So....I am back with my ex again. We had been dating for about a year and a half, when I broke up with him. We were apart for about two months. During that time, for the first couple of weeks or so we texted back and forth. Then he said it was too hard and stopped texting me. He sent a text on the holidays, just saying he hoped I was having a good day etc. I responded in kind but that is all that was said.
While we were apart I dated two people, but did not have sex with anyone. The ex contacted me and after hanging out for a week or so, we are back together. Everything is going well, and I am very happy he made the move to contact me because I missed him terribly.
So here is the problem....I suffer from OCD. I have learned from my past that it is never a good idea for me to hear about the sexual past of people I am dating. I begin to have obessive thoughts and am unable to stop focusing on the idea of them with someone else. I am in therapy and on meds for this, and generally am able to manage the disease.
I recently had to change meds due to some side effects, and it is taking a bit for the new ones to work. In the meantime I have begun to obesess over the fact that my ex slept with someone else while we were apart. It seems likely that he would have. He is a great catch, obviously or I wouldn't be with him, and I know men tend to deal with break-ups by sleeping around. I also know that he was out drinking heavily while we apart as he was having a rough time.
When I think about it logically, I know that obviously he wants to be with me now. However, then my disease kicks in and I start thinking of him with tons of other women, or thinking that he found someone he really liked and is only back with me because it didn't work out. I don't feel like I should actually ask him, because right now with my meds unstable, I wouldn't be able to deal with it rationally and would probably sabotage the relationship.
I really don't know what my question is, as it seems like nothing would work to solve this. I guess I am just wondering, if a guy slept with someone to get over someone, or because they were lonely, is it not meaningless? And if he had found someone he really liked, or was out every night picking up women and having a great time, he would not want to be back with me, no?