Is she having regrets or after a ego boost

[srman]

I've been in LC for the past 6/7 weeks with her, i never initiate contact. Her and i work together so its impossible not to see/have to talk to each other occasionally.

My ex and i broke but stayed in close contact for two months, things were in limbo and she wasn't sure if she made the right decision and just wanted to see how things went we went out for lunches and take things slow. She told me 6/7 weeks ago that she had kissed this other guy a few days earlier and said she liked him.

She insisted we remain friends but i made it clear it was better for us if we just gave each other space. I mentioned the fact that she hadn't met up with any of her other ex's while we were together to which respond "you are extremely different" She herself admitted that she was still to attached to me. After 2-3 days of nc she sent me a text saying how she hadn't been able to sleep the previous few nights and had been having nightmares, how i was her best friend and how i was pathetic for moving on like this. Later that day she broke down in tears and i had to comfort her. One of my work colleagues mentioned that she had being referring to him as her boyfriend the day before, the sometime she was telling me no one else compared in bed and didn't think anyone would. Several days later i saw her at work again and she would use any excuse to talk to me, and i tried to be polite and kept my answers minimal.

The first few weeks she would only try to contact me once a week if that, the past few weeks she's been contact me a lot more frequently, sometimes sending me pointless texts about how she bought a particular meal at this store we used to visit when we dated. She walked up to me said "you smell nice and you got a hair cut" and mentioned it again later, another day she was checking me out and commented my arms being bigger. I've been trying to keep myself busy by hanging out with friends and in the last week she's been really curious as to what i did over xmas, what i've been up to etc. The past few weeks i've noticed every time i've seen her or had her contact me that she's not happy and has mood swings particularly when im involved, i initially thought it was just me, but other people have commented on it too. I've know her for a long time and she's usually happy. For instance she'll get angry at me for no reason and then 30min later apologise, and call me to help her even if their were others close by.

I've been going to the gym, flirted and had fun with other girls and my confidence is back and i think she's noticed. I made all the mistakes i shouldn't have made for the 2 months post breakup, i acted pathetic and needy, occasionally i would fake being my old self and she would comment how it made her happy, and later say i "turned" when i got all needy. I'd be lying if i said i still don't hope for reconciliation in the future. Im sort of at the stage where im happy without her, problem is all this contact from her of late has made me miss her, i don't know if she's having regrets or after an ego boost.

[smackie9]

**shrugs** who knows. Since you are happy again who cares what she is thinking......you are happy for a reason...you are not with her anymore and that's a good thing.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh goody. A game-playing attention whore. She's trying to keep you interested so you will keep paying attention. Bet that when you find a new GF she'll suddenly want you back.

Love the games she's playing... You're pathetic for moving on?! You had to comfort her?!

Horseshit.

Tell her you want a professional relationship with her and nothing more.

[srman]

Oh goody. A game-playing attention whore. She's trying to keep you interested so you will keep paying attention. Bet that when you find a new GF she'll suddenly want you back.

Love the games she's playing... You're pathetic for moving on?! You had to comfort her?!

Horseshit.

Tell her you want a professional relationship with her and nothing more.

Well i was collecting some stuff of mine off her at work, then the next minute she started crying not a tear here and their but fairly hysterical, im not heartless so i sort of hugged her and told her that i had my own life to live, once she composed herself i left. I've told her that the only things she should talk about to me are work related nothing more. Maybe a fortnight ago i was doing something at work and she told me that her mother had done something funny/stupid and that she would tell me later i just said ok and walked off. Its strange she'd being getting really curious as to what i've been up to, once asked why i was so happy, but i haven't really even thought about or cared what shes being up to except for the the first week of LC/NC.

I guess the fact that im capable/strong willed enough to make myself happy without the need of another girl is something i've taken out of this.

[srman]

I skrewed up today, she was acting funny today and was really happy every time i saw her at work. I left the building on my break and she asked me later why i left and i just smiled and said just did or something along those lines. She rolled her eyes at my response and i told her not to roll her eyes at me, she said something and i told her she needs to quit being so wound up. Later she saw me and said "you ever think its not you thats winding me up" an i said " i never said it was me, i just said you were wound up" after i said that her mood sort of changed and she didn't seem happy. Later in the day i had to help her with something and she was really happy and kept saying "thank you". She texted me after work and said "thank you so much, you didn't have to do that" i didn't reply though. She was also getting a little touchy with me at work and one of my other coworkers commented on it. Her behaviour is confusing me to say the least

[smackie9]

There's nothing confusing about it....she's sucking up to you to hoover you back in as (Wakeup would put it). As for the being wound up comment, she was trying to make you jealous, hinting she could have another interest other than you. Ya ya I know girls are confusing. They don't realize how stupid they look when they pull crap like that.

Tip: don't date co-workers.

[srman]

There's nothing confusing about it....she's sucking up to you to hoover you back in as (Wakeup would put it). As for the being wound up comment, she was trying to make you jealous, hinting she could have another interest other than you. Ya ya I know girls are confusing. They don't realize how stupid they look when they pull crap like that.

Tip: don't date co-workers.

