Rant: Tired of being pooped on by Cupid ::long post::

[LailaK]

I am exhausted with love.

I've been single for almost 2 years now (Celibate that entire time ). I took some time out to focus on me, get closer to being the person I want to be. After a year and a half I decided to jump back into the dating world. Oh what a world...

I've been lied to and played with so much by guy after guy that if it weren't for the few decent male friends that I do have I'd be very close to losing a lot of respect for men.

First there's the overseas guy who keeps sending me presents through the mail despite the fact that he has a girlfriend now. Direct quote from one of his letters: "True, I'm with her, but I can't stop thinking about you." Is he serious? Even if I was stupid enough to still be talking to him (which I'm not) nothing would stop him from pulling the same rancid behavior with me one day.

Then there's my most recent crush. We met online and after the first date I was smitten. Not only was I attracted to him but he seemed so nice and genuine and that's what I wanted. A nice guy with a geeky side. The date went great (or so I thought) but I must have misread his interest in me or he must have been faking his enthusiasm because afterward he never called. He left me a facebook message saying he would add me to his im but after that, nothing. Radio silence. It's been a week now and I chalked it up to "He's just not into you at all, move on" and went to go lick my wounds and look at my other online dating matches (something I never do. I always wait for the guy to contact me first). Then I saw a familiar face. It was my latest crush, but this was a completely different profile. A little background: this guy approached me saying "I've just finished my profile 3 hrs ago and I saw your pic/profile and it spoke to me. I'm new to this online dating thing so bear with me..." Funny thing was this other profile which was all about sex and wanting to meet only casual friends for it (very different from the profile he talked to me with) had been active for years.

Tired of dealing with a**holes I decided to go on a 3rd date with a really nice guy I've been seeing. He's nice, has a very good job, behaves in the most gentlemanly fashion I've ever experienced and we have good conversation. He's also not bad looking. We went out and had a good time like we always do and at the end of the night he kissed me. The kiss wasn't bad. It was long, he was slightly aggressive which I like, he held me close which I also like, and took his time. There was nothing bad about the kiss. There was nothing good about the kiss either The best way to describe my response: clinical. I felt nothing, no disgust, no lust. I ended the kiss and ended our date awkwardly. I drove home in a kind of shock which has now left me in a low mood.

When Mr. Presents kissed me my entire body felt like it was on fire. When he touched me I would literally melt. When I simply think about my newest crush kissing or touching me I get butterflies. But when I'm kissed by a perfectly nice, wonderful guy, who is so patient and into me that he's put up with my moderate interest over 3 months (with only 3 dates) I feel nothing. Not even one butterfly. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

I'm fighting the urge to try and force myself to feel something for him. The last time I did that I ended up in a 3.5 year relationship with someone who was head over heels for me but I wasn't in love with them. I wasted his time and mine all because I was selfish and didn't want to be alone.

So now I'm back at square 1. Exhausted. Alone. Too tired and depressed to even contemplate dating anymore. 2 more years of celibacy (aka sheer torture) is looking mighty good right now.

[bestican]

ok, I believe when it is the right time to meet the right person, it happens. You cannot force yourself to feel for someone that you don't. On the other hand, you can't make someone love you if they don't. The time will come when you meet the right person. Don't lose faith. That special someone is out there and more than likely, you will find them one day. It will be an even investment with no questions if you like them or how they feel for you. When this time comes, you will know.

[LailaK]

I know. I'm just having an "Eat ice cream and feel sorry for yourself" kind of day.

I'm sure I'll snap out of it soon.

[Mia123]

I know how you feel. I ventured back into the dating world after a 3.5 yr drought. I was happy being single and focusing on me for a while. When cupid struck, I was only looking for FWB anyway (I enjoy being by myself too much) but he wasn't very good, there was no spark and his communications skills sucked. So I went to the internet dating agency and sent off contact requests. I don't mind doing the asking cos I know what I'm looking for. One very hot guy said yes 2 wks ago and we have been exchanging emails, txts everyday and I've called 3 times but he is doing my head in cos twice I've left msgs on his voicemail to call me and he hasn't, has sent a text instead!! We won't meet until March cos our schedules keep us out of Perth until then, but as heady as he makes me feel when we talk and as smoozies as his txt msgs are, I am trying not to let this rollercoaster ride spiral out of control cos it is exhausting.

don't look so hard is what my friends say, it will just happen.. but it is easy to give up and do without the hassle.

I would initiate some contact with potential matches online, remember that you are an amazing person by yourself and keep smiling :-)

[Jaden]

I have almost exclusively found people to date online and I am gay so I can certainly relate with your frustration. Listen, online dating is complicated.. I now believe that there really is an "art" to it. When you get a bad vibe from someone CUT THEM OUT right away. They have that block button for a reason. If your not meeting guys that seem right for you, maybe there is something wrong with your profile that is attracting these kinds of people. I can tell you for a fact that there are amazing people on online dating sites. My father met his wife of 6 years online, as have I met my boyfriend of 3. So it is possible. Hang in there.

[starbuck]

Yeah, I met my husband on an online dating site, too. I'm not sure if they're right for everyone, but they certainly work for some.

Honestly, LailaK, I would stop looking at every date that didn't work out as a complete failure and just chalk it up to a process that you're going through. After all, if all this dating someday brings you someone you love, then it's all worth it, right?

I know dry spells can be tough, but try to remember that at the end of the day, even if you're with someone, you're still alone. If you can work on being happy with or without a partner, then you're doing fine.