OK, months ago I dated this guy. He was (and is) going through some emotional trauma from his divorce almost 2 years ago. He claimed to like me a lot, we got along well, we talked and then dated and then became exclusive...and then he freaked out and backed off. I kept talking to him and a couple of weeks later he wanted to date again. I told him fine, I was still single and he was a smart and funny guy, we could try again. But I warned him two times is past my limit, this was definitely the last time. If he ran off again, there would be no more dating between us. He agreed. Then a week later, he broke up with me again. I believe entirely that this yo-yo thing was related to his own demons, not anything directly related to me.
We have stayed in touch by phone and IM, never in person and our conversations are platonic. We have discussed his many attempts at dating in the past 6 months. I have come to realize that I am very fortunate to have not dated this dude, as he has a lot of issues AND he is extremely controlling in romantic relationships. I enjoy talking to him as an acquaintance, though.
So, I will never date this guy again, by mutual agreement. I will probably never see him again in person. He says he likes to have me as a friend because I give good advice and am fun to talk to and intelligent. Should I worry that he is merely keeping his foot in the door in the hopes that he can date me again if my current relationship falls apart? Does it matter?