Was I right to end it?

[chlohee]

Hello. I know a lot of people will think, "Only you can decide if it's right to end it," but I'd appreciate if you nonetheless gave me an unbiased view. Thank you in advance!

Two days ago I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years, the main reasons being as follows:

• I couldn't see us having a future together (he wanted children and I don't, conversation was already running dry)
• He wanted a physically dominated relationship, I wanted an emotionally dominated relationship
• Even whilst we were together, I sometimes questioned why
• we share no common interests or hobbies

That all seems pretty bad yet for the first two and a half years, we worked perfectly being polar opposites in our wants and personalities. This is why I'm not sure I made the right decision.
I know he loved and still loves me very much, but I am beginning to question whether I just feel comfortable with him now or if I am still in love with him. He is a lovely guy with manners and a sweet charming personality, and so there is nothing bad about his character that needs to be taken into account. However, what finally made me break up with him was me questioning if I was being selfish to keep him in a relationship in which I'm 70% sure Will not work 5 or 6 more years down the line as I know there is definitely a girl out there who Will suit him much more than I do.

My last point to make is that both of us have been VERY stressed due to exams, and I can't tell if its just the stress that's making me feel like this as I've never been stressed before.

Thank you very much for any reply! Please just answer freely what your opinion is, I want to see what an unbiased person says!

[searock]

Are you in love with him?

If the answer is't "100% yes, of course I am", then you did the right thing.

[smackie9]

No you did the right thing. You definitely need strong compatibility for a relationship last for the long haul, because those fluttery in love feelings (honeymoon stage) fades, and by sharing the same interests and passions keeps you deeply connected which is so crucial for love to last. So let this be a lesson learned when you are ready to start looking for a BF. Lay it all out on the table your expectations like kids or no kids, marriage or no marriage, how long you are willing to wait, want to travel first? etc.

I ran into the same thing as you. My ex wanted to get married and have kids..not me. He would beg and keep at me about it, trying to convince me to at least one. uuuuugh! how I hated that. I wanted out, but he would practically be hanging onto my leg as I walked out the door. I prob would have had to beat him off with a bat or something but instead I kept staying.

I had to dump him via note in the mailbox with his house key in order to do it lol.

[bcgirl]

At the beginning of the relationship it's always rainbows and butterflies. You r getting to know one another and may have lots of things to talk about, but after years even the slightest differences start to present itself. Something at the beginning that may have seemed minor can really start getting on your nerves. If you don't see a future with him, why stay with him any longer. Allow him to find someone who wants to have children with him

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, you did the right thing. It's far better to end an incompatible relationship, no matter how comfortable you are in it, than to waste valuable time with someone that ultimately will not meet your needs.

Think about it this way:

Neither of you were getting what you wanted. At some point this would foster resentment. When resentment festers long-term, it usually leads to loathing or at best, indifference and you would've ended up breaking up anyhow... perhaps after wasting 10 or 20 years. You could've met the man of your dreams in that 20 years and been unavailable... and take it from someone who's been there, THAT SUCKS.