Hello I just made my account today and this seems like the place for such discussions. I will try and keep it short and sweet but no promises =P
I am a guy who is 20 and I have a female friend who is 19. I have know her for a year or two but in the last month or two we have become best friends to each other. I went through a rough time concerning my appearence and didn't see her or any of my other friends for months. Then we started talking again in June and we spoke often on facebook throughout July and have continued to do so through August and now into September.
In July at a party we were drunk and kissed but didn't talk about it until recently but it hasn't injured the friendship. We have told each other we consider each other as best friends which makes me very happy but I have these feelings for her. She had a break-up recently and her mum suggested me as a boyfriend but she told me that she told her mum that she said she sees me too much as a friend. Which made me feel good but hurt me at the same time. I feel that when it comes to love I always lose out.
A few nights back I got a text from her whilst she was drunk saying she loves me and i'm her best friend. The text requested that I went to hers to keep her company and I did and nothing happened in a romantic way. It was all strictly friendly and we had a laugh and watched Tv. I feel I was a good friend.
We spoke last night and we joke about me being like a girl as she can talk to me about anything and she told me she is seeing someone. As soon as I read it I felt sick and my heart ached like mad. I also felt weird as I felt happy for her as a friend. I put on some what of a front (well I typed as it was over facebook) that I was really pleased for her and acted like I was cool with it. I was actually heart broken.
I looked for help on the internet elsewhere and everyone just said tell her how you feel but I can't. Its not that simple. It could make things awkward and ruin the friendship. The friendship we have means the world to me and I couldn't risk it. I am a paranoid person and have lots of self confidence issues. I'm scared that now she is seeing someone she might forget about me or not speak to me as often. She is going to university in about a week and i'm going to miss her. I just feel like I can't win when it comes to love. I don't know what I want. I want to be best friends but I also desire a relationship with her. Is this just another girl I can't be with? I have lost out in love so many times before I feel like I don't deserve love.
Thank you for your time.