if you had an ex who tried to hurt/kill themselves would you..

[Exeter19]

distance yourself from them, or make more of an effort to talk, spend time with them, whether that be irl or online if is was a ldr?
i don't get why a person would distance themselves from someone they once loved, if they need friends even more, to show they care, unless the person feels guilty?
what do you all think?

distance yourself or get closer?

[dickriculous]

One of my early girlfriends sent me several hundred suicide threats via text in about a week's time after I broke up with her and being young and dumb and full of cum as I was I tried to play the white knight for her. Several of those texts were pictures of cuts on her wrist that she said were because of me. All my white knighting did was exacerbate the problem, it kept making her do more and more crazy shit in order to get us back together and the fallout at the end damn near left me scarred for life.

What I didn't know at the time is that in some states coercing someone via threats of suicide is like third or fourth degree assault. Personally I don't even think it should be a lesser "degree" of anything as I really don't think this is any better than trying to coerce someone via physical violence but either way if this shit happens again I'm going straight to the police. If I can't press third or fourth degree assault charges then I'll file for a restraining order.

[Valixy]

I'd personally make an effort for some time and try to offer some support even if I'd be honest about my feelings.

I know that many people say that it shouldn't be your problem, and maybe they're right, but I wouldn't be able not trying to help my ex knowing that he's having such a hard time. I wouldn't want to do that forever but I would be there for some time if he needed closure or help to move on with his life.

[Rowen]

I'd offer support as a friend and encourage them to get some help if they haven't already...but that's just the logical thing to me..

[pcmaster]

I once was killing myself in front of a girl I loved. Working 12 hours a day and sleeping 3. Just a few words from her would made me stop but I got nothing except pitty look.
Strange how people who needs love the most are the ones who go without.

[smackie9]

If they threaten suicide because of me, I would contact one of their close friends or a family member, tell them what's going on, and put the responsibility onto them.

If not my husband would find it inappropriate for me to be involved with an ex....and I would have to agree. I have moved on, they are no longer a part of my life anyways.

[basilandthyme]

My ex-husband attempted suicide after I left him. I let his best friend know. I didn't get involved any further.

Not getting involved wasn't about guilt. Instead it was because it would just prolong his not being able to manage without me. If he needs help, it should be from a mental health professional and not an ex.

Also, by the time I left he'd alienated his friends and I was the only one left. This was one of the reasons I left! I don't see why I should feel obliged to pick up the pieces when he was the one who dumped his other support network.

[TheEvilJester]

I think it really kind of depends. If you two were generally in a normal, healthy relationship and just broke up over normal things that break up relationships, then I would say you should maybe support them to a degree. If there were no hard feelings beyond the typical stuff from a break-up, then, to me, it would almost seem the right thing to do.

Personally, though, in my case, my ex was not very good for me. It took me a long time to realize that, and then a long time to admit to myself that I deserved better. She didn't appreciate me then, and bordered on what could be called emotional abuse in the first place. Now that I am out of that relationship, I can't see doing anything but keeping her at arm's length at best. I have no desire to see her or keep in contact with her. Were she to suddenly contact me about being suicidal, or something like that, I'd maybe urge her to get help, perhaps tell one of her friends or family. If it seemed bad enough, I'd consider alterting the police just for her own good.

But, I would not personally get involved. Quite frankly, it just isn't healthy for me. Maybe that sounds selfish. I don't know, but I really don't care either. I've been through too much crap in my life, and have lived too much of my life thinging of myself as a worthless nothing. I am finally starting to see myself through the eyes of my friends and family who care about me, instead of the negative picture I have always seen of myself. I am finally starting to learn that I do deserve to be happy. Being forced back into her constant drama, even in small part, would just be detrimental to my own health. So, agian, I would do what I could to make sure she got help, but would not get directly involved.

[pcmaster]

I would talk to them until I see some improvment. If she wouldnt listen to me then I would suggest doctor or take them to doctor with force if I have to.

[searock]

If someone attempts suicide, there's nothing anyone can do to help them, apart from a mental health professional. Getting involved would achieve nothing but drag me down as well. So, no, I would definitely not get involved. It would also be enabling to them - they will think that their plea for attention has worked and they will continue to guilt-manipulate me by hurting themselves. It's so unhealthy.

[KingZ]

Standard Republican/searock mentality.

But by all means, let's play the liberal douchebag and tell people when their SO is being a shitty SO.

[basilandthyme]

What about the whole issue of a suicide attempt as a method to get the ex to return? If we try to help them, then we're just getting sucked back in to all the manipulation.

[Rowen]

What about the whole issue of a suicide attempt as a method to get the ex to return? If we try to help them, then we're just getting sucked back in to all the manipulation.

^ Agreed. Plus, it shows that they don't have the mental stability to handle a relationship... Like...say they meant it and you got back with them, only to die in a tragic car accident two days later. ...What then? Awful situation.

[KingZ]

What about the whole issue of a suicide attempt as a method to get the ex to return? If we try to help them, then we're just getting sucked back in to all the manipulation.

You talkin' to me, punk?

[basilandthyme]

Do you feel lucky punk?

Actually, I didn't understand your last post sufficiently to address it.