keep it simple

**valhensing** · 25-11-09, 12:47 PM

Why complicate your life? Why rely on emotion when it's some unreasonable and could change at any minute? Why are you guys in love at all? (i'm asking for the reason.. for my information only, not to flame anybody...)

Can anyone tell me what love is? (i know, old question. Looking for someone who has exprienced in love and life for an honest answer for my own personal development) i honestly dont know...

**flea** · 25-11-09, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by valhensing

Can anyone tell me what love is?

I'm not sure but if you find out, can you tell the dude from Foreigner so we can stop that goddamn song!

**valhensing** · 25-11-09, 02:14 PM

when do i know what love is? (not asking when i'll be experiencing love, just know what it is) - i know there isnt any answer to it, is it?

**IndiReloaded** · 25-11-09, 02:19 PM

Do you listen to music? Or enjoy looking at art? Those aren't logical either, but there is still value.

Not to everyone tho. Its the same for love.

As for the feeling of love, there is a perfectly logical biological explanation. The feelings from the hormone rush drives one to reproduce. Or the act of.

**valhensing** · 25-11-09, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Do you listen to music? Or enjoy looking at art? Those aren't logical either, but there is still value..

-> i dont listen to music that much, totally no clue when it comes to art

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

As for the feeling of love, there is a perfectly logical biological explanation. The feelings from the hormone rush drives one to reproduce. Or the act of.

-> i thought it's call having a crush... Is that what they mean when they say "i'm so love"/"i love him/her" => all due to hormone? Isnt hormone pass away quickly? Are we depending on hormone now for love?

**flea** · 25-11-09, 04:21 PM

love is like cumming.....only YOU know when it's happening for sure. don't sweat it too much though, it'll happen when it happens.

**IndiReloaded** · 26-11-09, 12:30 PM

There are different hormones for short-term 'love' and longterm attachment, tho many people say its the same thing. Flavours of love? Dunno.

**starbuck** · 26-11-09, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by valhensing

Why are you guys in love at all? (i'm asking for the reason.. for my information only, not to flame anybody...)

I'm in love because the person I fell for is an adorable, respectable, and brilliant human being. Add in loads of sexual compatibility and a similar outlook on life and you have a pretty air-tight relationship.

Love is only complicated if you think it is.

**valhensing** · 26-11-09, 03:03 PM

i dont think love is complicated. If it's love, it shouldnt be complicated and if it's complicated, it isnt love. But i think it's too much of a hassle (all your trouble + the other person's trouble) so why people are in love?

**flea** · 26-11-09, 05:12 PM

in some cases a little trouble can cement a love and make it stronger. love isn't all hearts and flowers, sometimes it's hard work. don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

**girl68** · 27-11-09, 03:36 AM

The short answer to "why are people in love?" because the benefits outweigh all the negatives that you list.

What is love? Well each person will have a different answer. My answer is: it is a feeling that consumes you, it is an action that compells you to do grand, and not so grand things all in favor of this feeling.

How does one know they are in love? Age old answer: "you just know". I like the comparison to cumming, only YOU know.

**mrtdg82** · 27-11-09, 05:12 AM

Does love exist?

Not really... its one of those things that has no real definition yet the whole world is obsessed with.

Blame music, films, television as they are what have hyped it to be what it actually isnt. In doing this they have heightened the expectations of many a young person. This has then caused many people to run foolishly into a relationship and then pretend its something it isnt.

I have noticed it more as i have got older. I am now 27 years old and have had several relationships, some long some short. But all around me i see people so desperate to be loved that once they find someone (and by saying that i mean anyone) they seem to go through the relationship process at a rate of knotts. Within 2 years they will be at least engaged or in many cases as i have noticed, expecting there first child. Is this love? This is more like a desperation not to grow old alone and a persons desire for attachment, commitment and to be 'loved'.

The majority of this comes from the childhood and having a father or mother figure to look after you however when you look at the basic animal instinct, the males desire is to have sex and the females to find an ideal mate to father their children. Its only societys expectations that has developed through time and a mix of other emotions that create this 'love' feeling.

I for one keep it simply like this... what does a relationship offer you that a best friend cant? The answer is always intimacy which then brings us back to the whole animal instinct thing.

**girl68** · 27-11-09, 05:18 AM

You fail to make a distcintion between "in love" and "love". My bestfriends can "love" me and I can "love" them back. But not a single bestfriend could ever provide or show or allow me to show a feeling of "in love".

Yes, some people are desperate to be loved, but many just desire the feeling of being loved, what's wrong with that!? I believe it makes *some* people better people. I think that it can bring happiness in places that were previously grim. Am I living in a fairytale land? No, I don't think so.

**flea** · 27-11-09, 05:25 AM

not true.

intimacy isn't restricted to physical acts. there are things I will sit down and talk to my SO about that I would never tell a friend in a million years. we all have our (for lack of a better term) weaker sides that we only let someone very special see, because they will bolster you and pick you up when you need it. this kind of thing is the bedrock of love, it's core. sure sex is great, and crucial to a loving relationship, but you've way over-simplified the phenomena.

no, love is not something you can see, or touch...but neither are farts, and they exist!

did I just use a fart as a metaphor for love? doh! you know what I mean...

*edit* sorry girl, you posted while I was typing. my comment was meant for mrtdg82

**mrtdg82** · 27-11-09, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

You fail to make a distcintion between "in love" and "love". My bestfriends can "love" me and I can "love" them back. But not a single bestfriend could ever provide or show or allow me to show a feeling of "in love".

Yes, some people are desperate to be loved, but many just desire the feeling of being loved, what's wrong with that!? I believe it makes *some* people better people. I think that it can bring happiness in places that were previously grim. Am I living in a fairytale land? No, I don't think so.

Very interesting point. Im not saying that 'love' is a bad thing because its what essentially makes people tick. However the feeling of being 'in love' is far more complicated and is down to a lot of psycological behaviour created by the persons upbringing and effects of society then a natural emotion.

And flea what you mention is about a deep level of trust that certainly is not impossible to find with a best friend.

Not flaming by the way, just debating... its all about opinions

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