This is my first time posting on a relationship forum and I really hope I can find at the very least some words of encouragement from people in similar situations.
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. We've had a lot of ups and a lot of downs. I'm both blessed and cursed by being able to forgive and forget easily, and I've gotten over most of our issues and disagreements. But the thing that I can't seem to forget is how insensitive my boyfriend is to my feelings. I won't lie, I'm a deeply emotional person (I blame it on astrology and heredity) and I'll admit my emotional expectations are higher than most males can dish out. However, it seems that no matter how much I voice my feelings and communicate my issues with my boyfriend, he keeps doing the same things over and over to bring down our relationship. We don't fight about many different things, but we fight about the same issues constantly, with no solution. All I get at the end of an argument is "I'm sorry. I'm trying to be a better boyfriend." After a year and no signs of change, I'm quickly losing hope. It's not a secret that my boyfriend is completely incapable of communicating, whether it's something as superficial as making plans for dinner, or something deeper. He never has anything to say and can't put any of his feelings into words. I know that most guys have this problem, but I figured if he can't say it, maybe he can show it. I'm still waiting for either.
I've also noticed that even after a year, he still doesn't understand that everything he does affects me. For instance, he and I were going to attend a hockey game next week but since he has to work the day of the game and wouldn't make it home in time, we decided that we wouldn't go. Today he tells me that he is going to the game with his friend because his friend bought tickets. I really wanted to go to that game, and I was bummed out that we couldn't. But he ignored that, didn't think of my feelings at all, and is now going out with his friend. He has a bad habit of putting his friends before me in everything. I understand he's known some of them for as long as I've been alive, but if they have been there for 20+ years, they're going to be there even if he can't see them as much as when he was single. I've tried in many ways to tell him that romantic relationships are much more work than friendships, but he apparently doesn't understand that. It's like he lives and breathes for the approval of his friends while throwing my opinions and emotional needs out the window.
I guess what I'm wondering is if this is a common occurrence. I've only been in a handful of relationships in my life and I've had many a problem, but not blatant insensitivity like I'm experiencing now. I'm running out of ways to express my concern for his inability to communicate his feelings and understand my issues with how he acts. I almost feel greedy complaining about this stuff because things could be way worse and he could be a cheater or abusive. But I'm constantly put down by things that he does and it's starting to affect other aspects of my life. Is there hope? How do you teach someone to communicate and care about another person?