Is the email serious or just a good old bitching session?

[sharko12345]

Hi there,

I have come upon an email from my girlfriend to one of her close friends (a female also). In this email she tells her friend that she has fallen out of love with me. We are together 7 years and have 2 kids. We are ok financially, but not rich. She also stated that she is noticing other males, something she never did before.

I confronted her, but she laughed it off as a bitching session about me. So what do the females on here think of all this?

[searock]

We all get moments of doubt, in long term relationships. They almost always pass, if it's a good relationship. So what you have to do is consider how good your relationship has been in the past few weeks/months. Are you satisfied with your sex life? Do you go on romantic dates? Do you flirt with each other, do you share meaningful conversations? There are lots of signs to look out for.

[sharko12345]

Hi,
Thanks for the reply. I am fairly open minded, but don't want to be made a fool of. Maybe it is just a bump in the relationship. We talk a lot and have good sex. So that is why I was shocked by the mail.

[searock]

Then it was most likely, as I said, just a fleeting moment of doubt. I get them too sometimes, and even if they get to the point of talking to my best female friend about them, they always pass because I am head over heels in love with my boyfriend and we have an amazing relationship.

You have been with your girlfriend for 7 years, you should be able to understand if she is lying. Did it feel to you like she was lying when she said it was nothing serious?

[sharko12345]

Well, I am not the best reader of females., but I did take it seriously. I found some weird notes in her bgg, I looked for the first time ever because I wanted to see if someone else was around. The notes were in her hand writing, but were poems about lusting after other men and wanting to try something dangerous. Real sort of teenage angst stuff. If was so abstract I don't know what to make of it. She also mentioned a guy in work flirted with her and she found it thrilling. She claims he no longer works there and anyway she told him she was engaged with kids. So apart of these two things I have found nothing else.

[searock]

You should stop snooping around and talk to your girlfriend about this. It doesn't matter if you're not a good reader of "females", what matters is that you understand *her*. After 7 years and 2 kids, I presume you know your partner and can tell (or at least get a vague sense) if she is lying.

Sounds like she is going through a bit of a crisis. I assume you two were very young when you first got together? Maybe she feels like she missed out on her single life as a young adult, and now she is longing for that kind of independence. I think you should have a honest, calm conversation about this. You can only solve it together.

[michelle23]

Ask for relationship counselling. Otherwise you are doomed. It sounds to me like she is subconsciously psyching herself up to cheat and its a warning sign. Do something about it now before it is too late.

Ask her straight to be honest. Does she want your relationship to work or not and if she says yes-ask for counselling

[sharko12345]

Thanks for the replies. I confronted her. She says she is confused and still loves me, but not in that way. She couldn't elaborate on what 'that way' means. I reckon only we have kids this would be the end. Conversation was calm though. She has suggested an 'open relationship'. she doesnt want to leave or me to leave. lol, this is funny now. How can an open relationship ever work?

[michelle23]

you should leave OP. like i said shes thinking the grass is greener. give her space and time to miss you and realize what she is losing. it may make her realize she doesnt want to lose you.

an open relationship is a waste of time. it will only be a matter of months and one of you wilk fall in love with someone else and then youll have to move out anyway so her new love can move in or vice versa.

i wouldnt waste my time with all that bollox anyway. its all or nothing for me but its your choice.

are you sure shes not cheating? its odd that all this came on all of a sudden. you should make sure shes not already having an affair

[basilandthyme]

Sharko, get the two of you into marriage counselling right now. You've got kids together and a loving and intact family is the best you can do for them.

[HeartIsAching]

Hi there,

I have come upon an email from my girlfriend to one of her close friends (a female also). In this email she tells her friend that she has fallen out of love with me. We are together 7 years and have 2 kids. We are ok financially, but not rich. She also stated that she is noticing other males, something she never did before.

I confronted her, but she laughed it off as a bitching session about me. So what do the females on here think of all this?

"Come upon" LMAO.

Perhaps she's tired of your distrustful snooping.