She has a boyfriend i take it thats what you meant by another interest? Saw her at work today and she kept calling me again this time using the nickname she used to call me by while we dated. I caught her a couple of times checking me out, her moods were even up/down than usual as bad as it sounds i got a laugh out of it.

[smackie9]

No I meant she's hinting that someone has been hitting on her or she might have her eye on someone else, blah blah blah......just some innuendo to make you wonder, get you jealous....games it's all games. HeartIsAching nailed it, she's just doing it for attention.

[srman]

No I meant she's hinting that someone has been hitting on her or she might have her eye on someone else, blah blah blah......just some innuendo to make you wonder, get you jealous....games it's all games. HeartIsAching nailed it, she's just doing it for attention.

Yea it wouldn't surprise me if other guys are hitting on her she's attractive and intelligent, she's being with the current bf for just under two months. Before her and i dated she was single for two years. Your right it is one big game i usually stick to my poker face or smile i don't let it get to me i really couldn't careless. Her friends find me attractive and have shown an interest in me, which she isn't exactly thrilled about.

[Boisdevie]

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Piss off spammer.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Nail some of her friends. **** her again too, if she's offering it. Otherwise, give her as little attention as you possibly can. She's an attention whore, don't bother investing emotionally in her. Ignore her, **** her, treat her like shit and she'll be all over you. Try to get close, she'll burn you. **** her and have fun with her, but don't consider anything long term. She'll flip when you find a new chick, but it won't matter at that point, just cut her off for good.

[srman]

Nail some of her friends. **** her again too, if she's offering it. Otherwise, give her as little attention as you possibly can. She's an attention whore, don't bother investing emotionally in her. Ignore her, **** her, treat her like shit and she'll be all over you. Try to get close, she'll burn you. **** her and have fun with her, but don't consider anything long term. She'll flip when you find a new chick, but it won't matter at that point, just cut her off for good.

The silence from my end is a bitter pill for her to swallow, im not going to lie when we dated i texted her way to much and was used to my quick replies, now its the complete opposite the last 10 or so text's she's sent me in the past month i didn't reply. The texts before that i reply once, not straight away either with a one worded or short text. I told her after we broke up that i still wanted her but didn't need her, i don't think she actually thought i was serious. She asked me the other day why i was angry at her i laughed and told her i wasn't and told her i had stuff to do. I fell for her breadcrumbs for the two months post breakup, im not getting burned again. She can tell from my demeanour that im happy without her in my life where as from my observations she hasn't being happy for the past month, im guessing things aren't as rosy with the new guy as she thought it would be, either way its none of my business. I care about her to much to just have fun with her, but her friends are fair game.

[srman]

At work today i was in a good mood and making people laugh, my ex included. Afterwards she sent me a message asking if we could catch up, how i make sure i see her unhappy, about being annoyed and jealous i would talk to her mum over her. Said "i miss you as much as i hate to admit it because i know you don't and i know your loving life or whatever", asked if i'd deleted her number. And later "i just need to know what your thinking. I just don't get it and im going insane, please stop ignoring me. Please just talk".

I replied once because im not going to lie i felt bad. I told her that perhaps we could catch up one day but now wasn't the right time, and that i wasn't thinking anything i respected her decision and backed off and moved on with my life. Her reply to this was "thats not fair" and how i'll never be an acquaintance to her.

I am not taking her saying she misses me to mean she wants me back, thats just delusional. I knew she would miss me, and i have no issues in admitting i miss her, however i didn't tell her i did. The" i made sure she was unhappy" comment confused me a little, the only thing i do/don't do is not give her attention. When me and her were together she never organised to hangout with any of her ex's, if she ran into them she'd talk to them.

I think she's a little confused and trying to have the best of both worlds, well thats what i took from how its "not fair". I saw her at work the next day and every time i stepped into a room her eyes were straight on me and she made no effort to be subtle about it. As far as im concerned she made her choice, and im not staying on the back burner.

[basilandthyme]

Just to clarify....she broke up with you, yes?

I really think it's time that you set her straight with "if you wanted me in your life, you shouldn't have broken up with me. I will be your work colleague, but I'm no longer interested in being your friend".

Most important, don't accept any guilt trips from someone who dumped you. If she misses having you or your texts in her life, then tell her that it's her own fault for dumping you....and that you're done with her.

You really need to put this girl in her place once and for all.

[srman]

Just to clarify....she broke up with you, yes?

I really think it's time that you set her straight with "if you wanted me in your life, you shouldn't have broken up with me. I will be your work colleague, but I'm no longer interested in being your friend".

Most important, don't accept any guilt trips from someone who dumped you. If she misses having you or your texts in her life, then tell her that it's her own fault for dumping you....and that you're done with her.

You really need to put this girl in her place once and for all.

yes she dumped me, i have to add i had thoughts about dumping her a month before she did, did distance myself a bit, but kind of hope we could sort things out. I do know it wasn't easy for her she was crying a lot, but yes it was her choice to end it. Im not trying to be egotistical but her current bf carn't really compete with me, he doesn't even have a license and walks everywhere.

I was tempted to send something like this " i do miss you, and do not have any misgivings in admitting that. I can not see why you would take issue to me "loving life". I genuinely hope your "loving life". All i wanted was for you to be happy, which i didn't and thats fine." To nice?