I've made a huge mistake, please help!!

[CollegeGirl]

Hello everyone! I've been having some serious problems with my boyfriend of the past 8 years and any advice you could give me would really be appreciated. I am currently in college and have been trying to make a long distance relationship work for the past few years now, but it's really hard. We are both really busy and we hardly ever get to see each other. We dated off and on all throughout high school and were both sure when we graduated that we would spend the rest of our lives together. However, when I got to college and all my friends started getting boyfriends here it made our long distance relationship even tougher so I called it off for awhile because I wanted to date other people. This was a big mistake. We've broken up many times throughout our relationship so I just assumed we would get back together like we always do. I was wrong. I've dated other guys before while we were broken up and it was never a big deal. This guy has always been really good to me and I was lucky to have such a great guy in my life. Now I really regret breaking up with him in the first place. When I tried to talk to him about getting back together he told me that he still loved me but that he was not in love with me anymore and that I had just hurt him too much this time. He said that if I wanted to get him back that I would have to prove to him that this time I would take better care of his heart. I've been trying to text him and call him with hopes that we can work this out but he never has time to talk to me anymore. I know he's been busy with work and school but he's always found time for me in the past. He's really been a jerk this week, and although I know I probably deserve it, it makes trying to winning him back hard. For the first time since we have been together I feel like he might really be ready to move on. I know I have made a mistake and I really just want him back in my life, for good this time. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated

[Ric]

First, not probably, you do deserve it. You can't just toy around with a guy just because you think he'll always be available and ready for you. Let that be your first lesson.

He is hurt, and angry, and disappointed. He needs time to work through his emotions. After that, all you can do is be a friend again and let him fall for you again. Will that work? Only time will tell. If he is ready to move on, then there's nothing you can do.

[JadenMia]

Yeah, what you did was so hurtful!!

Do you really love him? Maybe.. But i know that i would never leave someone who i loved to be with other guys. It just doesnt make sense, when you know just how much you would have hurt him. What if it wa the other way round? If he just dropped you because he wanted to see other girls. Would you forgive him? I know i wouldnt forgive you.

Anyway, if you think you really did make a mistake, you know you wont be tempted to just drop him again and that you know you love him (not just because he was trying to move on and forget about you, therefore being less available to you whenever you please..) Then just be there for him. Let him know everything you feel and then just leave him alone to make his decision and just let him know you are there when he needs you. Thats probably the best thiing you could do now.

[jb1111983]

He's hurt obviously. I would be if I was in his place. And I would seriously consider never getting back with you again even if you are the love of my life. You shouldn't have done that if you really loved him. This girl I'm in love with has a thing for another guy who once she went out with for some drinks. I don't mind her hanging out with her male friends who I trust but this guy always had a crush on her. I hated the fact that she further encouraged him by going out with him. If she wants him fine but she must not expect me to be around for her. I started avoiding her until she came and talked to me. I told her she shouldn't have done that! She doesn't see him anymore. It's she and me again. And I love her.
To me it seems he still loves you and that you still have a good chance to get back with him. If you are sure you really love him and won't leave him for some other guy again you must earn his trust back. This will take time. He's been hurt before and wouldn't want to trust you easily. Show him you care. Keep yourself available for him. And he'll get back to you when he feels he can trust you again. I don't think he's given up on you yet. He's just not sure he can trust you.

But if you're not sure you love or like him above every other guy please leave the poor guy alone. He will learn to do without you and in time will find someone.

[Bonfire]

You should watch the movie Last Kiss starring Zach Braff. The main character made a huge mistake and watch how he earns forgiveness. I know it's only a movie but sorta applies to your situation.

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you all so much for your advice! I really appreciate your comments.

I know that what I have done is wrong, and I feel awful about it. I wish there was some way that I could take it back. If he does decide to give me another chance, I will never do anything like this to hurt him again. I really do love him. Thanks again for all your replies, I plan on taking your advice and giving him some space and hopefully I will be able to gradually earn his trust back.

[CollegeGirl]

I'm proud everything worked out with you and your girlfriend! Maybe she didn't know that her hanging out with him would bother you. It sounds like she loves you too

[Yet another guy]

Wow, you have already broken up with him several times to date other guys. It's a wonder he has stuck with you for 8 years Maybe he finally found some self respect.

[jb1111983]

I'm sure you will not repeat your past mistake if things work out again. Will hope for the best for you both. Good luck!

[Incognito]

I think that it is really worth mentioning that if your ex boyfriend keeps on being a jerk that you just move on yourself. What you did was way wrong, and you seem to understand that, but taking perpetual punishment to atone will not lead to actual atonement. It will only lead to him losing respect for you because he sees that you are being a door mat. Only he knows what his true feelings are, but if I started being a jerk for a week or two it would be because I don't feel anything for her and I am simply having fun punishing her until she stopped contacting me.

Don't let your trying to prove yourself turn into taking abuse.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a dumb bitch. Leave the poor guy alone and let him move on. Start moving on yourself.

[random bundy]

Honestly, the guy is an idiot if he ever gets back with you again. If you loved him you would never break up in the first place. It's time for you too to move on and grow up and find out what love really is about.

[bcgirl]

you probably always thought you had the upper hand in the relationship of 8 years. You had him wrapped around your finger and whenever you broke up with him in the past....you knew he'd always be waiting by the corner for you when you want to get back together with him. Thank goodness this time he is taking a stand. Now you can really understand the meaning of "never take things for granted". I sure hope he won't take you back.