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Thread: Any advice on this problem would be greatly appreciated.

  1. #1
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    Any advice on this problem would be greatly appreciated.

    I'm not exactly what you would call 'good' on this whole dating thing. So...I have a scenario here that perplexes me as to whether or not I should pursue a dating relationship with her. Any advice you all have to offer would be great.

    At my college, there is this one girl that I am just absolutely enchanted with. For the past 4-5 weeks I've been doing my best to flirt with her. Well, some interesting things have happened recently, and I am not quite sure how to read these signals she is giving me.

    1) She is generally around me more: sitting next to me at class and eating lunch with me.

    2) I went to dinner with her once...but some of my other friends were present.

    3) She tells me she has a boyfriend (without me even asking her about it)...then tells me that she is planning to break up with him a week or two later.

    4) She calls me up after she breaks up with him, and asks me to make her smile. Then she invites me over for dinner and a movie.

    5) She then cancels the dinner/movie invitation 14 hours after she initially asked me...saying that other people who were going cancelled.

    6) Other people keep saying (from their observations) that I "have a chance."

    Ok, that is what has happened so far. Here is some additional information that may help you guys give me your decision. I am generally a funny guy, so she laughs at ALOT of my jokes. If there is no seat open around me, she doesn't even sit in the same row. Oh, and we're planning another day to go get some dinner.


    Does this sound more like a 'friend' kinda thing...or should I try and ask her out and make it an official date. Are these obvious signals...or am I making a big deal about nothing?

    Any help at all would be greatly appreaciated.

  2. #2
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    i think u should bite the bullet, go for it and ask her straight up, cos this will clear ur problems and maybe problems that she is finding with u

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisTheMan
    Does this sound more like a 'friend' kinda thing...or should I try and ask her out and make it an official date. Are these obvious signals...or am I making a big deal about nothing?

    Any help at all would be greatly appreaciated.
    What does this sound like to you? That's the most important thing... Do you want this to be an official date or a 'friend kinda thing'? And most importantly do you like this girl and would you date her?

    Take action based on your answers to above questions...
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

  4. #4
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    "Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun"

    Chris, you need to ask, or you may never begin.
    Better by far you should forget and smile
    Than that you should remember and be sad.

    A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.

    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by ike
    "Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun"

    Chris, you need to ask, or you may never begin.
    Good point! I'm just gonna go for it!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisTheMan
    I'm not exactly what you would call 'good' on this whole dating thing. So...I have a scenario here that perplexes me as to whether or not I should pursue a dating relationship with her. Any advice you all have to offer would be great.

    At my college, there is this one girl that I am just absolutely enchanted with. For the past 4-5 weeks I've been doing my best to flirt with her. Well, some interesting things have happened recently, and I am not quite sure how to read these signals she is giving me.

    1) She is generally around me more: sitting next to me at class and eating lunch with me.

    2) I went to dinner with her once...but some of my other friends were present.

    3) She tells me she has a boyfriend (without me even asking her about it)...then tells me that she is planning to break up with him a week or two later.

    4) She calls me up after she breaks up with him, and asks me to make her smile. Then she invites me over for dinner and a movie.

    5) She then cancels the dinner/movie invitation 14 hours after she initially asked me...saying that other people who were going cancelled.

    6) Other people keep saying (from their observations) that I "have a chance."

    Ok, that is what has happened so far. Here is some additional information that may help you guys give me your decision. I am generally a funny guy, so she laughs at ALOT of my jokes. If there is no seat open around me, she doesn't even sit in the same row. Oh, and we're planning another day to go get some dinner.


    Does this sound more like a 'friend' kinda thing...or should I try and ask her out and make it an official date. Are these obvious signals...or am I making a big deal about nothing?

    Any help at all would be greatly appreaciated.
    I dunno who I feel sorry for more, you or the girl. Poor girl, she has given you the most obvious hints of all time and you come to a forum to ask for advice?

    Tell you what, if everything you said was true, then I'll bet my life on it that she will say yes to you faster than the speed of light squared.

    Don't be a fool, muster up a few ounces of courage and ask her out. Delay not. Call her right now. I do mean now.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by MastaPDiddy
    I dunno who I feel sorry for more, you or the girl. Poor girl, she has given you the most obvious hints of all time and you come to a forum to ask for advice?

    Tell you what, if everything you said was true, then I'll bet my life on it that she will say yes to you faster than the speed of light squared.

    Don't be a fool, muster up a few ounces of courage and ask her out. Delay not. Call her right now. I do mean now.
    Ok, I sent her txt message asking her out a little bit ago. Still waiting on the verdict

    wish me luck

  8. #8
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    well...3 hours since i sent the text message. one more hour then I become a priest.

  9. #9
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    She could be working or something don't fret... just give her some time... But next time it's better to call and talk in person than send a text message!
    If you can't handle the thorns, don't crave the rose!!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosebud
    She could be working or something don't fret... just give her some time... But next time it's better to call and talk in person than send a text message!
    Yeah, good idea. I guess a text message wasn't the brightest idea. I guess I shoulda just waited to do it in person so I could have read some body language or something.

  11. #11
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    yep.. that's always the best. If you don't hear from her I would try giving her a call but don't go overboard and like blow up her phone or anything..
    If you can't handle the thorns, don't crave the rose!!

  12. #12
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    Haha...ok. I think I might just wait until I run into her tommorrow at class...and hope that it won't be too awkward. Thanks for your help Rosebud!

    Hopefully I didn't mess this up!

  13. #13
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    Nah.. I'm sure things are still good. Good Luck!
    If you can't handle the thorns, don't crave the rose!!

  14. #14
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    Good news!

    She didn't have her cell phone on her when I texted her, so she couldn't respond.
    Anyways, she read the message late and didn't want to respond so late at night. She wasn't sure if the date/time I suggested would work, but it sounded encouraging!

    There is still alot that I can screw up, so I'm not out of the woods yet. But thanks to you all, I got the courage to ask at least.

    If any of you need anything, let me know.

    ~Chris

  15. #15
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    Doh!

    I never read this yet.. but first - how long of a relationship was she in with her b/f she just broke up with?

    I'd caution you to slow things down a bit. YES continue turning up the heat with the flirting and etc etc, but slow down on the whole moving to hanging out to dating to being exclusive, etc. until you are sure she's had time to kinda move on and be over him. Like I said this doesn't mean I think you should stop what you're doin, continue hanging out - continue showing interest - but kinda leave it up to her as to when she's ready to move to the next level.

    You don't want to be a 'rebound' or you don't want to start gettin involved with her, only to find out she's not over her b/f yet and have a big mess like that.

    If it wasn't that serious a relationship, OR if she's giving you CLEAR signs she wants to go forward with you - then full steam ahead! Again - continue to turn up the heat with the flirting.

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