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Thread: Is he leading me on?

  1. #1
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    Is he leading me on?

    Ive met this lad, I like him alot and he said he likes me, he told his mates and my mates he likes me.. Thats ok

    But whenever I suggest to meet up, he seem to change the subject or not reply but I dont understand this, he keep sending me texts saying stuff like wish I was with you now, regret not coming out with you now etc

    I know he a very reserved guy and pretty shy so it could be to do with this? When were together we have a laugh and that but I dont understand why he seems to not want to reply when I suggest if he wanted to go out sometimes etc?

    I am confused but what should I do about this? Im not doing anything to rush him, his mate said I should wait and see if he comes to me?

  2. #2
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    I don't think he's leading you on, I think its his shy/reserved personality. Its a good sign if he's not trying to rush into anyting and its not like you're screwing around with him and he's bailing on you after telling you he likes you. I think give him a little more time. Maybe suggest group dates so he'll feel less pressure, maybe eventually he'll be comfortable.
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    Just take it as it is. Don't expect anything for now. If he's really into you but is quite shy, then just let it be, maybe he's still gathering enough courage to ask you out.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

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    He could just really be shy and introverted. Maybe he feels like you're too good for him. He may feel like he doesn't deserve you. You need to take it easy on him, and don't pressure him because that will not do anything to a shy guy's ego. Make him feel comfortable with you. You could try telling him how you like men who are not too loud; those that are shy and a bit reserved--just like him. Tell him you find such guys attractive. That could help boost his self esteem and help him gather the courage to ask you out.

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    Thanks guys I will take your advice on board

    Lovebugguy - I never actually thought of that, I will let him know that I do like the quieter lads

    Another problem now, his best mate really likes me alot, he pretty much been sending some texts that suggest things etc but Im trying to like kindly let him know its not him I want but its probably not really helping the shy lad I like

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    Another problem now, his best mate really likes me alot, he pretty much been sending some texts that suggest things etc but Im trying to like kindly let him know its not him I want but its probably not really helping the shy lad I like
    Turn the problem around. show the shy guy some of the messages, then dismiss it in such a way that it'll let him know that you're really not interested with the other guy and you'd rather be with someone like him. You know him and I don't so think about this advice first before implementing it.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

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    Quote Originally Posted by nerdy_guy View Post
    Turn the problem around. show the shy guy some of the messages, then dismiss it in such a way that it'll let him know that you're really not interested with the other guy and you'd rather be with someone like him. You know him and I don't so think about this advice first before implementing it.
    I totally agree with nerdy_guy. Doing this would make the shy guy realize that you DO like him.

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    I will try that if I see him again, he gone really really quiet on me, not really texting me and when I do text (I dont text him alot, usually every 3/4 days something like that) he doesnt seem to want to carry on texting very much (dont blame him lol) I really want to know why he gone quiet on me but its only been the last couple of weeks since he started doing this but its since his mate admitted to me he liked me

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    That's a good sign. Go ahead and do it Good luck

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    when was the last time he was involved with a girl like this? maybe he had a bad experience and it really knocked his confidence? don't ask him, just bear that in mind. but most of it is probably his personality and he doesn't know how to react with the situation. this doesn't make it a bad thing, but you've gotta show that you're not an axe murderer and reassure him every so often. he's probably gathering courage as we speak

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    Lovebugguy - how you mean its a good sign? he just quieter than he been eek lol

    Kitkitkitty - I got a text from him last night saying how he felt at the time so I think your right thats he gathering courage.. he never used to say what he doing at the time but lately he has a little.

    I was told his last gf used him quite badly and treated him badly, also he got off with someone awhile ago after the relationship (some time before he met me) and he texted her the next day and she gave him some crap about it so i think his confidence is very low with lasses. So to let him know im not a evil person lol just been sending the odd funny but sort of slightly flirty texts that doesnt scare him and it seems to be working a little bit, just need to get him more confidence to come and meet up but probably with his mates but Im ok with that lol

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    ok well if he's reserved and shy in the 1st place that's gona be a huge knock to him, maybe this random girl even more than the girl he broke up with. he might be comparing you to the only situations that he's had which atm he has a rather low opinion on. he'll keep getting confidence. i think he's still waiting for you to bail out on him so hence not trying to meet up all the time...he's sparing his own feelings. you seem to be doing a pretty good job atm just go slowly and give him his space. at the same time remind him he's the special one in your life good luck tell me how you get on.

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    yeah that does sound about right like, I dont think he is ready because his mate told me he doesnt want a relationship and im not too sure myself (I would give it a go with him thou) however its been about 4/5 months.. is this a long time however he always working and im always busy with something so not been able to meet up alot but i do think he lost interest.. i keep up with what im doing

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    if it's been that long maybe you need to ask him pretty outright what he's in this for so you're not left guessing.
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  15. #15
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    wow, Im abso gobsmacked out of the blue I get loads of txts saying he liked me n stuff n wants me to see him tomorrow... im just shocked cos I wasnt expectin that nice surprise I think

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