I'm feeling particularly sad right now - I have had a slight row with my mum - and I stormed out the house. What made me do it was not just because of the argument but because my brother called me a bitch, siding with my mum, and he threw things at me - it was the look in his eye that scared me - it was the same look he gets in his eye when he randomly hits me - a look that is almost savage and it felt as though he couldn't hate me more.
We have never been a close family. I don't know how to connect with them - I seem so individual to them. My brother the other day said: "Who are you? I don't know you - you are just a random stranger living in this house. You don't even look anything like the rest of us."
It made me feel adopted or something and that I really wasn't a part of the family.
I had just got back from my friends workplace where I'd walked to, and mum and me talked a bit - not really quite forgiving eachother or anything - but then she had to go to work and I just didn't know how to give her a hug. I said that i felt awkard about it - which is why I only say good night to her without a hug or kiss - I just don't know how to approach her.
I know one day she won't be here and it makes me feel sad because I try to be close to her - but I just don't know how.
Please help - if you can.
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