Anger and how to deal with it?

[Klim]

Hey, I'm not sure if this is in the right forum, but it made sense to me to put it in here.

Anyway, I am 19 years old. I have been calm and cool-headed up until about a month ago. From that month until now, I've gotten really mad at some things. For example:

I hate school. All we do in classes is waste time, and that's what we did every year before this. It's never productive.

I hate time. I hate being limited to do something in a certain amount of time, when that task normally amounts to nothing.

I've been told, when I was younger, to wait until I actually started doing things with my life. That time is now, and there's nothing I want to do. Loads of things seem pointless and/or wastes of time.

I've been told to be more productive to make things more involving or meaningful. I've done things that SHOULD have and do make me happy, but the biggest problematic thing is school. I've already ranted about school, though, so I won't take up more of your time with school-talk.

I hate not being able to be creative. In school, I can't do the music stuff or other artistic stuff I've dreamed of doing since I was 12.

Now, I've found some ways to deal with anger. I never get mad around other people because they're just like me. Whenever I'm alone and I'm enraged, I do any music stuff (drum, sing, anything else), but that's not always an option. I can't always whip out drumsticks and start tapping away on anything whenever I'm mad in school/public.

Anyway, I have my first girlfriend, dreams of doing fun things, and I spend every free moment I have doing things I consider fun. When that time is up, I feel productive, but I get mad at not being able to have fun.

In the end, I just need a solution or a way to deal with bottled-up anger. I don't know if I provided enough information to give anyone some sort of idea of my situation, since I kind of started ranting and venting about things I dislike, but I hope I could give some sort of background on my current situation. Any thoughts?

Also, thanks in advance.

[Regnent]

Two things to me.
You need to find some sort of... constructive vent. Something you enjoy that you can do to simply relax. No conditions, or expectations.

I think you also need to come to terms with your needs, wants, and responsibility's.
Also doesn't hurt to get a good grasp on choice. At 19, you have alot of choices to make. People don't make things happen for you anymore. There isn't anyone there to make sure you're busy, and on task, or enjoying yourself. These things are now all upon you. You can't dismiss something unpleasant or dissapointing on anyone else anymore.

If you didn't have fun, it was because you didn't make it, or allow it to happen.
If school is feeling pointless, it's because you havn't decided to make it something meaningfull.

I'm going to guess the anger is comming from not understanding why these things, your life, are not fulfilling themselves.

[Klim]

Two things to me.
You need to find some sort of... constructive vent. Something you enjoy that you can do to simply relax. No conditions, or expectations.

I think you also need to come to terms with your needs, wants, and responsibility's.
Also doesn't hurt to get a good grasp on choice. At 19, you have alot of choices to make. People don't make things happen for you anymore. There isn't anyone there to make sure you're busy, and on task, or enjoying yourself. These things are now all upon you. You can't dismiss something unpleasant or dissapointing on anyone else anymore.

If you didn't have fun, it was because you didn't make it, or allow it to happen.
If school is feeling pointless, it's because you havn't decided to make it something meaningfull.

I'm going to guess the anger is comming from not understanding why these things, your life, are not fulfilling themselves.

Well, I've tried to be productive in school and make that build up to something later on in life, but I have no idea how to do that.

As for the rest of your post, that was incredibly helpful. Thanks!

[Regnent]

Well, why are you in school? Do you have an honest to goodness reason to -want- to be in school?
Sounds like you havn't chosen a career path yet, so education doesn't give you any tangible sense of accomplishment.

You like creativity, but are frustrated with not being able to be creative? Some people are honestly, not creative. This -might- be you.
Alternatively, creative expression doesn't always come naturally, and actually has to be learned. If you're impatient with where the efforts are going, you're going to hinder yourself.

[Klim]

Well, why are you in school? Do you have an honest to goodness reason to -want- to be in school?
Sounds like you havn't chosen a career path yet, so education doesn't give you any tangible sense of accomplishment.

You like creativity, but are frustrated with not being able to be creative? Some people are honestly, not creative. This -might- be you.
Alternatively, creative expression doesn't always come naturally, and actually has to be learned. If you're impatient with where the efforts are going, you're going to hinder yourself.

Creativity's not my problem, it's my current solution to anger. I'm awesome with any art form except drawing, but I haven't found any way to put that skill to use. That's what irritates me: I can't really do anything artistic in school.

Also, I don't really want to be in school. I never did, and I don't now. I just got through it because I had to do something. I couldn't just stay home and make music and play video games all day, every day. Anyway, I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and that's what I heard most people my age say. Whether that's true or not, I don't know.

[Regnent]

You don't need a use for art stuff. If you're happy doing it, then that's all that matters.
The whole school/job thing is often just a necessity.

Have you explored alternativly creative things for schooling?

There's alot of fields that have higher potential for creativity than others.

Hell, almost any craft. Woodworking, blacksmithy (more old school, but they STILL kick around), even something like mechanical engineering.

[AirbenderAang]

Here some necessary words that you must consider. What does it mean to be productive?
If you could wake up tomorrow and find yourself living the perfect life what would it look like?

Then most importantly, why don't you wake up tomorrow and start living a better life?

My guess is that you will say that you can't. Others may say that you shouldn't, but that doesn't mean that you can't. You can do whatever you want, but there is always consequences. It seems to me that you don't want to deal with the consequences of change, that or part of you doesn't really want to change.

It is all to easy to be mad at the world and others. Heck, they may even deserve. Yet, it does not do much us good to dwell on actions of others. Start paying attention to the power you have to change your perception, to change your behavior, and most importantly, to change your future.

[Hannu]

I suggest seeking help from an NLP Coach or attending an NLP Practitioner course. Just make sure the coach/trainer is licensed by Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP.