She Didn't Want To, But She Did

[TJ55]

Hello, my name is T.J. and I'm new to the forums. I have recently had my heart completely shattered.

One of my best female friends and I decided we would try going on a date since we both had feelings for each other and well it went almost perfect. We started going out more often which was still usually only once a week since she lives in a town about a 30 minute drive away. Last Monday, we went on a date and it was probably the best night of my life, we began to get physical with each other and she told me after I went home that she wanted to make love next time, and I finally felt ready because I actually loved her I never actually had that much desire for anyone before, I am a virgin at the age of 19 by the way.

There wasn't a next time though the next day after we exchanged a few loving and intimate text messages that morning she told me that her mother had told her something. Her mother told her that we shouldn't be together because her mother believes she is holding me back (she's still in high school) and that I'm keeping her from focusing on school and experiencing high school fully. I would find this whole thing a little suspicious if it weren't for the story of her parents relationship, they were the same ages (19 and 16) when her mother got pregnant and kept her father from going to college on a full ride scholarship so it makes sense that they would worry about the two of us being so close at this age (by the way 16 is the age of consent in my state).

So the day after this, she texts me after my baseball game and says that the timing just isn't right because of the school stuff her mother planted in her brain and then that she wanted to give me her all but she just couldn't right now and she broke up with me. Said I was her best friend, that she hopes we can continue this relationship some time and has consistently talked about wanting a future with me. I still tell her I lover her and she still tells me she loves me without a doubt. She cried the last few times we really talked on the phone and seemed nervous as can be when we saw each other.

I just don't know what to do right now. She's the only girl I want, only girl I love and I'm so heartbroken, but I know she is too, she's told me. I tried to not text her today but she ended up texting me first and we had one of the many meaningful conversations we've shared.

I want her to stay in my life and want a relationship in the future, actually want one now but I know it's not realistic. I understand her parent's concerns but I just don't agree with their interfering in their daughter's life that way, even though I realize they think it's for the better. It's just torture on me and on her.

I'm just confused I guess, which seems natural for someone of my age but this just adds to everything.

[flynhayn]

I feel you man.... I've experienced the same thing myself only we are in our Mid-twenties and both out of college starting our careers. But still very similar to your situation, except the girl i was talking to chose to pursue her career instead of a relationship all on her own. So i get the feeling of abandonment that you're going through. But what you have going for you, is that YOU ARE 19 YEARS OLD. I know it gets annoying hearing that because you feel like you've accomplished so much already, but you have no idea. I hated hearing that too when i was that age, but trust me... you will see what we are all talking about a few years from now. You have basically no experience, no knowledge, no lessons learned, and very little standards.... and neither does she. Her mother is sort of correct.... getting too involved right now will seriously hold you back SOMEHOW... whether it's your life choices, or emotional growth, its just too soon. Get out and experience life..... and always remember that what's meant to be will be. Love always wins. I'm sure you've heard the saying "everything happens for a reason", and thats no BS. You'll recognize that to be the truth very soon. Keep your head up man, things are going to get real good for you.

[Boisdevie]

if you are 19 then parents can get told to mind their own business. When I was 19 years old ( a looooong time ago) if my parents tried to dictate my life to methen I would ignore them.

[Dune]

You two sound really sweet together. All that's needed now is some patience, some perseverance and a WHOLE lot of love. Keep communication open between each other. So what if there's no bf/gf label? Just go on loving each other and enjoy every moment of it. As for high school? Prioritize on it. If you two want a good future together, education is of utmost importance. Maybe give yourself a sweet reminder that you're working/studying hard for her and your future together with her.

[TJ55]

if you are 19 then parents can get told to mind their own business. When I was 19 years old ( a looooong time ago) if my parents tried to dictate my life to methen I would ignore them.

It's her parents, not mine. She's not an adult.

Great points flynhayn, I like that post a lot and Dune, that's a great way to think of it too, I can focus my college studies that way, I hope she can think that way about high school.

[missquinn86]

why don't you give her mum a call? You can explain the situation to her-tell her that you care for her daughter alot...her mum sounds like she's way too over protective