Well I feel so hopeless now that i thought i needed to share my story with somebody...It all started in a romanian spring day of 2005. I was just 13 back then. Easter was close and our school and another one was going to compete in a theme competition. Each school had to choose a mascot which was a kid dressed in a costume...I was just happy that day because we were only going to stay two hours at school and then have fun for the rest of the day.I basicaly didn`t care about anything else. So, while i was walking down the hallway with a clasmate, arguing about the maths homework something caught my eye. It was our mascot, she was dressed as an easter bunny and had this killer smile on her face. By that time the maths homework was like expelled from my head. I simply couldn`t think of anything else...it was like something i never felt before. It was like a dream...it was just a moment but it felt like an eternity...of course it was then abruptly ended when she looked back at me. I was very shy so i looked away almost instantly. That day i couldn`t stop thinking about her. It was very weird as i couldn`t understand why i couldn`t stop thinking of her...i never even talked to her yet she was all over my mind. Basicaly the next days, weeks , months, years passed without anything changing. I had some girlfriends in the meantime but never really felt anything for them. Even though i have never talked to her it was like every time i saw her i wanted to go say something but i was constantly beating myself up with the thought of what am i going to say...when i was like in the 7th grade (like about one year later after she first caught my atention), i remembered one of my classmates saying out loud "hey guys, know what? Bibi (her name), just french kissed Claudiu from the 8th grade"...it was like i felt really jealous, even though i wasn`t supposed to be (i barely knew a thing about her). After that time like passed really fast and haven`t heard from her anymore. It seemed like i have effictively forgotten about her...she had become no one in mind (now i wish things have stayed like that)...until one day...i can`t figure out if it was a coincidence or it was destiny. Either way, it managed to make the year 2008 a living hell for me. That day i added her by accident on my messenger list. I started chatting with her, and things were seamingly going really well...i almost couldn`t belive it! The girl of my dreams was actually really responsive and things looked very promising, until one day i asked her out. She agreed, but one day before the date she told me she felt sick...the next day she text me telling me she couldn`t go out anymore. I felt very dissapointed to say the least...i didn`t belive her (although now i know it was true that she felt sick) so i like cut the communication with her for a few months. Then i started it again (like 3 weeks ago). I`ve invited her to our highschool party (she goes at another highschool) and she did come...What was supposed to be the first date with my dream irl turned out to be my worst nightmare. She hated it! She hated the disco where the party was, sh hated that there were too many people so you couldn`t dance, so she left at about 9 30 pm...she wouldn`t even let me take her home, she took a cab with her girlfriends...actually she didn`t even say bye. Well i was dissapointed to say the least. I stayed for one more hour, drank a couple of bers, then left. I went home on foot, that is about 4 kms in a city which isn`t quite safe...i didn`t even care...i passed through dangerous neighbourhoods just wishing some drunk asshole would come out and stab me.
In the end i got home, so here am i writing a story about my life at almost 1 am. I don`t know what i`m gonna do, but i just hope reading your opinions on my story would help. I`d also like to hear if you had similar experiences.