Okay, I'm a 22 year old female, who's been with her 22 year old boyfriend for 11 months. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up. We have fallen in love, but there's one problem and it's a big problem. He constantly reminds me how much smarter he is than I am. At first I tried to ignore it, but it's gotten worse. I almost broke up with him 3 months into it because he told me I was smart, just not book smart. When I told him it bothered me, he told me I just wasn't physics smart. I've already had low self esteem in the smarts department because my 19 year old sister is pre-med and she's always been the "smart one". He not only talks to me like this, but he talks to everybody like they're below him and he's smarter than they are. When I told him that he does it to everybody, I actually brought him to tears and he told me that he doesn't mean to, and he even asked me to ignore it because he doesn't mean to sound like this. I certainly felt like a bitch when I made him cry, but he doesn't realize how much he hurts me when he talks down to me. I know he has low self esteem because he thinks of himself as ugly (I certainly do not think he's ugly) and he's always counted on his smarts to make himself feel just as good as everyone else. I know he obviously loves me, as he's talked about marriage and having children together, but I can't help but to feel a little nervous, as I don't want to be talked down to for the rest of my life. I recently wrote him a very long letter explaining how I felt, and I haven't given it to him yet, but I'm kind of nervous about giving it to him. It basically just talks about how he talks down to everybody and acts like he's better than everyone and I'm sick of it and that he hurts my feelings almost constantly. I know he's a sweetheart, but how can I trust someone that always acts like I'm stupid? I'm afraid that if I do have children with him that he'll talk to them like they're stupid without realizing that he's doing it. I love him very much and even though he's very intelligent with stuff like physics, he has almost no common sense at all. I can't be with someone that thinks of me as a dumbass, but I do know he loves me. He also once said, "You're obviously not dumb" but I didn't believe him because of the way he talks to me. I'm very confused and don't know what to do. Please give me advice, I'll take any.
I know love is supposed to improve your self esteem and you aren't supposed to feel judged, but I want to believe he doesn't mean the things he says. I've brought up ending the relationship a couple of times, and he cried. His parents love me and everyone says they can see us married. I honestly do not know what to do.