How many people have you slept with

[michelle23]

Mature and 4 women. But can I ask why women either lie about their past or won't talk about their"short term relationships" where holiday/ drunk sex/ premature ejaculation by the guy/ or didn't like the guy does not count?

But how does it count if nothing actually happened. If you ask her how many people shes had sex with and she doesnt include the steamy grope she had once then shes not lying. Do you really want every little detail about every guy who felt her boob when she was like 17? Lol. I dont think you really need to know everything. All you need to know is that she has no stds, she has self respect and that shes honest when she tells you the number of people shes slept with. I must have kissed over 50 guys in my life but only had sex with 2... does my bf need to no that? Especially since most those kisses meant nothing when i was a teenager.. i m3an if he asked id be honest but if i dont mention it, am i lying?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

Yes but if he can still count with one hand then he's a man that had few sexual partners, I would assume long term relationships. This is what he's referring to. He can't understand why some people (men and women) can reach number 20+ so fast so that can't really be the norm for either gender.
The difference is he minds because his number isn't high either. If that poster would have had a high number and still had it in him to demand a woman of low count then he would be seen as ridiculous.

That wasn't my point....you MADE your point already. I just simply answered Peterd191 question. Because people have this opinion....so they lie....pretty simple. People want to increase their chances with someone not decrease....it's a game I guess.

[smackie9]

But how does it count if nothing actually happened. If you ask her how many people shes had sex with and she doesnt include the steamy grope she had once then shes not lying. Do you really want every little detail about every guy who felt her boob when she was like 17? Lol. I dont think you really need to know everything. All you need to know is that she has no stds, she has self respect and that shes honest when she tells you the number of people shes slept with. I must have kissed over 50 guys in my life but only had sex with 2... does my bf need to no that? Especially since most those kisses meant nothing when i was a teenager.. i m3an if he asked id be honest but if i dont mention it, am i lying?

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

I assumed he inquired like most silly ninnies do.

[HDBadger]

If a person truly feels comfortable about the decisions he or she has made sexually, whether it's sleeping with zero people or 800, then that person should have no problem telling the truth to a significant other. I'm sure I've slept with fewer women than most men. Who cares? And I'd have no problem telling a gf that.

It *is* relevant.

One or two random drunk flings? No big deal. 15 one night stands? That says an awful lot about you, whether you like it or not.

As human beings, we have a right to judge someone and decide if that person's values and behaviors align with our own.

Lying about it, to me, is a sign of guilt or embarrassment. Not good.

[smackie9]

Lying about it, to me, is a sign of guilt or embarrassment. Not good.

Of course it's not good, nobody including myself don't like liars. I believe some people actually mature and grow into a different person. Powerful lessons can be learned from past mistakes. I am more open to giving someone the benefit of a doubt if it was say from like 6 years ago. But ya I would be wary if someone was presently had that kind of behavior.....that's a no brainer. It not about values, that behavior comes from low self worth which affects all aspects of their life. They need help, not a lecture about morals.

[Peaches1605]

21 - 3 guys, 2 serious, 1 one night stand

[michelle23]

I dont know though do people really change? A player past is usually a player future. Sure they could commit and try to change, plenty do but they usually let themselves and their partner down at some point. Theres no point trying to be something your not. Some people are not built for relationships, some people dont even no what a healthy relationship should be like, nobody ever thought them and all ill say is choose your mate wisely. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt could just be the biggest mistake of your life when youve three kids, a mortgage and you find out his attemp to change failed. Not something im willing to risk

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[HDBadger]

Of course it's not good, nobody including myself don't like liars. I believe some people actually mature and grow into a different person. Powerful lessons can be learned from past mistakes. I am more open to giving someone the benefit of a doubt if it was say from like 6 years ago. But ya I would be wary if someone was presently had that kind of behavior.....that's a no brainer. It not about values, that behavior comes from low self worth which affects all aspects of their life. They need help, not a lecture about morals.

I basically agree. Like I said, one or two bad decisions, no big deal.

But a string of them? Even if that happened five years ago, it's still a sign of destructive behavior. And, while people can change for the better, it's been my experience that irresponsible behavior almost always resurfaces.

All this being said, I'm all for healthy, positive sexual experiences with someone you at least sort of care about.

[searock]

Mature and 4 women. But can I ask why women either lie about their past or won't talk about their"short term relationships" where holiday/ drunk sex/ premature ejaculation by the guy/ or didn't like the guy does not count?

Because in our society women who have slept with what some people consider to be "too many" partners are seen as "slutty", which is a bad thing to be seen as.

[michelle23]

Society is changing. Slutty men are no longer respected either by a large % of people. To me and you alike and many others on this forum, we do not like those men.. so reckless, impulsive sexual behaviour is frowned upon in general these days. Not just in women IMO

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Ugly_Swan]

Hmm....

kissed 7 guys

Had any sexual activity with 9 guys
>> 2 just touching over clothes or only my breasts (one-time events)
>> 7 that I was "intimate" with and here is the breakdown:
saw and touched all of their genitalia
received oral from 4
gave oral to 2
penetration with 0

I'm 23. I tried very hard to stay innocent at first, but fell in love and had oral. Then got heartbroken and kept being sexual. But to this day managed to not have "real" sex. But I feel like a whore. I regret a lot and I know that most of you will also think I'm a whore =( Because I recently learned that it's not HOW MUCH you do, it's with HOW MANY you do it with =( and 7 is a big number...hate myself lol may have to lie just to be marriageable. Even though I thought I saved the most important thing.

[Ugly_Swan]

Because in our society women who have slept with what some people consider to be "too many" partners are seen as "slutty", which is a bad thing to be seen as.

I actually DON'T lie and laid out all my details to my recent ex....BIG MISTAKE. It just haunts them plus you run the risk of seeming slutty--if all other girls are lying maybe I should get with the program and lie, too -- otherwise I'm getting ripped off by being the only honest one.

[searock]

I actually DON'T lie and laid out all my details to my recent ex....BIG MISTAKE. It just haunts them plus you run the risk of seeming slutty--if all other girls are lying maybe I should get with the program and lie, too -- otherwise I'm getting ripped off by being the only honest one.

The problem isn't that the other girls lie, it's the reason for which they lie.

Michelle, I agree that many people frown upon promiscuity whether it's in males or females, however, it's not the general trend. Most people still have a double standard, for which a woman who sleeps around is a lot worse than a guy who sleep around.

Even if the "frowning upon" was equal for males and females (which it isn't, not in general), it would still be the reason for which some people lie about their number of previous partners. Nobody likes being judged.

[Ugly_Swan]

The problem isn't that the other girls lie, it's the reason for which they lie.

Michelle, I agree that many people frown upon promiscuity whether it's in males or females, however, it's not the general trend. Most people still have a double standard, for which a woman who sleeps around is a lot worse than a guy who sleep around.

Even if the "frowning upon" was equal for males and females (which it isn't, not in general), it would still be the reason for which some people lie about their number of previous partners. Nobody likes being judged.

Right, but my point is--if they're avoiding being judged by others-- I guess I shouldn't be shooting myself in the foot with honesty.

[michelle23]

Starting a relationship on a lie is dysfunctional.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk