Please help, I can't live like this! I need her in my life!

[smarc2f]

Hello everyone, i'd like to say up front that im sorry for writing a book, however, i have no other way to express how i am feeling....Ok, here it goes, I just got back from a trip about 2 weeks ago i took to the beach. I have a MAJOR problem, i cannot get the most amazing girl out of my mind. I got there on a sunday, went out to eat with some friends on monday, walked into the restaurant and immediately made eye contact with the cutest nicest russian girl Maria whom was the hostess. We talked and both of us were very interested, i got her number and waited till she got off work. That night i walked to meet up with her where we walked on the beach, and it felt as if i had known her my whole life. She's going to be a linguist, can you imagine that well we spent almost the entire night sitting on a lifeguard chair just talking about everything, and the most amazing part of it all was that we never got bored or even had to try to find something to talk about, everything just felt so easy to talk about. We didn't have sex or anything like that, i did give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug at the end of the night. Well, the next night we hung out again. We took a trip to the nearby bay and took some pictures, talked, and ended up kissing at the end of the night . To try to shorten the story, we continued to hangout every night for the entire week and a half i was there. We never had sex during this time, we did make out and hold hands. I know this story might sound stupid to some of you, but it really is difficult and i don't know what i should do. I cannot stop thinking about her, holding her, laying with her. I know some of you are thinking "it was only a week and a half", and yes that's true, but we honestly spent 8 hours a day together and it was special. This girl is nothing like the clique girls that live where i am. The ones who are more worried about who you know, rather than focusing on you and her. I really could see myself and i know because we've already made it clear, that if we lived near each other we would give a relationship a go. But that's my problem, shes from russia but shes staying in america till january down by the beach, i live approximately 8 hours away. I don't want to live thinking what could have been there had we given each other a chance for at least a month or so. Ever since ive gotten back, we've been in contact everyday and I am honestly depressed please if you could find it in your heart to give me an honest (hopefully, not completely devastating) reply, i would greatly greatly appreciate it.

[Teddy057]

Well my friend, being so young and having possibly just fallen in love in somewhat of a fairy tale manner can be pretty eye opening. Since there is a pretty big distance between the two of you, I would say your time spent together is done for quite some time. You could try and keep in touch, and who knows what will happen when you two are out of school and ready to start your adult lives. If it's meant to be, it will happen.

It's good that you finally met a girl who isn't like a "Clique" girl, because those clique girls are huge jokes. I promise you though, they're plenty of awesome women out in the world. You just need to find them.

Be happy you got to experience a week and a half of happiness, and it gave you a taste of what one day you will find again For now though, I wouldn't put your dating and love life on hold... The distance and amount of life ahead of you both could definitely change things from what they were.

[kitkitkitty]

i know what you mean when you want to at least try and if both of you are up for it then its your lives and is alway better than wondering what if. if you both feel the same and know whats ahead then try it and see where it goes. in my experience, situations can take polar opposite changes in the space of about a week....twice. i'd say go with what your gut tells you but take it slowly somewhat. that, or just leave it and not risk your heart getting broken. talk to her and work out what you think is right for both of you. good luck

[smarc2f]

Hey Teddy and Kitty, thank-you for your advise i really appreciate it. Yeah I really just don't know what I'm going to do, I have to get rid of this absolute pain that I am feeling over her. I mean on one hand I could drive back down to the beach for like another week, talk with her and see how she feels. But, on the other hand, if I go back down to see her, I'm pretty sure we would honestly fall for each other because the connection is already strong, and i don't know if I could handle leaving her once again especially if we're head over heels. Leaving her this past week was one of the hardest things i've gone through, I mean we knew it was coming, but I couldn't let go of her, i couldn't stop kissing her, and I couldn't imagine how hard this was going to be and it honestly rips at my insides when i stop and think "wow, I'm probably never going to see this most amazing girl again" I'm really lost, and i know how hard that path to be with her would be. I wouldn't want her to throw away college for a stupid boy she met down the beach, as nor would't she want me to throw away my college for her. Im going quote you teddy057 "It's good that you finally met a girl who isn't like a "Clique" girl, because those clique girls are huge jokes. I promise you though, they're plenty of awesome women out in the world. You just need to find them." Honestly, I feel like I've found the most awesome woman in the world, and now I have to let her go because there is no possible way I can see us being together . Anyways, i really do appreciate the feedback everyone. Anymore advise would be greatly appreciated. This situation just sucks, it really sucks...

[kitkitkitty]

how long before you get out of college? my best mate lives in japan and her bf of a year and a bit lives in russia and they havent seen each other since last august when they 1st met. so it depends on the relationship and the people. maybe if you give it a try youll be content with knowing that you have this bf/gf connection and thatll feel special and over time youll realise its not for you. i havent got past experience of this but its probably easier to drift form someone who youre not physically close to? maybe youll meet up after months and realise youre meant to be. on the other hand you may realise that it wasnt meant to be. talk to her over facebook or something before meeting in person. in the meantime relax, hang around with friends. dont forget about her but dont let her dominate your life.

[smarc2f]

I'll be done with college in a year and a half. Yeah its still early, as long as i'm keeping in touch through text and on the phone occasionally right now, i'm sort of content. I don't know where its going to go, but i'm just going to let love grows where it needs to and try to worry a little less. Maybe try to keep her off my mind for more than 5 minutes a day . The only thing I fear is that we lose contact, but I really doubt we will. Anyways, thanks for the response again kitty I honestly am deeply appreciative.

[kitkitkitty]

hehe yeah i try to help the first few days and maybe week or so will obviously be intense for both of you. talk to her and find out exactly how she feels. she seems to feel the same which is nice then it's up to you. get to know your emotional bounadries and be careful too.

[Raze]

Before you get any ideas, it's not love. You're going through infatuation. All of your emotions are normal. You are no different than anyone else who is going through infatuation. Learn to control it. You're becoming depressed because you are allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by a fantasy. Take it slow. Getting excited is normal. Don't let it consume your life. You hardly know each other. How much do you really know about this person?

What you went through was probably a fling. Long distance doesn't work.

[Teddy057]

Honestly man, I doubt the Long distance relationship would work out.. You guys would be in different countries trying to stay loyal to one another.. I just don't see it happening with the two of you being so young, who knows you guys could end up falling in love with different people. I would just take this as a learning experience. Be happy you met someone that made you so happy, and that you clicked to well with. Trust me, it will happen again. I think this is best left in the past though.

[smarc2f]

well ive been taking it slow, we've still been talking almost every day. She wants me to come see her again before she leaves...I dont know what i should do. I want to try to leave it in the past but i can't stop talking to her, she really turned out to be someone i want to keep in my life. I don't plan on interrupting our lives right now, since we're in school, but i would like to continue to keep in touch with her and possibly see her over my winter break in December. But my question to everyone is, do you think i should take a trip down sometime in these next two weeks to see her? I did promise her i would take her to see Despicable Me at the movies