All i want right now is to know what to do because i have been so sad these days about our break up (which is my fault) but i will explain everything here...
It all started couple months ago when me and my ex met, it was on college when i went to an orientation and i saw her and i thought she was cute and i asked her for her phone number(dying of shyness) and after that we started talking and we both had many things in common and i really liked that she was an otaku just like me (otakus are the people that love anime) and when i told her everything about me and the way i was and i also told her that i had a foot fetish (which is something that many girls don't like or just feel disgusted by it) but she accepted it and said she was okay with it that she didnt mind and we just talked for a coulpe of weeks until i decided to go meet her again and meet her family and see where she lives. Her dad is the kind of dad that didn't like guys with weird haircut, or tattoos, or disrespectful and in the end he liked me and my parents then from that day everything was like a dream come true i knew i found the perfect girl for me. We had a lot of fun every time i went to her house and her grandparents liked me and i would make her laugh all the time and i tried my best for her to always be happy we even promised each other to have a family and one day sleep together as husband and wife, by the way she is 20 and im 17 i just started college and she is almost done, so yes everything rainbow colored until two months passed.... After two months everything started changing we had about 3 arguments over text and little by little everything was changing and it wasn't like the first couple of weeks, before she would always wake me up, call me, or spam me with texts because she missed me and i would text her back and she would be happy, but later on i was the one always texting first and she would reply late or just tell me she was out with her family and i know that is true because she is not the type of girl that would cheat on someone trust me... anyways one day i wanted to come over and talk to her about it and she didnt seem very happy...i knida knew what everything was going to end up in... she talked to me and told me that she didnt feel nothing for me anymore. I know its my fault because i would say things most of the time without even thinking before saying them and i was jealous of her because she was always the one winning on almost everything, not videogame-wise but life-wise, like she was always going to places and i never really understood why she didn't invited me but i didn't mind, and the other part is that she loves her dad more than anything because he went to the united states when she was 3 years old (btw we arent from here) in other words 17 years without knowing how her dad even looked like and when she came her dad is the only thing that she mostly loves with all her life and thats fine with me because i respect him a lot. I know its hard to be in a relationship where the women is way more mature than the guy, but i promised myself that i would change because our breakup was a big hit for me it made me think about all the immature things i said and the immature things i did, but i have explained to her that everything was going to change and that i was going to grow up because i have changed my mentality and i am now thinking of everything i say before saying it and now i get on everybody's place and see how it would feel if i told them something. But i have already told this to her and she tells me that we should be just friends for now i wont assure you i wont find someone else but let things happen and be patient. But to be honest im looking at it like this, if she finishes college in a couple of months from now and she goes to university she might find someone because she is really attractive and nice overall she is an adorable person, and i dont want her to go with someone that will maybe cheat on her, dump her, or even treat her worse than what i did, so i am really scared of loosing her i have been thinking about her every moment and every time i try to think of something else SOMETHING pops up that reminds me of her like a song in the car, a song in my playlist, a message from her, an action from someone that reminds me of her, there are many things that remind me of her, and i have ben feeling super bad and i even thought i was never going to fall in love like the way i fell in love with her and the way she fell in love with me, and i have been feeling super bad that i lost my appetite, i have vomited every night for three days straight, i have been crying TREMENDOUSLY hard that i would bite my pillow and sit on the floor and scream her name while crying in the pillow...>.> this is kind of embarrassing but its the truth hahaha. So i would do even the impossible to get her back with me i feel like we have a chance she just needs time to breathe and to kinda enjoy life meanwhile, i want to do the same thing but i dont want her to think im not interested in her anymore which is not true at all because i dont want to move on the only way for me to find one just like her is going to be for someone to make an exact copy of her which is impossible... i know i kind of sound dumb but im really depressed and right now im completely destroyed and i can barely sleep this is killing me i really love her i dont know what to do anymore moving on isnt going to help but i just want everyone's opinion on this and to tell me if this can be healed with time and later on start from scratch or tell me what the best option that can solve this scenario... and girls if there is any advice that can help me just tel me it will also help a lot tell me what i should do how to act what to tell her and those kind of things if you guys have any questions or any suggestions email me at [email]jonathan.correa50@yahoo.com[/email] thank you for your time.