How very bizarre

[Horseyguy]

I was seeing this girl for a couple of months and ended it with her because she could only see me as a friend. What she actually said was she woke up next to me one morning and saw her best friend lying there and after that she started to pull away.

And because I didn't want to end up in the same boat as last time (being with someone that didn't feel the same way about me) I thought best to end it and we agreed we would just stay friends because we hadn't been dating that long and we do get along really well. The issue for her was she just wasn't feeling the chemistry between us although everything else was great. So I'm like cool, whatever but lets leave it for a bit and catch up in the new year.

She hasn't said she wants to get back with me and I don't want to get back with her because frankly it's all too hard

Anyyyyywayyyyyy

So how surprised was I to get this email (below) and if that's how she feels about me then I don't really get what her problem was? I'd die to be with someone I felt like that about.

Ladies, what the **** is going on here?


To a most darling man ,

I have hesitated in writing this because in my heart I know it to be the last communication between for some time ( I dont like that bit at all!!!!) , and Im finding it quite hard to say goodbye. You have certainly made an impression and when I think of you I am filled with warmth, care and sadness.

The content of who you are is something to be enormously proud of.

I wanted to wait until the tears got a little less frequent before I wrote this because I have been an emotional noodle and every time I tried to write something I ended up wet with tears , snotting into tissues .

I was thinking today that you are worth every bit of the pain . It seems to come in waves and I do my best to relax into the feeling and know Im experiencing it because of a good man ( I know you hate the good man title but I love it ) .

I dont quite know how to thank you for all that you have done for me. You have been a beautiful and caring friend and lover. I trust you implicitly and have learnt so much just from being with you . Sweetheart you have shown me who I can be and what my value is and i miss you something awful . Im very aware of how solid you felt beside me.

There are big gaps in my day that you used to fill , I struggle in those moments and find I have to surround myself with people to be ok . The drive in the car sucks without having you take me to my destination.
It makes me feel even worse when I think you may be experiencing it to and I cant be the one to make it better. Of course there is always the possibility that your doing ok. Dont want to presume .

Darling your so ****ing fantastic , you are smart , wise , funny , caring , emotionally open , a gifted thinker and a joy to be around (and again I miss you ). Most importantly I believe in you , I want you to remember that when your thinking may tell you otherwise.

I want to be able to say some girl is going to be lucky to have you but Im not quite as evolved as you and I dont really like the image of you with some one else just yet . (she will though)

So dearest man I too wish you the biggest , fattest, fabulous farewell.

Good luck with the move , I look forward to the new year , of coming over and hanging in your new home surrounded by crappy Asian furniture. (smile)

Take as long as you need to heal , I will be here waiting ( just hurry up )

You are priceless

Much love xxxxxxxx

[rafterman]

What about the girl that called you from the coffee shop?

[Horseyguy]

What about the girl that called you from the coffee shop?

Yeah I'm still seeing her but I just wanted to get somone's take on that email and yes I know it doesn't matter because I dumped her, and yes I know I'm not getting back with her etc etc but I'm still not sure of what to make of it which is why I'm asking.

[Jenswaiting]

I think she loves you and wants you to forgive her. Nevermind her though if you've moved on. I suggest you let her know.

[Horseyguy]

Not sure about that Jens. If she did why let me go in the first place?

I don't get it. That's twice that's happened to me now. I end it because it was / I was not what they wanted and then they both sent me emails like that. As I said very bizarre

[Yet another guy]

Not sure about that Jens. If she did why let me go in the first place?

Probably because she doesn't / didn't know what she really wants. I agree with Jens. Seems like right now she wants you back. It would be nice of you to tell her you've moved on.

[pisces25]

Not sure about that Jens. If she did why let me go in the first place?

I don't get it. That's twice that's happened to me now. I end it because it was / I was not what they wanted and then they both sent me emails like that. As I said very bizarre

Because she was scared. And didn't know what she had until she lost it.

[rafterman]

Because she was scared. And didn't know what she had until she lost it.

Yeah I can probably relate to that....sometimes seperation makes you realise that.....Having said that, yeah the email has a strange twist to it.

[Horseyguy]

Bugger.. If that's right, I wish I'd have known that's how she really felt

I really really liked her as well. Dumped her out of self preservation after she pulled the I just want to be friends card on me

I even gave her time to figure out what she wanted, no pressure, take whatever time you need and let me know and she called me back 3 days later and said she wanted to be friends so I left it at that

And now she sends me that ... FML

[Horseyguy]

Mind you .. good reference

[Wakeup]

I think she loves you and wants you to forgive her. Nevermind her though if you've moved on. I suggest you let her know.

... and I think she's an emotionally immature manipulator. If she loved you and she was mature, Hg i'm thinking she would have said |I miss you and I love you and this time apart has told be that I love you more than a friend. What do you think, can we make a go of this?" or something similar. She's done none of that. The only thing she's done is **** with your mind.

She sounds like a bit of a whanker if ya ask me. Why send that? You've already had the conversation that you'd be friends but would wait until the new year to get over any lust. She just wants to rent space in your head for free. She may be short on lovers at the moment and would probably take you to bed right now but she's too immature to just say "lets hook up."

That's my take on it

P.S. She likes you as a person.. that part at least is quite obvious. If you really like her then you better not do any FWBennies with her, she'll break your heart. If you really like her. Call her up and ask her what her intentions were with that letter. Don't let her play mind games with you. Keep her on topic and don't let her be the least bit ambiguous.

It seems the nuts and the players always come back for more. They love the push/pull drama.

[rafterman]

^^^ ok Yeah does she know about "coffee shop girl".??? I need to know, to offer possible reason for random email???

[Horseyguy]

No she has no idea about the coffee shop girl because I'm NC with her and staying that way

And I hear ya Wakeup and don't worry I'll not dwell on it any longer just wanted to figure out why she would even send it but it doesn't really matter I guess. I'm done with chics that can't make up their mind. I know I'm special so no point telling me that a few weeks after I dump em lol

[Jenswaiting]

I simplified my post earlier as I was called away. From the email she sent she decided she felt that way after the relationship ended. What the hell she thought she was doing by sending you an email this far down the line is beyond me. Wakeup is right, she is an emotional manipulator.

I wonder though, if this isn't the first time it's happened to you, maybe you're attracting these types of women? I only mention this because I've noticed that I keep attracting men who are emotionally unstable or not willing to commit. Hence the reason why I'm not dating right now. Anyhow I hope coffeeshop girl isn't similar. G'luck!

[Horseyguy]

actually Jens it's not the first time. Karen the ex of 18 months did near enough exactly the same thing.

Told me she didn't know if she wanted to be in a relationship after 12 months because her dog got sick and then strung me along for another 5 months before I finaly ended it.

Afterwards she said she wanted to remain friends which I turned her down and then got a flurry of emails from her telling me how wonderful I am, how she would never find anyone like me and how she would always wonder about us etc.

Maybe I'm just atracting the wrong type.

I'm hoping coffeeshop girl breaks the cycle seeing as she asked me out