my first love dating my beste friend :(

[aly]

Hi everyone

I'm stuck with a broken heart and a knife in my back..
I found out my best friend is having a relationship with my first love.
This has been going on for more than two months now.
She didn't have the guts to tell me, I found out through a guy we both know.
I've talked to her about it. And she knows how much this would kill me, so she couldn't tell me.
She blames it all on him, that he pushed her to try this.
She even says that she doesn't know if this is going to last and that they already had a small break-up during the first month.

She also said it worries her that he still wears the ring the he and I bought when we were a couple, and that he got mad when she replaced one of the teddybears I gave him.
I don't understand her reaction. She doesn't sound like a woman who's in love.
Is that worth risking our friendschip for if it sounds to me she's just trying this out?

And for him :
He said on the phone he wouldn't be happy about me dating his best friend either. To be honest, he has always stayed jealous. He thought it was my duty to keep him up to date about my love life, but he can do this to me??Don't get that at all!

I don't know what to do, or how te react to this.
It kills me inside to know that they're together.
Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

[anachronistic]

i was betrayed by my lover also.. she turned into a ditz, started hanging around a bad group of people, and she lost her best friend because of it.. heh heh, she kinda has a thing for me, she hugged me right infront of my ex the other night at a pool party.

well if you were a guy i could tell you 'no guy lets a girl get between he and his friends' but i am not sure what women are like. sorry for your misfortunes... but you'll have the high end of the seesaw someday.

[Gigabitch]

Is that worth risking our friendschip for if it sounds to me she's just trying this out?

Actually, you're lucky she showed you this now, instead of later in life. It could have been your husband.

Aren't you glad you know?

[aly]

I don't understand your reply? What should I be glad about? That she knew I still cared a lot about him, that this would break my heart and she still went on and did this without telling me?

[Gigabitch]

Ignorance is bliss, huh?

[nuttybuddy]

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-LA

aly, i'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. i think the best thing for now is to distance yourself from both him and her. it probably hurts too much to see or talk to them or hear anything about them.

[Jimmy1218]

sometimes Giga is full of simple answers without any sympathy. i donno why she even posts so much on these forums. i mean, her words are more hurtful than not. she's probably sick of being sympathetic cuz she's posted over 6,000 posts and she's just drained of all the sympathy she ever had. now that she's a moderator, i bet she'd want to even delete my post.

don't take her words to heart. she's callous.

aly, i'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. i think the best thing for now is to distance yourself from both him and her. it probably hurts too much to see or talk to them or hear anything about them.

oooo, better get some strong protection on a55 nuttybuddy, cause it'll probably get framed.

[Gigabitch]

sometimes Giga is full of simple answers without any sympathy. i donno why she even posts so much on these forums. i mean, her words are more hurtful than not. she's probably sick of being sympathetic cuz she's posted over 6,000 posts and she's just drained of all the sympathy she ever had. now that she's a moderator, i bet she'd want to even delete my post.

FYI, the only post I've ever deleted was the one where you posted a link to another relationship forum. We don't advertise other sites here. You can post a link to your MySpace page and such, but not to another forum. Can't imagine what you were thinking.

And do you people need more clarification, here? Let me use smaller words: If your friend is a bad friend, it's better to know it than to keep thinking she's a good friend.

I don't know how much more simple I can make that statement, and it's really the only comfort the OP can take, here.

Nuttybuddy, you might want to do a little research before you cite me, of all people, as being callous. You're making an ass of yourself.

[vashti]

Nuttybuddy - you have misread Giga. While her post may have seemed cryptic to you, she is NEVER callous. In fact, it would be fair to say that she is one of the least callous people posting on this board. I am waaaayyyyy more callous. People who have been here for any length of time adore giga AND her good advice, and were unanimously pleased she was made moderator.

Aly - I know and understand why you are upset with your friend. I would feel awful if I were you. However, if you want to try to keep her as a friend (and it isn't clear that you should), you may try to look at this from her point of view: you two were finished, and he has a right to move on. They may end up being a good match.

Take pleasure in knowing that people usually reap what they sow. I know someone who did something similar to her *sister*. She ended up marrying her sister's ex-boyfriend, and she was miserable for 10 years, and ended up divorcing him. He still makes her miserable every chance he gets over child-related issues.

How recently did you break up with this guy? How long have you been friends with this girl? Does she have any history of being so inconsiderate, either to you or to other people?

[MOCAMBO]

OMG you have no idea how similar our situations are ! Except my best friend turned into a total jackass and the my first love pretends like nothing ever happened and everything is normal. It ****ing sucks man. Your definetly not alone here my friend.