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Thread: Going crazy in need of help~!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    13

    Going crazy in need of help~!!!

    Hi,

    I know I shouldn't do it but I have no other choice.
    I completely lost my mind about this one girl.
    I have visited on foreign country couple of weeks ago to have some biz meetings.
    During my stay there I met one girl. I had one meeting with her, and on my last night during this trip I went for a party with her. Since there wasn't much to do during that evening I gave her a lift and I went back to my hotel.
    Nothing happened and I was really not interested in her.
    After I have returned to my office, couple of days later I started to think about her. I don't know why and I can not explain it.
    We have exchange couple of email, but that was nothing special.
    The distance between the cities we live in is about 600 miles (1000 km). We have the same nationality thought she lives abroad for about 9 years now and she speaks local language. There is a 3 years difference between us.
    She is still studying but right now she wants to quit university and do something more interesting.

    So I have planned my holidays there and in three weeks time (counting from that biz trip) I went back to that city. I was hoping to meet her again and to spend some time with her. On the first day we met but she had no time for me because she went shopping. She told me that her family from USA is coming and that she needs to hel her mom in preparing for that visit.
    In order not to loose time I have planned couple of biz meetings cause there was no chance seeing her at least for 4-5 days. Unfortunately I went to a different city and I have lost an occasion of meeting her and her family on trip to one of the tourist resorts (they invited me but I was in Italy for 5 days for biz meetings).
    During the (almost) three weeks of my holidays I have met her 3 times. The second time was on a small bbq party, where she offered me a meeting the next day.
    During this bbq she talked a lot about herself and... and here she really confused me, about her ex-boyfriends and about the men she have met on the parties. About her ex, she did not talk about their relationships and how wonderful they were. It was more like.. "my ex visited South Africa" or I can really trust my ex.
    We have met the next day and I have to say I have planned a really romantic evening. First we went to drink some wine and to talk. I brought her a very nice bouquet of flowers. Later we were to go for a party or to meet her friends (among them her ex).
    After drinking a bit we were driving to the city centre and all of a sudden she wasn't feeling very well. I had to drive her home. She apologized and we said good night. No hugging, no kissing nothing! I was home at 11 o’clock
    The next morning she send me a SMS saying thank you for nice evening and "I am sorry".

    Even thought there is a big distance I would like to try to fight for her cause I am really hoping that it could work out.
    I just don't know how to interpret the thing with talking about ex and about that last evening. I hope that she is not treating me as a friend who would listen to all her problems. Maybe she was trying to tell me attractive she is and how many men are interested in her.

    If anyone of you could help I would be very grateful. Lately I can not think properly about that whole situation. Shall go an visit her or leave it as it is.

    Thanks a lot!
    Ciao,
    Ted.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,179
    Not a good idea to post in two locations:

    [url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/32893-what-would-you-do.html[/url]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    13
    I know I am sorry I thought that it wasn't published!! It's my first time here and I couldn't find my post so I thought that I have to try to do it for the second time. Is there any way of removint the second one?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,179
    I think the moderators can remove it for you. No worries...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,236
    Not a good idea to go for a girl who starts talking about her ex boyfriends. That usually means that she is not totally over them.

    I don't think you're going crazy over her. You're infatuated with her, not in love, so try not to come on too strong with her.

    At this point, keep your options open. You will meet other women.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1,696
    Lets look at the pros and cons, Ziabra ...

    Pros:
    You're infatuated with her.

    Cons:
    She has an active emotional (at least) attachment to her ex
    She doesn't seem all that into you romantically
    She's 600 miles (!!!) away
    When your infatuation wears off, you're not really that much into her physically.

    Save a lot of heartache and a lot of money ... pass on this one.

    Carl.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    13
    Well. I guess you are all right. But this is something more than just a 'fatal attraction'. So it is not going to be that easy to forget about her completely. I guess I have to calm down a bit before I do anything... I will see if she is going to write to me.
    About money I am not so worried, I can go and visit her every two weeks since we have a branch in that country and I can always go for a biz trip. I will just have to spend some extra time in the office.

    The one point you have made is defiantly right. She is still under influence of her ex. But I guess that I can fight with that... but and here comes another problem they are there and I am 600 miles away...

    Man, I am really fed up with that situation and with me not being able to make any proper and wise decision.

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