Breaks up with me then texts to see if I"m ok??

[amyg091]

so my boyfriend of 4 months started withdrawing into his little cave becasue he doesn't have a job, isn't happy with his situation and other stresses. mkay. i get that. he finally talked to me and said the relationship doesn't feel right anymore, I fought for it, he said i don't think i like how persistent you're being. so I said i'd back off. he said that's best for now. we had a cordial break up and I thought that was it. he said "if i feel on top again and want a girlfriend you're the first and only on the list." false hope or legitimate caring, i dunno.

now it's 2 days later. he texted me this morning saying "lemme know how you're holding up. I've been worrying a bit."
so i gave him the honest answer, its hard but i'm managing. thanks for asking.

GUYS - why would he text me this? I dont really get it. he wanted space. i backed off. then he texts me? is he just trying to keep tabs on me? if he tries to talk to me again what should I do?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Next time he contacts you, tell him not to contact you for any reason, unless he wants to get back together. If he calls you, ask him immediately if he's ready to get back together; if he says anything but yes, hang up and do not answer when he calls back. Get the point?

[devonbrown]

If he gets into his head as much as you said (the comment about his retreating into his little cave with his stresses, etc), then why don't you take what he asked you at face value?

It doesn't sound like this guy stopped caring about you. It sounds like he is a mess himself and maybe didn't want to put you through that any more. So he texted to see how you are doing. Not to keep tabs on you, but because he honestly cares. He may also be trying to get you to ask him how he is. It may be a bit of a cry for help, but I don't know him to know for sure.

As of right now though, you are single. Don't overthink his actions and just concentrate on your own.

Good luck.

[amyg091]

Thanks. I'm really trying to move through it. I don't think I've honestly acceepted that this is the complete last I'll hear from him. I dunno. Might a guy come back after he gets his life in order? Or am I just fooling myself?

[MerryH]

Might a guy come back after he gets his life in order?

Maybe. You still have to move on as if there's no chance you'll ever get back together, though.

[oGoody]

He's probably feeling like it's so unmanly to be going through what he's going through and doesn't want to be a failure and not be able to be a strong figure in your eyes. He shouldn't have made that decision if it was because he's at a low point. If anything he should go through this time period with you because it would be the support he'd need and make your relationship stronger. Him asking you how you are holding up also seems like he's insecure about if you really would be heartbroken by the situation and whether or not you'd be moving on fast. I think you should retry to get things back on track and have long conversations about it and make sure no ones holding back their true feelings.