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Thread: How to get back with ex- due to long distance

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    How to get back with ex- due to long distance

    Anybody in a long distance relationship and success to make it work after break up? please share your experience and advice.

    My ex and I broke up and this caused me alot of pain since three months ago. Im devastated, I love him so much. We're in a long distance relationship and I miss him so much even after the break up.

    I believe the distance changed his feeling, I did the begging and stuffs and it doesnt work, I wonder how and what should I do to get him back due to this distance. Advice please!

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    The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?

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    Axis, when one wants to get back with the ex, the first thing they must do is fix the underlying problem which caused the breakup in the first place. Unless the problem is fixed, the relationship will never last.

    In your case, the problem which must be solved is distance. If you moved to where he is, would he reconsider? And if you're serious about getting him back, don't give me any excuses as to why you can't move. You need to show him that he's your #1 priority in life.

    That being said, it's also entirely likely that he's found someone else. Doing the long distance thing leaves so many of a person's needs unmet. It wouldn't be at all surprising if he's found a local girl who fills all his needs.

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    I think you should move on. You said you did all stuff to get him back especially begging, but it doesn't work. Don't beg for love honey.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX View Post
    The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?
    We were separated cause of our job, tried to find a job in the same area/country but no succeed. Then we decided to do the long distance as it is, suddenly he pulled away and he said his feeling changed. We were scheduled to meet again but he broke up with me 2 months before. I dont have so much money to go to him right now, he is in another side of the world! Im so devastated.. I mis him deeply.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX View Post
    The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?
    We were separated cause of our job, tried to find a job in the same area/country but no succeed. Then we decided to do the long distance as it is, suddenly he pulled away and he said his feeling changed. We were scheduled to meet again but he broke up with me 2 months before. I dont have so much money to go to him right now, he is in another side of the world! Im so devastated.. I mis him deeply.

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Axis, when one wants to get back with the ex, the first thing they must do is fix the underlying problem which caused the breakup in the first place. Unless the problem is fixed, the relationship will never last.

    In your case, the problem which must be solved is distance. If you moved to where he is, would he reconsider? And if you're serious about getting him back, don't give me any excuses as to why you can't move. You need to show him that he's your #1 priority in life.

    That being said, it's also entirely likely that he's found someone else. Doing the long distance thing leaves so many of a person's needs unmet. It wouldn't be at all surprising if he's found a local girl who fills all his needs.
    Its really not easy to just move to his place, he is in england and im in asia. I do want to move if there is a way. The only thing for us to be together is married and with our financial issue right now is not possible for us to do it right now. I cant let him go, I do want to us to be together but how???? I cry every single day, why this have to happen to me. I love him so much and I cant let go

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    In that case, I suggest you start thinking about him instead of yourself. It's terribly selfish to ask him to do a long distance thing when it clearly doesn't meet his needs. Would you really choose to tether him to yourself when you can't even be there in person for him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    In that case, I suggest you start thinking about him instead of yourself. It's terribly selfish to ask him to do a long distance thing when it clearly doesn't meet his needs. Would you really choose to tether him to yourself when you can't even be there in person for him?
    Before we did the LDR, I told him we should consider it because it will be hard and we should break up and he strongly said NO. He convinced me of future together (married, having kids) from there I started to fall deep for him and was really happy with his commitment. But now when I really fall so deeply in love with him, he cut me off and tell me his feelings changed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Axis View Post
    Before we did the LDR, I told him we should consider it because it will be hard and we should break up and he strongly said NO. He convinced me of future together (married, having kids) from there I started to fall deep for him and was really happy with his commitment. But now when I really fall so deeply in love with him, he cut me off and tell me his feelings changed.
    Yes, well feelings aren't set in stone. And while we can guess how we may feel or react in a given situation, we don't really know how we'll feel until it actually happens.

    He thought he could do it, but it's turned out that he can't. End of story.

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Yes, well feelings aren't set in stone. And while we can guess how we may feel or react in a given situation, we don't really know how we'll feel until it actually happens.

    He thought he could do it, but it's turned out that he can't. End of story.
    How could someone throw away things just like that? how to make it work again? please dont tell me to just move on and let go. Im really in a deep lost and I love him SO much! I believe he is the love of my life and my only hope for the future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Axis View Post
    How could someone throw away things just like that? how to make it work again? please dont tell me to just move on and let go. Im really in a deep lost and I love him SO much! I believe he is the love of my life and my only hope for the future.
    does he love you the way you love him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeany View Post
    does he love you the way you love him?
    he was so crazy in love with me, at the beginning of our relationship i wasnt sure about my feeling for him but he convinced me with his love and commitment and I fall in love so deep eventually. Now he said his feelings changed.. its sad.. really sad that I fall so deeply in love with him now when he left me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Axis View Post
    he was so crazy in love with me, at the beginning of our relationship i wasnt sure about my feeling for him but he convinced me with his love and commitment and I fall in love so deep eventually. Now he said his feelings changed.. its sad.. really sad that I fall so deeply in love with him now when he left me.
    sometimes guys do and say everything just to get what they want, as you said clearly his feelings changed so deal with it, there's nothing you ca do. You might be more better without him in your life. Find someone else who's worth it. I know its hard to move on at first but in time you'll see that you are more stronger.

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    I wish I can.. this weekend is his birthday, should I send him greetings? how wonderful last year we were together on his birthday never thought our relationship will end this way! SAD

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