She has done this to you repeatedly and now has even cheated while you thought you were in an exclusive relationship. She is not going to change. And why should she. You let her get away with it.