My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2.5 years. We are both in our upper 20's. I have been a teacher for 3 years and he will be graduating college in the fall. We have been planning to move to Nevada in January, and recently we took our last vacation there before we move. We have talked about marriage and kids and both of us were on board, until we came back from our trip. I recently noticed my boyfriend was acting a bit distant, but figured it was due to his busy work and school schedule. He ended up telling me this week that he is not ready for marriage and is unhappy with his freedom in our relationship. It came as a shock to me, because he has not shared his thoughts about how he feels and I felt blindsided and confused.
After talking to him and asking questions, I told him that the fears that he has should have been brought up months ago and not bottled up inside, which is not fair to me or to our relationship. He also has a fear of marriage due to his parents divorce, their money issues, and the fact that they hate each other. He also said that he wants to be more established in his new job once he graduates, and have time to settle down in nevada once we move. His fear is also losing his freedom, as far as hanging out with friends, which I have not told him he cant, but I think its more that he feels bad about leaving me and he wants to regain control of some of his finances. Which I come from a saving family, so I know that I get overcautious when it comes to saving money.
He ultimately said that he wants to give me a chance to prove that these types of things won't happen and I told him that he needs to communicate right away like I do, instead of holding it in and making it worse. I guess my main question is that is it normal for men to feel like this towards marriage? What can I do to help him open up about his parents issues and not think that those issues will be our issues if we get married? What can I do to give him his space financially and with friends?