Forgiveness and Cheating

[Creativejeanius]

Girls, would you ever forgive a guy you loved deeply for cheating? Do you believe that once a cheater always a cheater? My ex girl said she tried to forgive me for cheating on her but then dragged me through a year of constant arguments only to realize she couldn't. Truth is didn't cheat on her after that and probably never would have again. The worst part is after all this and trying to work things out with her again I found out she had been lying to me for year and a half about a guy she slept with while we were on a "break" that I didn't even really want (this break came before she found out about the cheating thing). However, she thinks that this is completely fine and acceptable because "we weren't together at the time" according to her. If she told me the truth I probably wouldn't have gotten back together with her. It would have saved me a lot of time and hassle. How could she have dragged me through the mud for a year over this while she was lying to me about this. Ugh I don't know this whole situation sucks.... now we resent each other but I also miss her.

[Mish]

Maybe this was her way of punishing you

[Creativejeanius]

Yea, in a lot of ways I think it was.

[Heratriumphant]

I actually read your other thread and decided to be polite and not respond to it.

Now however I'm going to be blunt. Aside from cheating on her MULTIPLE times by your own discription it sounds like you treated that girl like SHIT!

Seriously, why on earth would she posibly want to forgive you and go back to that? Hopefully she's picked up an iota of self respect and is moving on.

[bluesummer]

I did forgive my ex for cheating, and quickly learned what an idiot thing it was to do.

Forgiving is like giving them permission to do it again, because there's no consequences. So of course he did it again. And again. Took incrementally more pains to hide it. I tried to trust him, but was never able to again. In fact, it took me almost three years to be able to trust any man again.

Once a cheater, 99% of the time doomed to repeat. I've seen it happen time and again with people I know.

[Gigabitch]

I love my husband passionately but if he cheated on me his ass would be out on the curb in five seconds flat. He'd have to get his cheating ass on down the road pretty quick, too, because I'd be shooting at him from the kitchen window.