Please advise me.

[coolisme]

Hello,

I have a crush on this girl I've been chatting with for like 6 months now, the problem is, she wants to be just friends she even told me days ago that she has a crush on someone else I told her that day that I have a crush on her (which I think it's a big mistake) But I didn't sound like desperate or anything I even asked her about the other guy that she like and gave me his blog.

The story (short).

(she broke up with her BF for almost 4 months when we met)

We started like everyone else by chatting for a few minutes after a month or two of getting to know each other she was asking me question like "What'd you do when your GF do this and do that... would you support her, etc"

Then we started talking on the phone for hours and hours, she was telling me everything about her, her family, her friends, we were like we've known each other for years, I'm a good friend to her and I like her but I wasn't saying anything considering her break up

One day after four months of talking to each other online and phone she called me and said "I love you" I was shocked (I like her but didn't say anything even when she was asking me question about GF relationships I was just answering, which I think they were hints or something)

We've gotten closer and she says the words again and I say them back, hugs, and kisses)

To be honest I liked her more and wanted to be more than just friends, we live in different cities, not that far, I don't mind meeting her, she asked me, but due to bad timing and working I couldn't, but I'm willing and I'm meeting her next month. (we shred pictures, webcam we know how we look)
--

What I'm looking for is how to deal with this after my disaster of telling her
my feelings. Do I stay friends, do less contact, keep doing what I'm doing till she has a change of mind... I'm confused and I'm trying to control my feelings for not being sad, etc.

(We still chat normally I think. The next days will show if anything would change.)

also I'm wondering about something whenever I disappear for a day or two or not talking to her while I'm online or on the phone she come to me and asks what's wrong, why do you do this, I miss you, I love you. Does that mean anything or just..

Sorry about my english, still learning.

Any advice will help.

Thanks.

[Artemis]

Let me get this straight. The girl told you she loves you and all that jazz, but when you say you have a crush on her, she tells you she likes someone else? Is that the way it is?

If so, the girl is toxic and doesn't care about your feelings, is my first reaction. She only cares about keeping you around as long as you're there for her, not if she has to be there for you. In that case she's really not worth it. But if I misread anything, let me know.

[wizduels]

if i knew how old the both of you are it would help alot when giving advice.

[coolisme]

Thanks for the reply.

We are in the 20s. I'm wondering about what to do, should I keep being friends or break it off if there is no hope. Or should I ask her about the situation again in more serious meeting or something,


Thanks.

[wizduels]

well i'm 35 and have some dating experience and i hate to tell you this but its the hard truth:

girls in their 20's are flaky as hell, distracted and easily attracted to the next best thing. there are always exceptions but generally speaking it is true. in a woman's 20's she is young and vibrant, life is new and she's ready to experience the wide world and everything she thinks it has to offer her.

just know that if you get involved with a girl in her 20's, it might last a while and be quite fun, but odds are it won't last forever. the sooner you accept this the better off you will be. as a guy dating in your 20's, date alot of girls. when it does not work out with one as you know it will not, be glad you had the opportunity to experience something wonderful with that girl and then move on. use this time to get develop the social skills you will need to manage and enjoy a much more serious relationship when you get older.

[curves222]

You should emotionally distance yourself from her until you can meet her. I'm not saying don't chat to her or call her. But keep your chat/call sessions short. Once you all meet, things should be more clear. Assuming the meeting goes well, have a talk with her about dating exclusively.

(Your English is excellent, btw , certainly better than my Catalan, lol)

[coolisme]

Thanks for the reply.

Do you think that she might change her mind based on what we have now? I'm being distanced lately (Not calling her, just answering when she calls. not being online as much)

Not sure what to do. If you can give more of what you think about this ladies, would be great.

Thanks again.