Confused over my feelings for my ex

**ashtonkutcher** · 03-02-11, 11:33 AM

So i have been repressing my resentment and hurt towards my ex ever since before I broke up with him. I broke up with him back in late august of last year because he suddenly became really distant with me, after two months of dating. By that time i still wasn't in love with him and not nearly that into him, but when I saw how nonchalant he was about me breaking up with him, it hurt me a lot. After two months he began dating another girl and he looks so happy with her and that angers me. I don't understand why, maybe because he was my first boyfriend or do i like him more than I think. I wonder everyday if I made a mistake breaking up with him. I also wonder if i made a mistake in keeping our friendship on facebook because I am constantly reminded of how happy he is with her. I don't know if i should just delete him for sure because I don't want him to know that I still care about him. Sadly he knows I looked at his myspace last december, so now I'm even more upset that he knows how I feel about him. It's a constant battle here in mind. Does anyone have any insight on this?

**curly1118** · 03-02-11, 11:44 AM

Remove him from facebook. Honestly Facebook is such a dumb thing. I hate that even I use it and make excuses to continue to use it. But remove and block him from facebook. You're seeing him give affection to someone else, and you wanted that type of affection. It isn't necessarily that you want him back. I think it could be that you just miss having those affections being funneled toward you, and since he was your first boyfriend you feel that those feelings should be coming from him and not someone else. And that he shouldn't be sharing that with anyone else.

But like I said, you should delete and block him so that you aren't constantly reminded of him and his new woman. Stay busy, try working out or taking up a hobby. I've found that when I work hard I tend to not think about stuff like that and generally it helps me feel better faster. But that's just me.

**ashtonkutcher** · 03-02-11, 01:52 PM

Well yeah it never occured to me but it does make sense what you said, because in truth I don't want him back, it just bothers me intensely how he is treating her because he was never like that with me.

**curly1118** · 03-02-11, 01:56 PM

Yeah. You just gotta move on. Keep him out of your head if the images of him with another girl are really that bad for you to see. Move on with your life. There are plenty of other great guys out there!

**ashtonkutcher** · 03-02-11, 02:12 PM

I know there is , but i guess it's hard for me since this is the first time this happens. What will he think if I delete him? He will probably know why, and he will realize it was bothering me seeing him with his new girl and I can't stand that at all

**curly1118** · 03-02-11, 02:17 PM

He might know why. But why care what he thinks? Quite frankly it's none of his business as to why you would delete him. You're doing this for you.

**ashtonkutcher** · 03-02-11, 02:19 PM

Yeah you are right, i'm doing it for my own good, wow I'm really going to do it now and just get it over it, thanks for the advice, you've been very helpful

**curly1118** · 03-02-11, 02:20 PM

Hey, no problem. I hope it all works out. Best of luck.

**ashtonkutcher** · 03-02-11, 02:23 PM

Thanks again

**Sarcasticshoe** · 03-02-11, 08:01 PM

This is one of those situations where you just need to move on. He isnt worth your time, really. You dated for 2 months and he became distant (probably because he wasnt interested) There are over 3 billion men out there... please find someone who actually deserves you <3
Good luck!

**ashtonkutcher** · 05-02-11, 01:08 PM

Thanks, and you are right as well. I no longer have any affiliation with him and hopefully it will be a lot easier to get over it

**Lukus** · 05-02-11, 08:20 PM

Facebook definately makes it harder. I myself had a big painful breakup around that time last year. I don't think me or her are still over it.. Just last night I found out she had deleted me, and kept all my friends..Pretty hard to tell if its because she isn't over me or not. It's hard not to take it personally. But if he is happy as you say, then it shouldn't upset him..If you don't want to seem petty you can "hide their feeds" so you dont see there statuses, but curiosity might get the better of you still where you will click on the profile.

I had deleted her phone number, hid her news feed and then just recently deactived my facebook for a month..

Having no contact/reminders is helpful, but I guess you just have to keep busy and meet new people.

**loveward_bound** · 05-02-11, 10:48 PM

Just thought you should know that I can *totally* relate to this. But when it happened to me I reminded myself the he was the wrong guy for *me* but by some reason that I'll never work out he was the *right* guy for someone else. Thats happened to me at least twice and FB was a struggle. Those feelings are definitely confusing but you seem to have put your finger on it. Dont stress, there'll be other guys who *will* be disappointed if you ever hint that it's not working out.

**ashtonkutcher** · 06-02-11, 11:23 AM

Thanks guys, this has been very helpful and therapeutic. It bothers me that he didn't care enough to keep the relationship, but everyday it bothers me less and less and one day it won't bother me at all

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