Why do some girls change so drastically on their period?

[Cerby]

The girl I'm dating has a trend that is backed onto her cycles, we've been together for 4 months, and everytime her cycle starts, she changes dramatically. I'll usually see the change and ask why she is acting (upset/distant/grumpy) and she'll always hint that this is the "time of the month". We go from seeing each other 3-5 times a week during the other 3 weeks down to like 1 during the time of her period, and usually its a tensioned hangout at that. And when I ask her to hang out more or get frustrated when she doesn't want to get together, she gets upset that I want too much of her, questions the relatioship, etc. This is the first time I've finally connected the dots that her mood/attitude is related to this every month or so. During this time she will usually opt to see her friends more (which is totally fine), or simply sit at home and do nothing as opposed to want to spend time with me.

I ask because we just had a long weekend, and I saw her once, for a few hours, then she asked me to leave so she could have a nap. It was a nice long weekend weatherwise and we had some small plans which she didn't so much as cancel, as just avoided altogether.

Once the cycle ends, things return to normal and we go back to being together a regular amount, spending quality time together, having fun, etc.

I don't understand why she is so extreme, I've never dated anyone like it.

EDIT
Furthermore, as a guy, what can I do to help her, or myself, get through it so that I don't let it bring me down when she is like this? Its hard to work with her when she simply doesn't want to hang out.

[DarkHelmet82]

dude, i had four sisters growing up and they all got it AT THE SAME TIME.. talk about being in an insane asylum.... just be supportive and dont take it personally, some women react differently to it than others.

Cerby dont fall into this trap again bro, didnt she do this the last time?

[Gratedwasabi]

dude, i had four sisters growing up and they all got it AT THE SAME TIME.. talk about being in an insane asylum.... just be supportive and dont take it personally, some women react differently to it than others.

Cerby dont fall into this trap again bro, didnt she do this the last time?

Women sync their cycles when they spend a lot of time together... aliens, ain't they?

[Cerby]

@Darkhelmet

Different kind of situation, see your PMs. It doesn't ring at all of the previous situation, at least not yet.

[Riku]

There is a thing called pmdd, I have it and it is pretty severe. It's not uncommon but not a lot of women get it. It sounds like what she has. A week before my period I become depressed, suicidal, irritable, combative etc. It's much more intense then regular pms and once the period ends it disappears. Read up on it and you may get a different outlook on what she is going through or feeling.

[oldskool83]

I think its just the harmones mixed with what ever stress there could be in her life. my g/f was very short and grumpy a week before her period and shes never been like that ive known. i didnt take any offense to it. she did say she was feeling cranking and i just asked why and she explained stress from work, kid, etc.

just say hope ya feel better, thats all i do. nothing else i can really do but pass it off as whats what can happen.

my ex use to get very needy, calling me and texting all the time or helling honey come love me, she just wanted somone there with her. eveyrones different. stress plays a huge part i think. but what do i konw, i have a penis!!!!!!!!

[Cerby]

yea, I'm pretty sure I just need to stay out of the way of it. Last weekend her puppy got spayed (I might as well call it her baby, she treats it like one) so she was stressed about it, didn't sleep well because she wanted to keep a close eye on it, so had a sleepless weekend in addition to this coming up.

Mine gets the opposite of needy, she would rather spend the time mostly alone. So I guess I just need to learn to deal. I've seen her once since last Thursday, and tonight she already told me she is having friends over, so I guess I'll just wait for the week to pass and carry on. Won't let it bother me too much.

[Riku]

I love how this is in the ask a female and guys respond....sorry pet peeve

[Cerby]

Yea, I was hoping for more female answers. . .

[qwertz]

Women sync their cycles when they spend a lot of time together... aliens, ain't they?

Like dogs

I love how this is in the ask a female and guys respond....sorry pet peeve

Get over it.

OP, is she on birth control at all? The pill can help drastically improve this with some women.

[Cerby]

Yes, she is. But one of the few things I have learned in my travels is that the pill can make things better, but it can also make things worse. I had an ex that changed pills because of what it was doing to her mood. She went from very depressed during her cycle to being balanced and easier to get along with.

[Jenswaiting]

Cerby, don't take it personally. PMS affects women differently; it can vary in intensity due to stress, medications and general disposition. Count yourself lucky that she chooses to spend time alone or with female friends, she could be sparing you from the emotional baggage of pms. I can assure you that she probably doesn't want to bother you with how she's feeling. From a female perspective; we often feel like we are at the whims of something beyond our control. I often feel like I'm battling against the effect of the hormones in my system during this time of the month. How old is she? If she's more mature she is probably aware of her pms and is actively trying to avoid upsetting you. The following will help her oil of evening primrose, starflower oil, vitamin B complex, magnesium and exercise. She may even be able to find a hormone supplement. I take all of these and I'm also not on hormone-based birth control, luckily this keeps my pms in check.

If you need to, remind her that you love her and you're giving her the space she needs. She'll appreciate it.

[Cerby]

Cerby, don't take it personally. PMS affects women differently; it can vary in intensity due to stress, medications and general disposition. Count yourself lucky that she chooses to spend time alone or with female friends, she could be sparing you from the emotional baggage of pms. I can assure you that she probably doesn't want to bother you with how she's feeling. From a female perspective; we often feel like we are at the whims of something beyond our control. I often feel like I'm battling against the effect of the hormones in my system during this time of the month. How old is she? If she's more mature she is probably aware of her pms and is actively trying to avoid upsetting you. The following will help her oil of evening primrose, starflower oil, vitamin B complex, magnesium and exercise. She may even be able to find a hormone supplement. I take all of these and I'm also not on hormone-based birth control, luckily this keeps my pms in check.

If you need to, remind her that you love her and you're giving her the space she needs. She'll appreciate it.

she has a mix of friends, some male, some female, but def favours them this time of the month, which again is fine, I think having your own life is just as important as any relationship. She is 24, but if she was mature enough to avoid upsetting me, she should at least communicate it a little better than simply say "I'm grumpy at this time of the month" and then going off on her own for close to a week. That said, she still calls 1-2 times a day and keeps in touch, just doesn't feel like getting together, says things like "I'm tired" or "I just want to relax tonight" or "My friends are coming over".

But the advice has been helpful, makes me feel better just leaving her alone during these times.

[ShellyZ]

Another possibility is that she's avoiding physical intimacy during her period, which might explain why she wants to be with her friends instead of you. Obviously she can't have sex with you (well, most women prefer not to) but she may also feel bloated and cramped, which can make a woman very self-conscious. I used to dodge my boyfriend during my period because I didn't want him to touch me. Many women don't feel particularly sexy during that time of the month!

Personally, I've never had PMS, but I struggle with the physical side effects: cramps, bloating, fatigue. That makes it very hard to socialize, or do anything except curl up in the fetal position and sleep all day. Perhaps your girlfriend just doesn't want you to see her like that? And if she also gets PMS, then she probably finds it difficult to be nice to people during this time. Maybe she's afraid she might lose her temper and snap at you. The best you can do is leave her alone and let her do her thing. You don't have to ignore her completely, of course. Talking on the phone or texting is fine if she wants to do that. But don't pressure her to hang out with you; she likely feels like crap.

[surfer808]

I have experienced both ways. My exwife was terrible on her period and a few days before. My current GF has almost no issues with her period. Its definitely waaay better with the latter situation, I think being understanding is the key. I definitely gave my x a wide berth during that time, and did my best to not add any stress. btw she was very similar during both pregnancies. I think its hormonal and some get it worse than others.