Is it normal to desire someone else?

[helmet]

I have a boyfriend, he's a few years older than me and we spend a great deal of time together. I have honest feelings for him, but lately I've been finding I'm lusting after other males who have shown an interest in me. I don't know why I would desire anyone else when I have my boyfriend, or what I may subconsciously think I might find in someone else that I don't already have in my boyfriend. I feel bad about the way I feel and am not sure if it's normal to desire someone else?

[bulrush]

Yes it's normal to lust after someone else. I might like other people, but I'm only in love with one person at a time. The problems come about with secrets. Do not hide secrets from your boyfriend. If you want to date other people, talk to him about dating other people. But reassure him you still want to see him. You must be CRYSTAL CLEAR in your communication with him, then let him decide what he wants to do, and respect his decision, no matter what it is, for he might decide to see other people too. Fair is fair.

[Wakeup]

Just because we are in a loving and committed relationship it does not mean that we suddenly lose all attraction to other members of the opposite sex. Your job as the other half of a partnership that promised exclusivity and love to one another is to distance yourself emotionally and in thought from people that are showing you interest. How you handle the interest (flirting etc) from other men depends on your integrity, convictions, personal boundaries, relationship boundaries and loyalty.

Don't encourage the interest and advances of men other than your boyfriend if you expect that both of you should remain sexually and emotionally exclusive to one another.

[Way2Roux]

Normal, perhaps, but I don't really think it's okay. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and even though there's the occasional flirt/look at someone else in no way do I actually "desire" any other man. Even when we are fighting, he is the only one I want