Should I give up on this girl and move on?

[kabobra]

Winning a female co worker over

So this is what happened in a nut shell...she used to drop lines to me about how she misses me and your so funny. This was about 2 months ago. I always have been hesitant on starting relationships with co workers but this girl I couldn't resist. So I started to form feelings towards her. She asked me out for drinks with other co workers and we had a great time. About a month ago her father passed away and I attended the funeral to support her. The next time she saw me she gave me the most wonderful hug I've ever had. I didn't want to express my true feelings until some time went by after the passing of her father. I did end up asking her out for coffee and she had family plans and said maybe another time. This was two weeks ago. So we continued to flirt, she made a little heart gesture with her hands and she was giving off a lot of intense body language. She even seemed jealous when I was talking with other females. So I got up the nerve to ask her out again tonight by a text and she replied with "I will go out for coffee as friends for sure but I have been seeing someone for almost a month and I don't think he'd like if it was a date . I am honestly so confused. I know that I need to accept it and move on. I am going to be a good man and be her friend. Is there anyway that I can win her over? I honestly felt like we were soulmates. Even today she still mirrors by body language and seemed like she's interested. I honestly dont understand why she never mentioned anything about a boyfriend the first time I asked her for a coffee. I replied by saying I got ya, he's a lucky man. I am in my late 20's and I have only had 1 girlfriend in my entire life. This always happens to me, and then I shut down for months on end.

[MerryH]

I am going to be a good man and be her friend.

Why? You don't want to be her friend. You want to date her. Don't disguise yourself as her good pal. You've got motives there. That's not really an honest friendship.

Is there anyway that I can win her over?

No. She's dating someone else and gave you a good, solid rejection on top of that. That means you need to stop trying.

Even today she still mirrors by body language and seemed like she's interested.

You're reading it wrong.

I honestly dont understand why she never mentioned anything about a boyfriend the first time I asked her for a coffee.

Well, she doesn't really have an obligation to tell you her personal business. And things with this other guy might have gotten more serious since then.

This always happens to me, and then I shut down for months on end.

Then you're putting way too much importance on girls you're interested in. Stop fixating on one girl and waiting weeks/months/years to make a move on her. Don't fixate, and ask lots of girls out on dates as soon as you feel something for them. Even if you don't feel anything for some girls, ask them out on dates, anyway. Just get some practice approaching/interacting with girls. Also, start flirting. A lot. With everyone.

[KelE]

I was reading your post. I think you should give up and try to meet someone that is mutually interested in you. If someone really wants to go out with you they won't say they have a boyfriend when you ask them out. Also some people are flirtatious and need attention even when they know they are leading someone on. I think some women don't realize guys have crushes on them, we should be more observant. Anyway, I have been on both sides of this equation and as the person that had the crush but then got clues along the way that the person was not in to me, always wish I would have moved on faster. Wasting time is the worst. Having friends is great though but I have more respect for letting people know where you stand so everyone is on the same page. Good Luck!

[Somebody5]

Yeeeeap! you should....