Friendship Rut

[I'm not telling]

Cain had said something about a rut where you are friends with a girl, and so she most likely cannot see you in any other way. So how do you avoid letting that happen?

[XPRabbit]

^.^ mystery of my life... please i would love to get this answer too, lol i seem to be put into that category really fast.

[ACR]

Imagine the situation where its the other way around.

You picture this girl as nothing more than a friend...how do you feel about her?

If you really had feelings for that person then you would probably do something about it.

Do something that is less "friendly", but don't be creepy or pushy.

If she refuses then it probably won't work out.
Just remember that clear communication is top priority.

[starbuck]

I would say, one way you could stop it from happening is by establishing early on that you are getting to know her, but also are interested in her romantically, too. Some guys try subtle hints, flirting, or just flat out telling her he's attracted to her.

There's really nothing to do though, if she she's not feeling the right kind of chemistry with you.

[I'm not telling]

Yeah, but...hmmm what I mean has to do with my previous thread, toward the end. The girl who sits two seats behind me is new to the school. So I was thinking that in a week or so I could ask her to meet me somewhere and get her phone number if she says yes. But from there on how do I not seem as intending to only be a friend? Since is what she observes that matters.

[lesa]

Don't become her friend. Have her see you beyond that.

[I'm not telling]

I would say, one way you could stop it from happening is by establishing early on that you are getting to know her, but also are interested in her romantically, too. Some guys try subtle hints, flirting, or just flat out telling her he's attracted to her.

There's really nothing to do though, if she she's not feeling the right kind of chemistry with you.

What you mean just if she meets me somewhere tell her that I'm attracted to her and that I would like to know more about her? Isn't that kinda putting her in an awkward situation?

[XPRabbit]

I would say, one way you could stop it from happening is by establishing early on that you are getting to know her, but also are interested in her romantically, too. Some guys try subtle hints, flirting, or just flat out telling her he's attracted to her.

There's really nothing to do though, if she she's not feeling the right kind of chemistry with you.

funny thing is i have an extremely high self confidence in all things but dating, well i like to put it this way, i have great self confidence but no self esteem, i gotta learn to get past the fear of scaring girls off. "establishing early on that you are getting to know her, but also are interested in her romantically" i have genuine interest in getting to know them but i fear that if i put the idea that i want to seek a possible relationship then i ruin the possible friendship... >.< any ideas... i would love to get over that fear.

[ACR]

A week or so? Why wait?

Just be careful, if she is new to school she may not have many friends and want to make you one of them.
Get to know her and then ask her on a date or something.

[I'm not telling]

A week or so? Why wait?

Just be careful, if she is new to school she may not have many friends and want to make you one of them.
Get to know her and then ask her on a date or something.

I always have more than one reason for anything I do, even the way I walk.

In this case I wil give you only one, though there are three.

Since she is new at school she might want to make me one of her friends, this is the first week of school that just ended, so waiting another will giver her a chance to make some other than me.

[XPRabbit]

though i can agree with ACR, the sooner the better ^.^... especially if your interested in her, every day is another day someone else can get interested and they may not wait >.<

[ACR]

Sounds like you make things too complicated.

Just go with it, and if it doesn't work...there are plenty more out there.

[I'm not telling]

hnh. Still she's sitting two seats behind me. The one right behind me has none in it (conspiracy theories is the course, only about 8 people in it.) so I guess on Monday I'll just sit one seat farther back so I can talk to her. Besides, the screen for the movie we're watching is so close to me I have to crane my neck a little and it hurts after keeping it like that for an hour.

And yeah, I usually do make things too complicated. I have a nack for seeing most possibilities and their outcomes almost simultaneously, so its hard for me to make decisions.

[ACR]

That sounds scary.

Hopefully she won't think so. Good luck man!

[XPRabbit]

Power to you man ^.^ i really hope it works out for the best