Just broke up with Girlfriend should i still be mates?

[pepsi55]

Ok after two long weeks i finally got my ex Girlfriend to sit down and talk and i asked her what was wrong (this is the 2nd time in 4 months she as done this now)

She said to me i love you but at the moment i just don't wnat a searious relationship what you want i can't give you what you need plus im moving to London in 9 months so it would be over then anywaz (we live in leed 4 hour drive)

I said to her why you done this to me i don't understand you wanted us to get back together you have broke my heart again.

She said look im sorry but i can't help how i feel then she went on to say i want us back to how we was before (we used to have the best friendship in the world) we used to talk about anything and she used to tell me anything) then she started getting upset saying i want you to be the first all the time i want to ring you up first if i pass my driving test and i want you to be the same with me i will always love you.

I said to her i dunno i love you to much now for that again i really dunno.

Basically it was left at that..

But now im lost into what to do the truth is i love her to bits and she is a big part of my life in whatever way i look at it but the last time when we first split up eventually i stopped talking to her and txting her and in the end she missed me.

Should i do the same again?

Or should i just be mates with her again the truth is my best mate is moving away so now my girlfriend as left me i don't want to lose her totally aswell in the space of one week but then again i wnat her back because i know deep down she wants me but she won't show it!

so should i leave her and let her miss me again or should i just be mates with her and see what happens from that?


HELPPPPPPPP!

[equivo]

In answer to your topic question: No.

[equivo]

I'm sure a lot of reasons for this will follow from other people.

[TAVS]

Do as I say, not as I do. Forget the friends thing in this scenario. It's not going to achieve anything for you when she's moving away

[equivo]

I'll elaborate a bit. When developing a strong friendship into a romantic relationship, I feel that both parties should resign to the fact that the friendship is very likely to be destroyed from here onwards (or at least very different and not as "good" as it was previously). Usually when friendships continue after a break up, it's because at least one person involved still has feelings for the other. This is bad for that person because the sexual side is lost and they will miss it. Prolonging contact with an ex also means it can take a hell of a lot longer to move on (I speak from experience here).

What you have to consider is, can you get back to a stage of friendship that is as good as it was before the relationship? Will you both be truly happy with a "just friends" situation? It can be very difficult to handle not having the sexual side that has been there for so long, especially if the feelings are still there.
Also will you both be able to deal with one of you moving on to another person. If there is going to be any sort of jealousy etc. in this situation then you can't have a viable friendship really.

[Tone]

What's your age? I didn't read yet and usually I look to see the ages first to decide if I am gonna read the post.

[pepsi55]

What's your age? I didn't read yet and usually I look to see the ages first to decide if I am gonna read the post.

I am 19 she is 20

[pepsi55]

I'll elaborate a bit. When developing a strong friendship into a romantic relationship, I feel that both parties should resign to the fact that the friendship is very likely to be destroyed from here onwards (or at least very different and not as "good" as it was previously). Usually when friendships continue after a break up, it's because at least one person involved still has feelings for the other. This is bad for that person because the sexual side is lost and they will miss it. Prolonging contact with an ex also means it can take a hell of a lot longer to move on (I speak from experience here).

What you have to consider is, can you get back to a stage of friendship that is as good as it was before the relationship? Will you both be truly happy with a "just friends" situation? It can be very difficult to handle not having the sexual side that has been there for so long, especially if the feelings are still there.
Also will you both be able to deal with one of you moving on to another person. If there is going to be any sort of jealousy etc. in this situation then you can't have a viable friendship really.

Thats what i feel i know if im going to be friends with her all i will be thinking is does she want to give it another go.

Im gutted i miss her already i feel like txting her and telling her i miss her.

I was heartbroken the first time now i feel worse the second.

[pepsi55]

Do as I say, not as I do. Forget the friends thing in this scenario. It's not going to achieve anything for you when she's moving away

True but i said to her we can still have a relationship even if your a 4 hour drive away.

She said i love you but i want to go alone i have a future down there and i want to live it,i said cant you involve me in your plans she said no.

I said you missed me when i was on holiday for 2 weeks won't you now im walking away she said i dunno...

One day she loves me the next i might aswell not be around!

[Asip4u]

Dude, what she really means is.."I need to go and find someone else...and even though I still want you in case it doesn't work someplace else, i'm not ready to be with you in any shape or form at this time, but thanks for the good times". Move on and find someone else. Now that she'll be living further away, it'll be hard to have anything meaningful anyhow.

[pepsi55]

Dude, what she really means is.."I need to go and find someone else...and even though I still want you in case it doesn't work someplace else, i'm not ready to be with you in any shape or form at this time, but thanks for the good times". Move on and find someone else. Now that she'll be living further away, it'll be hard to have anything meaningful anyhow.

I thought of that but she said she doesn't want anyone else she still loves me.

I don't understand!

[gHEXjt]

Walk away and go no contact. Being friends will only make you hurt more.

[pepsi55]

Walk away and go no contact. Being friends will only make you hurt more.

will try its going to be hard tho because she is a freind of the family aswell and plus all my mates and hers hang out and we all go clubbing now and again what makes it worse.