Comfy relationship needs to be official. One way or the other

[emy]

Hi there,
I'm going though a hell of a time these days. I'm in a convenience relationship with this guy for two years now, and I'm totally clueless about what I should do.
First - I'm a person that never fell crazy in love with someone and have him feel the same about me. All the guys that liked me - I did not fancy them. However I accepted a few fellows in this category. If I hadn't, I would still be a virgin. The last guy, whom I'm in a relationship with - is the average nice guy towards I did not feel any spark or even close. I love him, he's really nice with me, careful and considerate with me, my ambitions, my family, my feelings and so on. He's not handsome in a true way (I'm no pageant winner material myself, but I consider myself looking average and careful about my appearance, so I'm trying to get the best of what I've got by birth), he does have one or tho physical features that could be waaay better, but he has a really nice body. I feel really good with him when we're alone, but he has something that gets on my nerves pretty bad: he embarrasses me. When he's enthusiastic about saying something he's either shouting, or uses wide gestures to make himself better understood, or has serious speech and pronunciation issues (is he dyslexic?). When the first two aspects are showing, I'm feeling like I'm next to a .. redneck .. When the speech problem occurs, I'm feeling simply embarrassed.

All the things put together make me wonder .. is this relationship worth it? What's it gonna turn into in - say - 10 years, if his way of behaving pisses me and frustrates me so bad now? I need someone that I'm proud of by my side and feel that there can be no love when you don't respect .. and I'm not talking about the kind of respect a beaten dog feels towards his owner.

Please ... some opinions and shared experience, if you've ever been through this.

[Kyeema]

Hi Emi,

I've never been through something like this, but I think you wrote your answer with this lines:

Hi there,
I need someone that I'm proud of by my side and feel that there can be no love when you don't respect ..

Are you proud of him? Do you respect him? Do you love him?


And reading through your post even more interesting:
Are you proud of yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you love yourself?
Can you really answer these last 3 questions with yes?
Because if so, why would speech problems or wide gestures of your partner embarrass you - they're his and have nothing to do with yourself....

Why do you stay in this relationship... perhaps deep inside you are afraid of being lonely?

Just be honest with yourself, it's your life and the only one you have, same for him...

Wish you all the best
Kyeema