How Can I Stop Being Clingy

[PokerHead]

Hi Guys,
Me and my GF are madly in love. We've been going out for over a year and a half. I feel like I depend on her more than she depends on me because she is more outgoing etc...

We've been seeing less of one another recently because she has exams and I have more work now. However, I feel like I'm being too clingy via text messages, calling her etc... even thinking about her so much now seems like I'm being too clingy.

Any advice on how I can cut down on the quantity and get more QUALITY?

Any responses much appreciated

[girl68]

You're obviously not busy enough.

Get busy, with shit YOU like to do.

[bloodtippedrose]

^ Cant agree more


keep yourself busy doing everything you love to do and distract yourself from thinking about her every second of the day. Love is a tango, when you take a step back she should take a step forward and call or text you.

[CocoChanel]

Get a life. That's how.

[RepeatingShot]

Find someone who is also clingy.

You will be the happiest man alive

[bloodtippedrose]

coco's in a bad mood ;P

[Aeradalia]

Find someone who is also clingy.

You will be the happiest man alive

Clingy people tend to smother too much. Even clingy people can't tolerate the excessive loss of privacy and space to just be themselves.

The only way to remedy excessive clinginess is to learn to trust in other people and to learn how to be more independent.

[PokerHead]

Thanks guys!

Oh, an CoCo...I DO have a life. The thing is that everyone has little things about themselves that they'd like to improve

Go buy a lollipop...it'll make you feel more cheerie Coco

[CocoChanel]

Elaborate Aera because he might not have a trust issue.

[CocoChanel]

Thanks guys!

Oh, an CoCo...I DO have a life. The thing is that everyone has little things about themselves that they'd like to improve

Go buy a lollipop...it'll make you feel more cheerie Coco

Really?
What flavor Lollipop do you recommend PokerHead?

[Aeradalia]

Elaborate Aera because he might not have a trust issue.

Of course he has a trust issue... that is the very focal point of clinginess. The fear that the one they love will leave --- they can't trust the person to stay of their own accord so they feel compelled to do things for them, be around as often as possible, and want to know what their thoughts are so they can somehow keep that person from leaving.

If they trusted the person then they wouldn't mind giving the person their space, because they would trust the person to stay with them. Should that person leave anyway, then their heart simply wasn't in the relationship to start with... something unavoidable and uncontrollable even if you were to do everything "right."

Clinginess has a nasty habit of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. They fear the person will leave so they cling tighter to the person -- so tight they start to smother the person emotionally. This forces the one they love to have to make a decision, either live in misery or leave. Naturally, they leave.

[CocoChanel]

You are effing smart

[RepeatingShot]

Of course he has a trust issue... that is the very focal point of clinginess. The fear that the one they love will leave --- they can't trust the person to stay of their own accord so they feel compelled to do things for them, be around as often as possible, and want to know what their thoughts are so they can somehow keep that person from leaving.

If they trusted the person then they wouldn't mind giving the person their space, because they would trust the person to stay with them. Should that person leave anyway, then their heart simply wasn't in the relationship to start with... something unavoidable and uncontrollable even if you were to do everything "right."

Clinginess has a nasty habit of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. They fear the person will leave so they cling tighter to the person -- so tight they start to smother the person emotionally. This forces the one they love to have to make a decision, either live in misery or leave. Naturally, they leave.

Unless, the clingy person just really loves the other person and wants to spend all their time with them. Sort of like an obsession, love the person so much that they want them all the time. It doesn't have to be a trust issue, you know.


Anyway, I still say - if you are clingy, find another clingy person. You will both spend all your damn time together and be happy about it.

What some call 'smothering', others call 'spending time together'

and that's all I have to say about that.

[Aeradalia]

Unless, the clingy person just really loves the other person and wants to spend all their time with them. Sort of like an obsession, love the person so much that they want them all the time. It doesn't have to be a trust issue, you know.

Obsession is merely a symptom... it's not a cause. The root cause is still a trust issue. A person wouldn't go out of their way to do all of these things without getting something in return. In this case, they're hoping to get trust in return... a guarantee that the person won't leave.