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Thread: need advice..i messed up

  1. #1
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    need advice..i messed up

    i am a foreigner living in thailand.met a girl few months ago,we started off as friends and i fell in love with her.she was quite apprehensive at the beginning even to talk to me because i am a foreigner.
    heres some background.the girl is immensely rich,and she was married once.she and her husband met with an accident in whish the husband died.shes still in love with him.and its been once year and still shes not ready for a relation and she keeps her heart closed.the guy was from a poor family and after his death his family started troubling her family for money and so much of that sort has happened in her life and she doesnt want to have another man in her life.
    so this is the situation where i made my entry.we were friends to begin with and then i fell in love.and i told her .thats when she told me this story,but i said i will wait till shes ready for a relationship
    we chat all day and talk everynight just before going to bed.and we chat on skype too just before making the call
    things were really progressing well ,she even had her status updats on skype as "i know oneday i will fall in love with u".
    we were talking about marriage and future plans even though she maintained that shes not in love with me yet and is not ready yet.
    then we met 2 days back on a lunch and movie dat.everything was fine.we had so much fun and then she returned home and that night she called me and said she dont think shes ready and that shes still in love with her late husband and will never have another man in her life.
    thats where i messed up.i persisted that i will wait and i knew that someday she will open her heart for me.she got upset and made me promise that i will always be just friends for her and that i will never talk to her again about marriage and love.and at that point in the scare of losing her , i made that promise
    so this is what its about.
    does anyone think i still have a chance or advice as to how i should take this forward?
    she maintains that she will never fall in love with another man,particularly a friend,as friends are supposed to be friends forever

  2. #2
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    Do you still have a chance? Jamie, what part of "you will never talk to me again about love or marriage" do you not understand?
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Do you still have a chance? Jamie, what part of "you will never talk to me again about love or marriage" do you not understand?

    i understand it basilandthyme,but i think i also understand the situation in which she said that..someone who had been discussing with me about marriage and kids cannot change in one meeting?....i think she must have felt guilty after the meeting,may be she felt shes betraying her late husband.
    but i hope some day she will have to open up her heart as everyone has to,once she overcomes the grief.
    thats when i am asking if i stand a chance

  4. #4
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    If she saw a future with you but is still grieving her husband, she would have said something more like "I can see a future for us, but it's still very early for me. Let's take it slow"

    In any case, I think it's a waste of time to chase someone who's not available. Likewise, it's a waste to wait for them.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  5. #5
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    she doesnt want a man, she wants women now. you lose.

  6. #6
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    thanks for the advices..
    i have irreversibly ****ed up tonight. i think there's no way i can do anything to reverse the damage i have done..and i dont want to talk about it,
    thanks again
    bye

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