Doubting Myself: "Are you 1000000% sure that you like her?"

[Kero]

Hear me out people!

These last few months have been really confusing for me, and the other girl, to the extent that I feel bad about being so indecesive and uncertain about how I feel about her. She's already been hurt several times because of my "Yes-No-Maybe" attitude towards the whole thing in the past.

To keep things short and bullet pointed! Some really odd things...

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Slowly but surely, she's becoming one of my closest friends at university. I like spending time with her, and look forward to 'bumping' into her so that I can hang out more with her.

While I don't have that many female friends, we'll constantly be poking and tickling each other. I figured it's because we've developed that kind of friendship. Then again, our mutual friends thought we were going out again due to the amount of time we were spending together. If I'm being honest, she and I are both a little confused about whether I've been behaving just as a friend. :unsure:

Last week: I made the mistake of believing that she had developed feelings for another mutual friend and... well I sort of panicked. She found it weird that I'd react in such a way if I just saw her as a friend. Guess I didn't want her to move away?
That's not the first time it's happened though. It happened twice before. Both occasions, it's when I thought that she was distancing herself because she got fed up with all the uncertainty.

Didn't really interact much with her on her birthday because I felt awkward about forgetting her present, and figured she'd be spending time hanging out with our mutual friends. Yet, I usually feel a little down and tend to withdraw myself (even from her) if I see her interacting with others but not me.

After the misunderstanding incident. I told her that I might like her, and I kind of do like the idea of being together...
Having said that, I can't really imagine what we'd be like in a long term relationship or marriage (maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here)

and I'll be honest... the idea of me 'loving someone' in the future seems so foreign to me and kind of freaks me out. I end up wondering, is my friend the one who I want to be with? Is she really the person I'll end up being in a long term relationship and potentially marriage?

Perhaps it's because my feelings are still in the early stage. Then again, maybe the truth is that I just see her as a friend.

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So overall it sounds like I'm an idiot. What the hell. :confused:

[doppelgaenger]

How old are you? 16?

[Sonrisa]

that's one beautiful and colourful post! what was it about?

[xxazurexx]

I think you should just leave her alone and quit pissing around with her feelings and emotions.

She deserves better!

[dono01]

You know, I hate it when people can't make up their mind. Seriously, it's not that hard to make a solid decision.

[Kero]

A solid decision on what?

It's so bloody easy to say: Sure I'll go out with you/I'm not interested in going out.

That's not what I'm talking about. Maybe for you, it's easy to tell when you like someone. But for me, it's bloody difficult telling the difference whether I just see someone as a best friend or whether I see them as something more.

While I appreciate some of the opinions about letting the person Go. It's just ridiculous that you guys can't accept that it's difficult for some people. =.=

[xxazurexx]

^^ Then there is something sadly wrong with you, if you can't figure out who you want be with in 'that' way and who you don't.

Meanwhile though and while you are trying to figure it out, I'd suggest leaving her alone and perhaps she will meet some guy who is able to figure out that he wants her.

[lahnnabell]

You don't have the right to dick her around just because you haven't figured yourself out. Get a handle on your own life first.