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Thread: Lies and lies...

  1. #1
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    Lies and lies...

    Well, that´s the best topic I can make up. I started a long distance relationship about 15 months ago, my first real one. We had been pen pals for a long time and happened to meet when she was in my country as au-pair for three months. I didn´t know anything about her past and she never really wanted to talk about it. So, things rolled on, I visited her once during our days and we had a great time as usual.. I was madly in love the whole year. Then one day some months ago I decided it would about time to know what we´ve done in the past, and she confessed that she had came to my country as au pair for some another guy from my country, and that they´ve had a relationship for two years (during which there was another guy from the states). This about turned my world around and I realised I´ve been the blindest guy on earth. Not only that, but she and this guy had continued writing eachother often after their break-up, some weeks before we fell in love. By not telling about this she wanted to protect me from her past she finds painful (she realised his guy never loved him). Well, she is my first real love and I´ve been given a lot for this relationship, as has she. But ever since this revelation I´ve found it more difficult to feel love towards her, usually the first thing that comes to mind when I think about her is dishonesty.

    She´s a great girl and she apologized me a lot for not telling the truth, but I´m unsure as how to react. Maybe the fault is in me, as she said she has loved only me ever since we fell in love, so it doesn't affect our current lives. I even get feelings of being unsure about myself as she has tons more experience than I.

    Like was said, although I forgave her, I´m not over this. What would you have done?

  2. #2
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    Illusional is offline different state of mind
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    shit...wake up.. you're having or had a relationship with a girl that you hardly seen and meet over the internet. i mean i could tell you that i'm your father and you would believe me. what i'm getting it that although people do seem sincere on the internet, i don't think that relationships should start from that sense unless you're able to see the person more than once a month. that way you'll have less doubts and will interact more. as for this girl... let her go because she'll probably lie to you again to capture your heart... only to break it. raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  3. #3
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    I think you´re not understanding (yet). What is a few years waiting for a lifetime together? The right answer is nothing.. if you insist to be such an impatient person, then you´ll miss a lot in yer life.
    I always laugh at people anyway who say how difficult it is when you don´t see your mate for a month. A month apart is nothing, at some point of life you have to get used to that anyway. Btw, we didn´t meet on the internet, it wasn´t even supposed to happen. It just did, we fell in love. We´ve seen three times, spent about 40 days together, and I´ve seen enough to say that she the most trustable, she even apologized this lie by crying. She never has money, but took a loan of 250e just to come here to see me.
    I would not do that if I wasn´t serious.

  4. #4
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    Long-distance relationships are far more trouble than they are worth, in my opinion. You spend 98% of the time suffering and wondering what's going on. Life is so short and precious...as is youth...time goes by and you never get it back.

    Find a REAL girlfriend--someone you can be with PHYSICALLY. As I see it, that is what life is about. I cannot believe you are seriously wiling to wait for years to spend time with her! She most probaby would not do that for you, and in any case few, if any females on this planet are worthy of that sort of loyalty.

    A girlfriend at your side (physically) is worth 1000 long-distance girls who say they pine over you, and that you never get to even touch.

    Please, please consider this very carefully.

    Good luck!

    Ladies' fan.

  5. #5
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    I understand what you´re saying... that´s exactly how I used to think. But to say it in short, she is even more crazy about meeting eachother than I. She´s always broke though, you cannot imagine what kind of a trouble it was to make a three week meeting financially arranged last month. She is out from school next year and we plan to move together in my city, and with my bad women experiences in the past.. I don´t think I have chances to get a better laydee. I know that she loves me, that´s all she talks about.. she says she will wait me for the rest of her life if she has to. What does that wants to say...?
    I am probably too attached to let go anymore, it should have been done earlier. She would not believe if I´d say... "I´ve changed my mind about this relationship, I don´t want to wait anymore, I have to let you go". Not a way to end a relationship.

    Thanks anyway.
    Last edited by Stomp; 11-09-03 at 07:17 AM.

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