Help Me Out Love Forum Gurus

[Ðor]

I think this is the right forum? Sort of like the general section?

Anyways.

I'm going to ramble as much off as possible quickly. I'd love any help or advice and am happy to expand or clarify on anything.

Been in a two year relationship. Began when I was a Senior in College, she was a Sophomore. She grew up in an abusive home, oldest of lots of siblings, still has a horrible relationship with her parents, reverts to a scared angry child when around them. She transferred to my school for her sophomore year after a bad relationship her freshmen year in which there was allot of drinking, some physical violence and sex for the first time. I graduated, got a good job, stayed in town living with her. Summer after college I went on a long planned trip to Europe with my little brother who graduated high school at the same time. Didn't bring her, she still brings it up to this day.

End of fall semester for her she decides she needs to transfer to another school. She can't afford the one she is at and I graduated from. Her parents won't even co-sign the loans. It's 45k at year, I believe her. When she gets angry at me she says she left because she wasn't happy with me. This last spring she moved out of state to new school. I stay behind with job. move in with family in the area to save money to buy a house. I take care of her dog. We are still together.

She I see here once or twice a month. I take care of the dog for almost six months, but don't have a place to keep him anymore. Family gets tired of him. I drive him out to her (two day drive) this 4th of July. That was the last time I saw her. I had seem her two weeks before that. She never says thank you for taking care of him, or thanks/pays me back or even acknowledges the almost $1000 I spent taking care of that dog (he required some medical attention while with me).

We are in constant contact. Easily 500 texts a month, and a phone call or two a day, most days, unless she freaks out and gets angry at me. Her life is always filled with drama, more than any other person I've met. She's moved four times since being out there. She got a job that pays well but takes up way to much time, so she's now going to a crappy school getting crappy grades.

Meantime, in the middle of moving this week. Last night she goes from wanting to start moving her stuff out now when she comes to visit this weekend, to deciding she doesn't really like where I live and not sure she wants to do that to we're breaking up... she says that sometimes. I'm used to it. To be honest, it's been a while that I've felt like I could take it or leave it. We are great when we are together. Not so much when we are apart. And the more apart we are, the more warped and negative her memory of us together is. She also put out the ultimatum that I needed to purpose to her before she's move back. She got offended when I told her she had given me an ultimatum.

I'm sort of feeling like calling it quits. If I had to guess, I'd say she won't come out this weekend, but by Monday will be demanding I fly out next weekend or it's over.

She's like that. I've come to realize she really likes playing the role of the victim, everything is always everyone else's fault. Anything that happens, she never offers any insight into what she could have done differently, everything just happens to her, as though she's a passive player in her life... which is interesting because she's really very active, if anything she can be accused of spreading herself too thin trying to accomplish too much, doing nothing particularly well in process... at the same time bringing herself to the point of meltdown... which is of course, someone, or thing, else's fault.

Just looking for insight here. Will answer any questions that might help. Don't know what the pertinent info is for someone to help who's never met either of us...

[Junket]

Her past if filled with shit that she did not feel in control of.

With you, she feels like she has some control, and I'd only suspect if you were to marry, (thankfully you haven't), she'd only become more demanding. It's not up to you to fix her, and this has clearly gone beyond your willingness to cope with.

You're a smart man, but I understand you may feel a little torn in the sentiment department.

So let us help swing you in the right direction.

Drop her.

She want you to propose?

Why the f*ck doesn't she propose?

Probably because she'd be afraid you'd reject her.

Can you imagine what kind of wedding she'd want?

Ever see that show Bridezilla?

Neither have I, but I suspect it'd be something like that.

You cut ties now, let her drown in her drama. She's a big girl now and has no one to blame, or credit, but herself for the life she has. Don't feel guilty, don't take responsibility.

Go find yourself a girl you're happy with, not some leech lookin' to suck your soul dry.

[Ðor]

Yeah, I was kind of expecting an answer like that. I guess if I'm too embarrassed about what I'm putting up with to tell either a friend of family member, that can't be a good thing...

[Junket]

Yeah, I was kind of expecting an answer like that. I guess if I'm too embarrassed about what I'm putting up with to tell either a friend of family member, that can't be a good thing...

Yeah, man.

You still got yer balls, don't let her cut them from ya.

We got your back.

[Gigabitch]

I've been in her position, or close to it. I have to say, what really helped me was meeting my college boyfriend. He didn't take any crap from me, but he made it absolutely clear that he loved me forever and that he was totally and completely on my side. I had never met anybody I could completely trust before. It made all the difference.

You may not be that guy for her. If you aren't, I say let her go.

[Illusional]

wow... why did you post a novel?? i can't read that much in one sitting.

raverboy