Is it strange?

[NewlyBroken]

Hello,

I wonder if you're able to advice me something regarding my problem. I've been dating with a guy who I met through dating website for over 4 months. As my previuos experience taught me to take seeing somebody light and breezy, I've been trying to have i like that. He seems to like me a lot- after a month already told his family about me (no, haven't met them yet- still too early, I think), introduced me to his close friends and in general, he seemed to be really into me. He's never been all time in touch with me- with a day break or so usually what I like as it gives both of us plenty of space to do our stuff.Two month ago we started seeing regularly twice a week what was nice. 3 weeks ago he started being bit distant and I simply asked him what the problem was- he expleined that part of the year is the most busy and he has a lot of work to do (works in marketing). Also, he's been feeling unwell due to lack of sleep and his usual commitments after work (playing tennis, squash, going to gym etc.). But we still managed to see twice a week and have fun. Since the workload started he's not getting in touch as often as he used to and doesn't contact me first very often. Well, is busy. But then, he went to visit his parents in New York 4 days ago and since then hasn't been in touch at all but noticed on my Facebook wall he had some conversation with a friend. Well, it;s a bit strange he has time to contact friends but doesn't answer on my mails (well,one e- mail- I decied not to send anything else if he doesn#t respond to his return). Also, two weeks ago we booked tickets to Paris and were trying to book a hotel before he goes to USA but then he was too tired in the evening before he left, so we set up we'll do it day before his flight. He didn't answer my e- mail all day and I assumed he forgot because he was so busy. It turned out he answered buy after my working time and I picked up his message the next day. We agrreed on a certain hotel choice and I asked him to book it when arrives to NY. But there's no answer to this e- mail either.
What I wonder is if maybe I overreact (quite possible) or he's just avoiding me these days from some reason. Being honest, I've had pretty bad previous relationships and when guys were pulling away it meant they wanted to leave. In this case, if it's the truth, I should just leave him and don't want to play any games. I really like him, we spend really good time together, there's still attraction between us and I don't feel any akwardness when we're together. But I wonder if it's me having myown bubble perceptio of the situation. I wonder why he's not getting in touch with me while being away. The last time when he went to vist his parents couple months ago he was constantly messaging me....

[Self Tweaks]

Sometimes I am amazed that people would rather sit and over-analyze their situations rather than finding out what is wrong. What is so hard about talking to him about how you feel? Since this is a relatively new relationship, this is the best time to establish good habits like open and honest communication. Tell him about your concerns and let him tell you how he feels.

It should be during the conversation with him where you two decide if its best to move on or continue your relationship. Sitting there all day guessing and stressing is not helping and you are getting no closer to finding out what the deal is.

Just talk to him.

[Negan]

Pay close attention for it is something that most of the couples completely forget about. Communication. No no no, don't get me wrong, i don't mean texting, phone calls, e-mails and cheap talk. Hell no! I mean actual talk about the facts. Talk about your issues. Face to face if it's possible.
What made you ask this on a forum? Why don't you simply ask him about? Is he really not into you anymore? Does he need space? He has a secret lover?
Or are you too scared to ask him bluntly, and you prefer to live in a lie than face a harsh truth, hmm?

[NewlyBroken]

Hello again
You're right- I was afraid to ask but didn't want to live in lie as had this situation couple times before with other guys.
Well, I've been thinking about talking to him this weekend when he's back from USA. But looks like he decided to break up with me via e- mail. Generally he sent me e- mail where he say he can 't go to Paris with me as things between us are not as they should be. In his opinion we get well and have lot of fun but we're different. Reason for differences given are: I want to get married and have family ( well, someday) and he's not ready yet (like anyone expects to marry after knowing each other for few months). The second reason are cultural and language differences which according to him prevent us from getting close.
Well, fair enough. I didn't answer in typical, female melodramatic way- just informed him I was going to have a chat with on Subday when he's back and just ask if he wants to be with me and if not then I'd gave to leave as can't be with someone who doesn't love me. He thanked me for being honest. Very business like conversation.
I'm bit annoyed I didn't have these thoughts earlier as would break up with him before his trip and wouldn't have to stress about it. It's just except his decrease in contact nothing was wrong.
Anyway- what I'm trying to do now is to believe that being 30 years old woman and not having anyone doesn't mean I'll be on my own till the end of my days. This time I'm going to stay single for a while but not sure how I have to manage- never been on my own longer than 3 months. But time I won't be looking. That much I learnt. I don't have many friends- most of them are married with children, so we're not in touch very often. I live with three single people who we consider as friends and it's a big help. But I have a lot of free time- my job isn't tiring or demanding. I'd go and do something like a language course etc. but don't have enough money left after paying my bills. I know I have to make myself busy and happy same time. Any suggestions?

[Negan]

Hmm, I'm glad that you broke up (no no, wait, that sounded so wrong) and you will get over it, trust me. It's really good to see you getting over this. A relationship is just a relationship after all. In the end, you didn't lose anything, you had good moments and it passed, like everything else in life.

One advice i could give you giveth the situation is, don't rush to another relationship, even if you have the opportunity. Simply stay away from all the emotional turmoil. Do something that doesn't demand much. Get a hobby like drawing, picture, writing, practice a sport, jog, swimming, sing, play an instrument.
Life is so much more than stressing about relationships. I always found myself happier when i am single.