"I love you" said way too often. A bad thing?

[competitive2]

In an average day my girlfriend might tell me she loves me 100 times. At first it was really sweet but now it's kind of losing its meaning because it's said so much.


let me give you an example of how many times she might say it in a short span.

her: hey

me: hey whats up

her: not much, just doing dishes. wanted to call you and tell you i love you. what are you up to?

me: aww baby i love you too. im just making supper

her: ooo what are you making...and i love you!

me: grilled chicken, nothing fancy.

her: sounds good.

me: wanna come over and have supper with me

her: thanks for inviting me baby i love you

me: me too baby.

her: i can't come i have to meet my girlfriends for coffee. i love you baby

me: uh oh girls night out. dont go girls gone wild on me now!

her: hehe i love you baby you know it wont get too wild. i love you so much

me: me too baby

...and so on

thats just an example of how many times she might say i love you in a minute.

is this healthy? i mean is she looking for acceptance or something? i love her and she knows this and i definitely know she loves me, she doesn't need to say it once a minute though.

[carl1222]

It does seem a bit over the top. Maybe she's insecure. Maybe she just wants you to know how much you mean to her. Why is it a problem for you?

Carl.

[searchng4luv]

It might seem like a lot but I am sure there is a reason for it. Maybe in a past relationship she didn't hear it enough or possibly someone told her she didn't say it enough, in any case there is a reason. Just keep that in mind and hopefully it won't bother you as much, if it still bothers you though, you might have to find a nice way to talk to her about it.

[vashti]

Tell her to knock it off. That would be SOOOO annoying.

Also, she may be trying to convince herself that what she says is true.

[Corp900]

Dont over use it it will loose power

[lahnnabell]

So, you guys can't have a normal conversation without her inserting "I love you" between every line? That would be crazy annoying.

It's usually a sign of some sort of insecurity. Either sit down and tell her that you're afraid it's losing its value, or suck it up and shut up.

[xxazurexx]

It comes across as insincere and when said once too often.

[IncognitoSir]

I've seen this before, let me guess, you're afraid to bring this up to her because you think she'll take it the wrong way? I think she just wants you to know how much you mean to her and how much she really does love you and this is her best way to convey the message to you. Even though it'll be an awkward conversation you have to have that talk asap. Clearly its bothering you and you dont want to start getting upset with her over it. Just let her know that she doesnt need to say it that much. She doesnt need to say anything that much lol.

[carl1222]

^^^ what are the chances she'll take it the RIGHT way? Slim to none!

If the biggest annoyance in your relationship is that she expresses her love for you too often, count yourself very lucky. Whatever the underlying reason she does it, it's important to HER. Have the good grace not to allow something so trivial to annoy you and don't risk needlessly hurting this sweet girl by making it an issue in your mind or your relationship.

Why not simply change your own attitude, recognize it as a quirk, and leave it at that? There are many things in a relationship that need to be talked about ... this isn't one of them!

Carl.

[girl68]

^ That's not trival that's super annoying grown ups don't talk like that- tell her to cut it out.

[carl1222]

No, girl68, what's super annoying (and destructive) is having the need to try to change his partner's personality and behavior in a very trivial matter just to avoid his own annoyance. Grown ups don't do that! Grown ups adapt and make compromises in unimportant matters to help make a relationship work. It will only annoy him if he lets it ... are you suggesting that he should be able to tell her what she can and can't say to him?

Carl.

[IncognitoSir]

No, girl68, what's super annoying (and destructive) is having the need to try to change his partner's personality and behavior in a very trivial matter just to avoid his own annoyance. Grown ups don't do that! Grown ups adapt and make compromises in unimportant matters to help make a relationship work. It will only annoy him if he lets it ... are you suggesting that he should be able to tell her what she can and can't say to him?

Carl.

Yeah! Who says I Love you that much? Not to mention she only says that due to her own insecurities. Why would someone constantly need to say that. If she truely means "i love you" EVERY single time she says it than I'd say she's beyond love and more likely to be obsessed which is even worst. Grown ups talk to each other about whats bothering, you don't just deal with it. No matter how big or how small the matter may seem.

[girl68]

No, girl68, what's super annoying (and destructive) is having the need to try to change his partner's personality and behavior in a very trivial matter just to avoid his own annoyance. Grown ups don't do that! Grown ups adapt and make compromises in unimportant matters to help make a relationship work. It will only annoy him if he lets it ... are you suggesting that he should be able to tell her what she can and can't say to him?

Carl.

ABSOLUTELY- that's EXACTLY what I'm suggesting. There are soooo many things dumb, young and inexperienced people say and reasonable people speak up (politely and kindly albeit) and tell them that its annoying, inappropriate and way over the top.

[Mish]

Have you asked her why she says it so often? What's her reason?