I have been debating breaking up with my boyfriend for the past few weeks. We have been together for almost four years and are both 22. Sometimes I go through periods where I cannot imagine any life that does not involve him, but some days I feel like we are just too different. When I go back and forth on whether to break up with him or not one of the big things that comes to my mind is that I am worried that if I leave him I may fall into a routine of partying and start to become irresponsible. I am majoring in criminal justice so this kind of lifestyle would be a very bad career decision.
I think that I am mainly worried because when I left him two years ago that is exactly what happened. I feel like this may almost be a form of using my boyfriend. I wonder if this is the case. I also wonder if I feel like this because I am scared of being alone (i have not been single since I began dating) and feel like the guy that I would be with would dictate my lifestyle.
Is this considered using him? And if I feel like this should I leave him? I mainly have been thinking of leaving him because he can be really immature around his friends and I also cannot stand how much he hates everyone as soon as he meets them.
I am really confused on whether I should stay with him and keep this going or if these feelings are a sign that I need to move on.