Guilt and Sadness

[mojo1971]

I lost my girlfriend because I lost my mind. I got laid off in 2009 and went back to school. During that time I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman. Couldn't find a job for years. I slipped into the worst depression of my life. I had no pride, no self esteem, no identity...I didn't feel life was worth living. I was suicidal but never attempted. My girlfriend was my savior during it all but I was so bitter and angry with myself, I didn't like myself at all, that I treated her horribly. Years of that treatment towards her took it toll. She had to be the caregiver and the strong one for so long that she doesn't want to do it anymore. I just recently got a great job and realized just how bad off I had become. It's hard for me to live with myself for losing my mind during the crisis I endured. All I want is the chance now to give all the love back that I took for granted when I was going off the deep end. Can major hardships change the person going through it and can they change back to the nice person they were before things got bad?

[Rowen]

Can major hardships change the person going through it and can they change back to the nice person they were before things got bad?

In answer to your questions, yes they can change a person. Sometimes, they can change them in good ways, and sometimes they can change them in bad ways... It all depends on the choice(s) that the person going through said hardship makes. And sometimes, yes, they can change back. But it takes effort and dedication. But, depending on what the hardship is, perhaps they can't.. It really depends on the person and the circumstances..

As for your predicament, though, I think the best thing for both you and your ex is to move on in your separate directions. I'm going to assume that she dumped you, and if that's the case, remember that she made her decision. If she wanted you back, she'd come to you.. I know it's difficult to handle, but that doesn't make it any less true.. If you love her as much as you say you do, let her go. Respect her happiness and continue to fulfill your own happiness. I know it hurts..and I know that what I'm saying is easier said than done. But that's what you need to do.. :S

[Valixy]

It sounds as if the purpose of your encounter in this life has been fulfilled and it's time to start a new adventure. She doesn't love you in a romantic way anymore but has been by your side for quite some time feeling a different kind of love, that lacked the joy and passion that should be felt in a relationship. Now that things are finally better for you, she feels that she can leave as you can start taking good care of yourself. Do that. Try to live as well as you can, don't hesitate to look for professional help to guide you in this new chapter of your life and let her have her freedom back as she pleases. You also have yours back and you ought to try to make the best of it. Good luck.

[bitconfuzed]

If I was you, I'd try to get her back! That is, if you really are in love with her still. I would show her that you still care for her in a hidden way. Then, if that doesn't work, move on.